discover your strengths

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Discover Your

Strengths
Brent O'Bannon

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Discover Your Strengths Copyright 2012 by Brent O’Bannon, MBS All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. The author, editing team, and publisher have made every effort to ensure accuracy and completeness of the information contained in this book. We assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places, or organizations are unintentional. The author and R&B Publishing shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book, and we do not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any of the recommendations, ideas, or quality of any products, information, or other materials included in the individual chapter. R&B Publishing 115 S. Travis, Ste. 303 Sherman, TX 75090 First Edition: July 2012 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data O’Bannon, Brent O'Bannon Discover Your Strengths, 1st ed. ISBN 978-0-9798049-8-4 1. Psychology 2. Management 3. Business

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Dedicated to my first mastermind that discovered and applied our strengths to business success: Latham, Ruth, Steve, Brett, Mike, Ryan

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Acknowledgements
“Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” -G.K. Chesterton My right hand assistant and rock star, Rachael Kay Albers, is to be highly thanked for her hours of transcribing, editing, and creative expertise in the completion of this writing project. Rachael’s top five strengths are Activator, Strategic, Connectedness, Individualization, and Communication. I highly recommend Rachael as a virtual assistant, writer, and web designer. You can find her at www.RKAink.com. Thank you for who you are and what you share.

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Table of Contents
Unlocking Your Potential ..................................... 9 What is a Strength? ............................................. 42 Creating Momentum ........................................... 67 Starting Your Journey ......................................... 96 Getting Strategic ................................................ 134 Influencing Success ...........................................165 Building Strong Relationships ...........................197 On the Road With Your Strengths ....................228

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Chapter 1

Unlocking Your Potential
“Life is like a combination lock; when you get the right
numbers in the right order, you unlock your potential.” Brian Tracy

In my twenty years as a licensed professional
counselor, I have always believed that every human being has their own recipe for success—their own combination of potential. This combination is not something you must search for outside yourself, it’s already inside of you. It’s your responsibility to get the right numbers in the right order to access your natural potential.
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In my life, as well as in coaching more than 27,000 people in twenty years, I have discovered that the “right numbers” are best known as our strengths. When you identify your top five strengths and begin to understand how these strengths apply to your personal and professional life, this knowledge will literally unlock your potential. This happened for me about two and a half years ago when I created what is called a Mastermind group and invited several businesspeople and entrepreneurs from my community to join me. I wanted to learn from their successes—both personal and professional—and, to my delight, they jumped at the chance. In an early meeting, one particular individual in the group—a life and business coach himself— encouraged all of us to take the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment from the book by Tom Rath. Yet, with my background in Psychology, I thought I had already
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taken all the psychological assessments worth consulting, so I dismissed the StrengthsFinder as a fad: “I really don’t want to take another assessment. I already know it all.” Finally, another group member took the assessment and, two weeks later, shared with us how inspired he was by the results. Not one to be left out, I went ahead and purchased the StrengthsFinder 2.0, took the assessment and— wow!—I felt like I was lit on fire when I discovered my top five strengths. From that moment, I have been a passionate advocate of discovering your strengths, applying them in your life, and building your life around them. And, as you might guess, my wife and two adult children have also discovered their top strengths, as well as many of my coaching clients. With the purchase of this book, you join countless other individuals with undiscovered talents who are ready to get their hands on the keys to
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unlocking their potential. Are you ready to reach new heights with your top five strengths?

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF º I am Brent O’Bannon and I am an executive strengths coach that builds strengths based organizations and creates momentum for leaders and teams. I have conducted more than 27,000 coaching sessions and spoken to more than 55 organizations in the United States and China.

Retrieving Your Keys I want to ask you a question. Have you ever
locked your keys in your car? I have. (When I was in college, it seemed like every other day I was locking
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myself out of my car. In fact, I got what was called the “Coat Hanger Award” because I became somewhat of an expert on using a coat hanger to get inside my vehicle and retrieve my keys.) One day, it dawned on me that many of us get locked out of our potential—our capacity for success—because we have lost our keys. So, we try to white knuckle it—we work extra hard on our weaknesses, trying to overcome or improve our soft spots. But the point is, we're focused on our weaknesses, not our strengths. When asked, “What are your strengths? What do you do well?” most people automatically respond with what they are not good at—we have been conditioned to think in terms of weaknesses, not strengths. What I have discovered is that when we quit trying to do it ourselves and we hire a coach—a locksmith with a slim jim who can quickly open the door so we can get our hands on the keys—that is what gets us moving
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towards our destination, our dreams. By starting this book, you have already taken that first step. Imagine me as your locksmith. Follow along and I'll help put the keys in your hands to get you moving towards your dreams. The good news is, your keys are ready for you to use. No need to go searching for them— you can access your personal and professional potential in minutes. My client Brenda is a great example. Brenda, like you, enlisted me as her “strengths locksmith” and we worked together to help get her on the road to success. A few big things happened to Brenda in the process: She learned brand new things about herself She developed a language for her strengths She learned how to balance her strengths; and
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Brenda graciously gave me permission use her story in this book.
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She jumpstarted her marriage. Before coaching, Brenda was like many of us raised with a deficiency-based model of personal development—she could never express what she was good at because she was so focused on her weaknesses. When she discovered her top five strengths, Brenda's self-awareness and selfconfidence skyrocketed. Some of us have an idea of what our strengths are, we just don’t have the right words—a language—to describe them. Through coaching, Brenda learned how to clearly articulate her top five strengths—and you will, too. (Of course, we all have more than five strengths, but the top five are the most dominant. These strengths are where we want to focus to get moving towards success.) In our sessions, when Brenda and I discussed balancing strengths and focusing away from weaknesses, I
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shared how, when we overuse a strength, it can derail us from success, whereas a strength—overused or not—is never a weakness. An overused strength can be a hindrance, but it is never a weakness. The real danger lies in underusing strengths, whether we are simply unaware of them or have forgotten about them from years past. When we aren't using all of our strengths, the terrain towards prosperity becomes that much more difficult to navigate. In Brenda's case, I helped her focus less on her weaknesses so she could concentrate on balancing—and maximizing—each of her top five strengths. (And I'm going to show you how to do the same!) One of my best coaching moments—for both me and Brenda—was when she called me with big news, only six weeks after we started working together. Originally, Brenda hired me to help her work towards a promotion and I knew the interview
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was coming up, so I had my fingers crossed when I answered the phone. I started beaming as soon as I heard the excitement in her voice. Sure enough, Brenda's strengths-infused interview was a success! With her new sense of self-confidence, as well as her “strengths script”—the language she used to define and communicate her strengths—Brenda was able to sell herself and unlock her potential, catapulting her into the next career and income level. But, since she only expected results in her professional life, the big surprise was how discovering her strengths affected Brenda's marriage, her take on parenthood, and her relationships with family and friends. These types of results are why I do what I do—guiding people to use their strengths, not only to yield career success, but also to help improve their love lives, deepen their connections with their kids, and grow their sense of personal satisfaction. When you understand each
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person's unique set of strengths and they know how to best deal with yours, you get your hands on the key to healthy, thriving relationships.

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. When was the last time you spoke about one of your strengths with a friend, colleague, or family member? When was the last time you spoke about a weakness? 2. In five-ten words, write down some of the phrases you currently use to describe your strengths.

The Strength Movement Begins The
father of the Strengths Movement was
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Abraham Maslow, a second generation Jewish immigrant from Russia and the eldest of seven children, born in Brooklyn, New York. Maslow was a timid, awkward young man who confronted heavy anti-Semitism growing up in Brooklyn. He writes about being picked on by gangs, called names, hit with rocks, even beaten up, over the course of his young life. Of course, Maslow wasn’t a perfect person. He was a human being just like all of us, struggling with the ghosts of his past and a difficult relationship with his mother, whom he was quoted as saying he was repulsed by because she never loved him unconditionally. But what Maslow did do, after studying Sigmund Freud, was develop a different type of psychology—a “healthy” psychology, as he deemed it. “It is as if Freud supplied us with the sick half of psychology and we must now fill it out with the healthy half,” he writes in Toward a Psychology
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of Being. “There are two faces of human nature—the sick and the healthy—so there should be two faces of psychology.” Though Maslow was marked by the negative effects of anti-Semitism and difficult family dynamics, he found a way to focus on the healthy side of psychology.

The Psychology of Potential Maslow believed that all humans have a drive
to succeed and fulfill their human potential—that we're not simply reacting to crisis or illness. You may have read about his famous hierarchy of needs, the basis of which is that all of us have physiological needs—for food, water, warmth, etc.—which are what we strive for, first and foremost. If you travel to a developing country, for example, you'll see how the

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majority of its population concentrates on meeting these basic needs, making it difficult to focus on anything else. After physiological needs, safety needs are at the next level of Maslow's hierarchy. Safety encompasses not only physical security, protection, and shelter, but a sense of emotional security, as well. Have you ever noticed how living in a home that protects you from the elements automatically gives you a greater sense of security in general? Following safety is what Maslow called the belonging need. This is the need for relationships, love, and, most importantly, unconditional acceptance—something near and dear to Maslow's heart. You can satisfy this need with family, friends, or another type of “family” that you consciously create. This happened to me. When I was a teenager in high school, a family I knew would take me to
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church every Sunday—something I had never been involved in before. This adopted “family” connected me with positive influences in my youth group and, though I had a great relationship with my parents, added to my sense of belonging—being part of a community. The next level in Maslow's hierarchy is self esteem, the part of us that wants to have mastery over ourselves and be significant in the world around us—to achieve something and make a difference. We want to know that who we are is important, a need inextricably linked to being and doing our best, which is the highest need that Maslow talked about— self actualization. According to Maslow, the pinnacle of life is being your best, using your creative talents, having a mission in life, making a difference in the world, and pursuing the highest for yourself and the world
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around you. Maslow was the first person to do case studies on healthy, successful people. Instead of focusing on mental illness and abnormal psychology, he began by studying historical figures who were successful—inspirational leaders like President Thomas Jefferson or psychologist and philosopher William James. Then, he moved to case studies on his contemporaries, all while fleshing out his own theory on success psychology, which eventually led him to develop the thirteen characteristics of selfactualizing people.

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MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS º

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The 13 Characteristics of SelfActualizing People
1. Self-actualizing people are comfortable with reality and have a clear view of it. Not
overly negative, self-actualizing people are no Pollyannas, either. Self-actualizing people possess a balanced, straightforward understanding of the reality of life.

2. Self-actualizing people have a natural sense of spontaneity and simplicity without pretension. In other words, self-actualizing people
are comfortable in their own skin.

3. Self-actualizing people are missiondriven. Instead of focusing on themselves, self23

actualizing people direct their attention to fulfilling a mission or purpose for the world around them.

4. Self-actualizing people have a healthy sense of detachment and a need for privacy.
Another way to say this is boundaries, or, the ability to detach and energize. Self-actualizing people love themselves and enjoy solitude without feeling lonely.

5. Self-actualizing people are autonomous.
Not too reliant on others, the self-actualizing individual is strongly independent.

6. Self-actualizing people feel deeply grateful. A continued freshness of appreciation—a
sense of gratitude—for what one has in life, without focusing on material wealth is another characteristic
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of a self-actualizing person.

7. Self-actualizing people have peak experiences. I have experienced many mystical
moments in my life, from watching the sun rise at the Grand Canyon to delivering my first child and literally bringing her into the world with my own hands. Those are peak experiences that I will never forget and they only enhance my sense of gratitude.

8. Self-actualizing people have a feeling of kinship with the human race. Free of prejudice,
this kinship is the sense of being connected to all of the world's people, no matter their beliefs or experiences.

9. Self-actualizing people have strong
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relationships. Though, they tend to limit deep,
intimate relationships to a small number of people.

10. Self-actualizing people have a democratic character structure. Selfactualizing people want to treat others fairly and be treated fairly themselves.

11. Self-actualizing people have ethical discrimination between means and ends.
Ethical discrimination between means and ends— good and evil—is the foundation for serving others instead of oneself and treating people with respect.

12. Self-actualizing people have a great sense of humor. A friendly, playful sense of humor

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allows self-actualizing people to laugh at themselves and with the world.

13. Self-actualizing people balance the polarities in their personality. For example, a
self-actualizing person who is serious minded can also be playful and childlike. According to Maslow, the ability to balance our polarities helps us achieve our full potential.

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. How self-actualizing do you feel you are, based on Maslow's characteristics? Which of the thirteen characteristics do you identify with your own personality?

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2. What differences do you notice between your personality and Maslow's thirteen characteristics? 3. Which of the thirteen characteristics of a selfactualizing person do your friends and family possess?

The Birth of Positive Psychology Now that you have a basic understanding of
the growing Strengths Movement, I want to switch gears and touch on the birth of positive psychology, the father of which is Martin Seligman, a psychologist and the former president of the American Psychological Association (APA). Seligman is best known for his assertion that psychology is “half-baked,” referring to the community's narrow

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focus on mental illness and its lack of understanding of success, strengths, and human potential. Seligman started a revolution aimed at understanding how people become their best selves. I highly recommend his books, Learned Optimism, Authentic Happiness, and his latest, Flourish, which he wrote after being hired by the U.S. Army to teach about mental toughness and resilience to trauma. The book's message is about redirecting the focus from posttraumatic stress disorder to post-traumatic stress growth and how people endure incredible trauma and still become more resilient and successful. Another one of the things that I really admire about Seligman is how he veered from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the manual of research by the APA that defines mental illnesses. If you want to know about anxiety disorders, major depression disorders, or personality
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disorders, you go to the DSM. But Seligman and his contemporaries devised a positive alternative, originally called Values in Action, or the VIA, which emphasizes strength and character, not illness. I encourage you to take the VIA survey to determine your top five character strengths—Seligman developed twenty four. The VIA is the perfect supplement to the StrengthsFinder 2.0 because it helps add more texture and definition to your developing “strengths script.”

The StrengthsFinder Revolution At the head of the StrengthsFinder revolution
is Donald Clifton, the inspiration for strengths psychology and the designer of the first strengths finder assessment, teaming up with Gallup Polls,

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who have now conducted over a million assessments using his tool. Clifton, who passed away in 2003, was a scientific trailblazer when it came to developing the StrengthsFinder—the very assessment that you will be learning about in the next few chapters. The StrengthsFinder highlights thirty four different strengths and is set apart from other similar assessments because of its high level of consistency, meaning that if you were to take this assessment while feeling blue or on top of the world, you would still discover the authentic you. If you take this assessment in ten years, for example, you will likely get identical results. In other words, according to Donald Clifton, your core strengths are set from the time you are born, though they do grow and evolve over time.

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The Modern Strengths Movement The Strengths Movement continues to grow.
Two contemporary leaders are Marcus Buckingham and Tom Rath—the author who partnered with Gallup Polls to create the StrengthsFinder 2.0. Rath also wrote Strengths Based Leadership with Barry Conche, linking strengths to leadership. Marcus Buckingham is the Powerful Steps author to of several books, including, Go Put Your Strengths to Work: Six Achieve Outstanding Performance. (Rath and Buckingham are a couple of my heroes and their work has inspired me to play my own part in the Strengths Revolution!) In his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work, Marcus Buckingham reveals the three myths and truths about the Strengths Movement.

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The Three Myths and Truths of the Strengths Movement
Myth #1: Personalities change over time.
Ever heard popular wisdom that says, as you grow and live, your personality changes? Buckingham says that's nothing but a myth and—get this—you can’t really be anything you want to be. How many of us were taught that? The idea that, if you work hard enough, you can be anything you want to be? Myth. Buckingham suggests that, with your strengths, you can become more of who you already are. According to Buckingham's research, your personality is predominately consistent from birth to death. As you shift your mindset and learn how to maximize your top five strengths, you cultivate what is already inside of you. Your values, skills, self33

awareness, and behaviors might change but the most dominant aspects of your personality—your talents— will remain the same throughout your lifetime.

Myth #2: You will grow the most in your areas of your greatest weakness
At school, at work, and at home, most of us learn to concentrate on fixing our weak spots. If you are disorganized, you better get organized. If you dislike math, take on a tutor to become a whiz. Guess what? It's a myth! Here is the truth according to Marcus Buckingham—you will grow the most in your areas of greatest strength. Your real potential lies, not in eradicating your weaknesses, but in mining and excavating the gold and the silver of your strengths so that you will be the most inquisitive,

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resilient, creative, and hungry to learn in that area. And, because few people focus on maximizing their strengths, instead of minimizing their weaknesses, as a member of the Strengths Movement, you have the competitive advantage!

Myth #3: A good team member does whatever it takes to help the team
Myth. Marcus Buckingham maintains that the best team members deliberately volunteer their strengths to the team—most of the time. In other words, many of us have been taught that you just “pitch in”—no matter your contribution—because that's what a good team member does. In the Buckingham revolution, exemplary team members volunteer their best strengths because they know

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these strengths will benefit the team. A great team member is not well-rounded, a great team is wellrounded because highly successful teams utilize each person's strengths.

Recommendations for Your Strength Finder Assessment

1. Purchase your copy of the StrengthsFinder 2.0, the second updated version of Donald Clifton's classic. Inside the book is your unique code for the online assessment—this code only applies to one user. 2. Go to StrengthsFinder.com and take the test. 3. Find a quiet, focused place where you will not be interrupted by phone calls, family members, barking
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dogs, or cats jumping up on your lap because the assessment is timed and you have twenty seconds for each question. The assessment aims at capturing your instinctual, gut response to each question. 4. Answer each question authentically and quickly instead of angling for certain strengths. 5. When you finish, check your inbox for a PDF report highlighting your top five strengths. This twenty four page report will describe each of your strengths with accompanying case studies and action strategies, as well as the best ways for others to interact with you based on your top five strengths. 6. When you read your report, highlight any words or phrases that resonate with you. Do the same with the StrengthsFinder 2.0 book. You will find that the
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report's description of each strength differs from the book's because the report is personalized to your unique combination of strengths. The book expands upon the report, with more details on each individual strength, so be sure to read both. 7. Don't worry—the StrengthsFinder 2.0 is an easy read, though I encourage you to wait to read the book until you take the assessment. Once you've taken the assessment, go ahead and start reading. 8. As the foundation for the StrengthsFinder Revolution, I encourage you to read the first book, Now Discover Your Strengths, by Donald Clifton.

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DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. Which of Buckingham's three myths have you heard before? Which ones have you repeated to other people? 2. What are you hoping to achieve by tapping into your five signature strengths? What dreams motivate you? 3. What are some of the words/phrases you highlighted in your report? Which parts grabbed your attention? 4. Are you surprised by any of your five signature strengths? What is new about your results? Is there anything that doesn't surprise you?
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Chapter 2

What is a Strength?
“Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by
eliminating our weaknesses.” Marilyn vos Savant

I'm

a father of two—a daughter and a son—

and it amazes me how, even though they grew up in the same family environment, their personalities are so different. Psychologists studying nature versus nurture say that about fifty percent of our personality is genetic—what we're born with. The other fifty is nurture—the environmental influence of the world around us, as well as the people and caregivers in our lives. And that's true with strengths, too. There's no
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doubt that, when we are born, we possess a genetic “code” for certain abilities (whether we like it or not). Talent, the first of three things that make up a strength, is in our blood, our brain, our makeup, and our genes. However, a strength is not limited to hardwiring. Over time, we acquire knowledge, the second strength component—information picked up from our environment and the people in it. As we acquire information, we utilize it to create skills, the third strength component.

The Four Levels of Learning
Learning information Applying information Teaching information Relearning information

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I

believe there are four levels of learning.

First, we gain information, whereupon we are called to do something about it—application. After that, teaching is the next best way to deepen our understanding of new information. And what's exciting is that we never really stop learning—there is always new information to process or knowledge that we can gain from deepening our understanding of “old” info. In fact, in order to avoid growing stagnant, we must continue to seek knowledge, often through “re-learning” what we thought we already knew. Skill is the application of knowledge, through which we develop wisdom—it is the ability to live it out Skill fuels your performance in a particular strength area. Take Individualization, one of the strengths highlighted in the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment.

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Individualization is my #2 strength. According to the StrengthsFinder 2.0, Individualization is the act of being intrigued with the unique qualities of people. It's a relationship strength—the ability to look for one-of-a-kind stories. A person with Individualization is a keen observer of people's strengths. They have the ability to personalize information or how they work with you. In my case, I was an only child—no brothers and sisters to play with—and I had to seek opportunities to connect. So, I honed my Individualization strength. For the first part of my life, I grew up in a metropolitan environment. In our diverse neighborhood, there were all kinds of people to meet and experiences to be had—it's where I developed a taste for acquiring knowledge about different cultures, different mindsets, and different ways of thinking. Then, I spent the second part of my adolescence in the
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country, in a small town in East Texas. I went to a little school called Grand Saline and was able to experience the unique aspects of life in the country. When I talk to people, I love to ask questions—what is your background, what are your dreams, what are your goals? I love to discover each person's one-of-a-kind story, as if each individual narrative were a stained glass picture totally different from anyone else's. Each of you reading this book has your own story. Some of you are motivated to apply this to your work, some of you hope to use this knowledge to help your children, some of you yearn to transform your sense of personal satisfaction—I wrote this book for each of you. For me, with Individualization in my hardwiring, I am not only sensitive to peoples' strengths and weaknesses, but also their emotional ups and downs, their body language, their moods. I naturally pick up on the
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little things that make up a person's personality. Many times, when I'm talking, coaching, or even speaking to a large audience, I have an ability to personalize whatever I'm sharing with the people in front of me. How did I grow in my knowledge and skill? In college, I studied Psychology, Sociology, and Communications. Then, with my Master's in Counseling Psychology, I deepened my knowledge and understanding of people, their personalities, and how to help people grow, succeed, deal with their weaknesses, and create more happiness. All the theories I learned—my classes, my reading, and my personal experiences—opened up my career to do counseling as a licensed professional counselor and later, as a certified life coach. As I write for this, twenty I realize I've been 27,000 Individualizing years—over

sessions of listening to peoples' one-of-a-kind
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stories. You can't help but acquire skill if you are applying knowledge for twenty years. Thus, you can see how a strength like Individualization is comprised of talent, knowledge, and skill.

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. What are a few of your natural talents? 2. What skills do you regularly develop in your life? 3. Name a few topics on which you are knowledgeable.

The SIGN Method Think
about your strengths. (Even if you
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haven't taken the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment, you still have a general idea of your natural talents.) In his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work, Buckingham suggests exploring one's strengths using what he calls the SIGN method.

S – Success
Ask yourself these questions: Have I had a level of success in this activity? Do people tell me that I'm skilled at this activity? Have I won any awards for this strength?

I – Instinct
How often do I practice this activity? Every day?

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Do I volunteer for this activity? Volunteering indicates that a strength is instinctual. If an activity is part of the natural flow of your life, there is probably a strength right around the corner.

G – Growth
Remember, it's a myth to believe that we can be anything we want to be. But we can be more of who we already are, and that's what Growth stands for in SIGN. Growth is the ability to learn something quickly and easily without struggling or seeing it as a chore. Take psychology, in my case. I love thinking, learning new ideas, and understanding people. I am hungry—I can't wait to learn more about coaching

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and counseling and I don't mind doing it. Thus, I have incredible potential for growth in this area, which is a good sign that psychology has something to do with one of my top five strengths.

N – Needs
We all have needs. Remember Maslow's hierarchy from Chapter One? A good sign of a strength in a person's life is that it meets one of their primary needs. You can look at this in a number of ways, asking yourself: Am I excited/eager to do this particular activity? Do I have fun thinking about/doing this activity? Does this activity give me a sense of purpose?

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Passion and motivation to do a particular activity, or simple enjoyment of the activity itself, are signs that you have likely discovered a strength. The needs component of Buckingham's Sign Method is helpful when working with kids, as well as adults in the work world. Though we tend to put people in boxes, personalities are round. In order to have a well-rounded team, family, and community, it is important to find out what excites each person. If it jazzes you up, there is a strength lurking nearby.

What is a Weakness? Most
of us are experts in noticing our

weaknesses, not our strengths, which is why it is crucial to highlight the difference between the two. Much like with strengths, we have a certain amount

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of talent, knowledge, and skill in our areas of weakness. For example, being Analytical is not among my top five strengths. Many times, people who have the Analytical strength are good with technology and numbers—my personal weaknesses. Sure, I have a basic talent for analytics because research and math were part of my education in Psychology, but, I struggled with math since grade school. I didn't want to do division! And, by the time I ended up trying to learn trig as a senior in high school, I needed all kinds of tutoring to increase my knowledge—my ability to understand trigonometry. Despite all my hard work, I just couldn't get it. It wasn't instinctual for me and, more than that, it simply wasn't fun. Therefore, my skills in math and technology are pretty basic. Thank God for calculators, CPAs, and people with this strength—like my dad, a gifted mathematician—because, for me, it's
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a weakness. You can re-use Buckingham's SIGN technique when determining if something is a weakness in your life by tweaking the language and adding the word “lack.”

S – Lack of Success
Ask yourself these questions: Have I experienced little success in this activity? Do people tell me I need to improve in this area? Have I never won any awards for this activity? Personally, I have always had a lack of success in math. (You won't catch me winning a math award anytime soon!) Using SIGN, it is easy to pin math as a weakness.

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I – Lack of Instinct
Do I try to avoid this particular activity? Must I force myself to do this activity? Do I volunteer other people for this activity instead of myself? Because talent and instinct are synonymous, avoiding a particular activity often points to an area of weakness.

G – Lack of Growth
Is learning about this activity difficult for me? Do I require extra guidance in order to understand or master this activity?

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Sure, I learned some math and technology basics in my years in school, though neither came naturally to me. (In fact, I find them quite boring.) Working with numbers or technology for too long either frustrates me or puts me to sleep. And I'm not a high performer, either—just another indication of a weakness. The point is, if there's a lack of growth and learning—you're not catching on, even with extra classes and mentoring—this indicates a weakness.

L – Lack of Needs
Do I feel drained by this particular activity? Do I avoid thinking about this particular activity? Do I consider this activity unnecessary?

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Over the years I have worked a few odd jobs and I remember two particular jobs that I absolutely hated. The first was a position on a ranch. I worked for a farmer and, one day, he dropped me off all by myself in the fields to pull potato slips. I had no one to talk to, no one to do anything with—I just had to put the potato slips in boxes. Talk about drained! I cringed at the thought of being on the ranch. The second was a job I took when I was married with two kids, looking to make some money to provide for my family. I became a carpenter's helper and it was pretty darn funny. I think I worked for the guy no more than two days before things fell apart. Now, I can work hard—no problem. But, one particular day, he asked me to take some measurements for a project and I looked at him stupidly, like, “How do you do that?!” I was terrible at it. I didn't like it, didn't enjoy it, didn't want to learn. Not too long
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after, he said, “Brent, I just don't think you're cut out to be a carpenter.” He fired me on the spot. It was the best thing he could do! I didn't need to waste my time or his—I had identified a weakness. That's not to say that I haven't learned how to build a few things between then and now. Believe it or not, I worked with my wife and father-in-law, who is very analytical, to build a wood deck and install wood floors in our house. It is possible to learn how to buffer your weaknesses, but you cannot turn them into strengths. So, why waste your time on a weakness?

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. Based on the SIGN acronym, what strengths can you identify in your life?
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2. Which strength has earned you the most praise? 3. Where do your impulses lie? Of all your strengths, which do you enjoy practicing the most? 4. Based on the SIGN acronym, what weaknesses can you identify in your life? 5. Are there topics or activities that, no matter how much you learn or practice, you cannot seem to master?

I Feel Strong When...
1. Find a quiet place, clear your mind, and take a deep breath.

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2. On a piece of paper, write, “I feel strong when…” 3. Finish the sentence with what immediately comes to mind. Here are a few of my own examples: I feel strong when speaking to big crowds. I feel strong when serving to win a match. I feel strong when I'm sitting with someone and talking one-on-one, from the heart. When I did this exercise, I wrote volumes. Then, I began to apply my realizations to specific areas of my life. To better understand your strengths, complete the sentences: I feel strong at work when... I feel strong in my marriage when… I feel strong in my parenting when...
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I feel strong on my team when... I feel strong spiritually when… Who is the best judge of your strengths? I'll give you a hint. It's not your boss. It's not your spouse. It's not your kids. It's not your parents. It's you. While it is true that other people have valuable insights on your strengths, they don't know what's in your mind or your heart, thus, they aren't privy to all your strength signals. 4. Now, reverse the exercise and finish the sentence, “I feel weak when...” Write down whatever comes to mind—all those different thoughts and ideas that come to you will help you feel stronger, happier, and more confident. Then, when you tap into your strengths you will be more than “jazzed” because you will be opening your mind to the parts of yourself
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you never knew you had. Allow me to give you a few examples from my own life: I feel weak when I'm doing math. I feel weak when I'm in front of a computer. I feel weak when giving a canned speech. 5. Now finish the sentence, “I loathed it when...” and remember to write down whatever comes to your mind. I promise, if you allow yourself to answer honestly, you will see incredible results. Buckingham has changed millions of people's lives as a result of his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work, where this exercise originated.

Tennis Lessons I
am a long time tennis player. I started
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playing when I was fourteen years old and, thirty four years later, at the age of forty eight, I'm still playing. I found out that I had a natural talent for the sport—a mind and body that excels at tennis—at a young age. I was quick, I had fat hands, and I was focused enough to keep my eye on the ball. Plus, I liked the independence and freedom I felt while playing tennis and, over the years, I have developed my tennis knowledge with coaches, camps, and tournaments. As a result, I became a skillful tennis player. Within two years of aiming to leap from the bottom rung of the tennis ladder, I won the Texas state doubles championship. That was the first experience in my life where I felt like a winner. It was a momentous success but it was also the product of hard work and quite a few losses, all the while learning and practicing for hours. In the summertime, I spent nine hours a day hitting balls
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on a ball machine while my friends were swimming and having a good time in the pool next to the tennis courts. I was there by myself, but I was determined, and I felt strong. So, I set goals that tennis would pay my way through college and—it did! (Though, my mom and dad paid for the coaching lessons and took me to tournaments, so I credit their support as having paid for my college education.) Tennis has been an incredible gift of pleasure and exercise for thirty four years of my life. I'm on a tennis team, I still compete in tournaments, and my son and I play father/son doubles—in fact, we were the #1 father/son doubles team in Texas two years in a row. What's the point? I feel strong when I'm playing tennis. And you probably have something in your life like that. It may not be a sport. It could be music, art, technology—something that makes you feel strong. Identifying what makes you feel strong is vital to
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your success. On the other hand, I feel very weak when it comes to technology. I feel literally weak playing computer games or video games while my wife is wonderful—she'll tell you that she's the world's greatest “Words With Friends” player (I'm sure she'd gladly challenge you to a game any day) and she challenges me to play all the time. I say, “Honey, I don't want to play because I don't want to hurt your feelings when I beat you.” Yeah, right. The truth is, I don't want to sit in front of the computer screen playing a video game because it drains me. It's a weakness—I'm not successful at it. My son used to beat me all the time when we would play video games. I would play and he would pound me—every time! So, of course, you're not likely to walk into my house and see me with a controller in my hand. I'm terrible. I suck! We all have something in our lives that is a weakness. Sure, I could go get lessons, read
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books, learn how to try to beat my son. But I don't want to. So I don't! Simple as that. Let me tell you something that will set you free—it's okay. Let it go. Let your weaknesses go. Turn the best of your life into the most of your life. That's what discovering your strengths is all about. Instead of trying to whittle down your weak spots, strengths-based living is about focusing on your talents and designing your life accordingly— structuring your relationships with your kids, your spouse, your friends, and your extended family around your strengths and planning your free time around personally enjoying your strengths, too. It's the most exciting, meaningful, purposeful thing that any of us can do—to discover and live in our strengths zone.

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Chapter 3

Creating Momentum
“Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal
momentum of the human soul and mind.” Bryant H. McGill

How

do we free our strengths and stop our

weaknesses? Marcus Buckingham addresses this in Go Put Your Strengths to Work and suggests two acronyms that will quickly help you generate success and minimize distractions—FREE and STOP.

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F – Focus
Ask yourself these questions about each of your strengths: How does this strength help me and others? When do I use this strength at work? How often do I use this strength? What daily activities allow me to use this strength? Am I using this strength as much as I would like? Have I received feedback on this strength?

R – Release
Releasing is about freeing a strength in areas where it is not being used. To release a strength, ask yourself:

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What new situations can I put myself in to use my strength more often? Can I change my work schedule to use my strength more? (Or, could I talk to a supervisor or my colleagues to utilize my strength more at work?) How can I track how much I'm using my strength?

E – Educate
Remember, a strength is an area where you have the greatest potential to learn and to grow. Learning new skills and techniques will help you free your strength. Ask yourself: Are there certain skills—communication skills, presentation skills, negotiation skills—that I could

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improve through learning? What kinds of actions should I take to learn more about my particular strength? Are there classes or courses I could take to enhance my knowledge in this area? Do I know someone with the same strength? The educate part of the acronym is about finding opportunities to learn and teach yourself, building your catalog of techniques for expressing your strengths. When talking to others with similar strengths, discuss what they did to educate themselves, acquire more knowledge, and develop skills. Speaking with a mentor or coach is a fantastic way to educate yourself about your particular strength.

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E – Expand
Expanding is about building your life around your strengths. I created a success script for myself— a narrative with names and affirmations for my top five strengths. I wrote this narrative to help me accomplish goals in every area of my life. The question to ask yourself when writing a narrative of your own is, “How can I expand my life around my strengths?”

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. What new situation can I put myself in—this week—to release an underused strength? 2. How can I track my strength over the next ten
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minutes? The next hour? Day? Week? Month? 3. Do any of my strengths have “weak” points that I can develop with education?

Stop Your Weaknesses Many times, people tell me, “I have so many
weaknesses that I can't see my strengths,” and they're not alone. We all have weaknesses. We're not perfect. We don't have every tool in the toolbox. So, how do we deal with our weaknesses? How do we stop wasting our time on our weak areas? With the acronym STOP.

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S – Stop
Quit doing this activity. Sure, there are some activities where we have weaknesses that we still must accomplish. In my case, one weakness I have is balancing the checkbook. My partner is great at balancing the checkbook, making it easy to negotiate, asking her, “Would you be willing to balance the checkbook?” The S in STOP is about looking for ways to stop doing activities associated with your weakness. At work, you can ask your supervisor about areas in which you are weak that can be taken out of your job description. Of course, it's a bit easier when you work for yourself or run your own business. But, even big business is turning towards strengths psychology. If you feel locked into certain activities that are holding

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you back, remember—it doesn't hurt to ask. Or, consider looking for alternative ways to stop doing a particular activity. For example, I hate trimming weeds. It zaps me—I loathe starting and stopping and pulling out the line. So, I stopped it. I don't work on the weeds anymore. Instead, I've hired someone else do my lawn maintenance for me every two weeks. I am going to challenge you to find a weakness in your life that you are putting pressure on yourself to focus on and free yourself from it. Stop spending time on that weakness!

T – Team Up
Ask yourself: Who could I partner with that has this strength?

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Who on my work team would be willing to utilize their strength to help stop my weakness? Who could teach me how to deal with my particular weakness?

O – Offer Up a Strength
In other words, volunteer and steer your life towards your strengths. Ask yourself: Which of my strengths could I use to get activities done more easily? How can I use my strengths to create a new role for myself at work or my volunteer organization? How can I offer up my strengths at home or in my personal relationships?

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Offering up your strengths will steer you away from your weaknesses.

P – Perceive
Tackle your weakness with your strengths by shifting your perspective. I have one particular client who doesn't have great relationship skills and it is difficult for him to communicate with his wife. However, he is a Learner—he loves to educate himself. So, I challenged him, “How could you use your Learner strength to acquire more social skills like empathy—to learn how to relate to your spouse?” The light bulb went off in his head: “It's about turning on a strength in an area where I'm weak so I

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can learn.” hat about you? How can you shift your perspective and use your strengths to tackle your weaknesses? For example, those with the strength of Harmony love to keep the peace and are always looking for opportunities to diffuse conflict because it is difficult and uncomfortable for them. I encourage those with the Harmony strength to look for other strengths that can help them cope with conflict, like the Communication strength. The key is to perceive your “old” strengths in new ways! I was doing marriage counseling with a couple and the wife had the strength of Individualization—the ability to listen to other people, understand their one-of-akind stories, and adapt the way you relate to them based on their unique qualities. My client was a fantastic nurse because of her Individualization strength, but felt baffled by how she couldn't' seem to figure out how to relate to her husband. I challenged
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her, “How can you use your Individualization strength to deal with the lack of connection you feel with your husband?” I could see the light bulbs going off in her head. Suddenly, she realized that she could use her ability to relate and get along with extremely difficult patients in difficult situations with her husband.

Nine Steps to Strengthen Your Strengths
1. Write It Down
On a piece of paper, write down your strength and its order in your top five as well as the basic definition of the strength from the StrengthFinder 2.0 or your personalized report. Allow me to share my #4 strength—Command. The definition of
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Command is the ability to take charge.

2. Highlight What Resonates
Read the chapter in the StrengthsFinder 2.0 on your strength. Underline or highlight the three most important phrases that help you connect to this strength—the three words, phrases, or sentences that resonate with you. (The parts when you say, “That's me, that's me! Yes!”) When I read the chapter on Command, I had a pen in my hand, ready to mark the phrases I most associated with myself. Break bottlenecks and create momentum. Yup. When there's a bottleneck in a relationship or a tense meeting, I can always help break it. I have the ability to take charge and create momentum.

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Defend the cause in the face of resistance. I like to take up for the underdog. When someone is putting others down, I tend to speak up, even if there is resistance. Confrontation is the first step to resolution. I'm not afraid of confrontation—I see it as an inevitable part of life. And I also know that dealing with conflict is the first step to finding solutions, resolution, and connection.

3. Go Back to Your Roots
Ask yourself, “How did I develop my knowledge and skills related to this strength?” Go back to your childhood—elementary school, junior

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high, high school. What were the experiences in your life that caused you to develop this strength? How did you start gaining more knowledge and information about this strength? In my own life, I was a natural risk taker from the day I was born. If there was a rope hanging off a tree over a lake and my friends dared me to take a swinging leap, I would do it. I was the daredevil who would take charge and be the first one to do something, even if others were afraid to do it. I also remember playing football in elementary school and junior high. I was middle linebacker and I was the person who loved to tackle and hit hard. My nickname was “Headhunter” because I loved to find somebody in my way and hit the heck out of them— that's what football is about. Even on the pee wee football team, I demonstrated the take charge/captain strength. And when people in school
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were bullied, I was there to defend them, either verbally or physically. I was willing to stand up to the bully and say, “This isn't fair, dude. You can't pick on this guy like this.” I was the defender, which carried over into my days as a youth pastor and a senior pastor of two different churches. (Spirituality and Faith is my first strength on the VIA survey.) I have always seen myself as a defender of the church. When people told me, “I don't believe in that” or “That sounds kind of silly/strange,” I speak up for God! When going back to your roots, don't forget to ask this question: What people have had the greatest impact on my life? A parent, a teacher, a friend, a coach? I've traced the Command strength all the way through my family tree.
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Lieutenant

Presley

O'Bannon, my great great great grandfather, was called the Valiant Virginian and there's even a book written about his feats. As captain, he was the first marine on the shores of Tripoli. He organized a crew that went to Africa, marched across the desert, overcame the enemy, freed the slaves and hostages, and brought everyone back home. He was awarded the Mameluke sword, deemed the O'Bannon sword. Sure enough, Command is in my blood. Lieutenant Presley O'Bannon was a courageous fighter and defender, who later used his “take charge” strength to help lead a state. I've got some pretty big shoes to fill! Now it's your turn. Go back into your life and start exploring. Look at it as a fun journey of learning how you developed each of your strengths.

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4. Connect With Others
Ask yourself, “How does this strength help me and other people?” In my life, the Command strength helps me to face and resolve conflicts. When I have conflicts with my wife, my family, my friends, or even a client or customer, this strength gives me the ability to resolve conflicts instead of avoiding them, stuffing them, or letting them turn into resentment. I'm not a resentful person because I deal with conflicts upfront. The Command strength also helps me to ask the questions that no one else is brave enough to ask. My clients commonly say, “Wow, that's a great question—I never thought about it like that.” People with the Command strength can verbalize a sensitive question, instead of only thinking about it. Additionally, the Command

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strength helps me to speak in front of people. People with Command have a charismatic, “take charge” presence. I come alive in front of large groups. That's the strength of Command. And, in my line of work, it helps to have a charismatic presence that rallies and inspires people.

5. Play Devil's Advocate
Ask yourself, “If I were to overuse this strength, how would it hurt me or the progress of other people?” It didn't take long for me to realize that people with the Command strength can frequently insert their feet in their mouths. I can't even count the times in my life when I have said something and my wife—or whoever was in my presence—has looked at me and said, “Really?!? You

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just said that?” They are embarrassed and I am embarrassed—a great lesson teaching me to be careful with my tongue. Because of my propensity to tell it like it is, sometimes I hurt peoples' feelings. If I overuse my strength, I come across as pushy and intimidating. And, as a Commander, I often have daring ideas that, in a group setting, are not always appreciated. Perhaps, in a one-on-one situation with more trust and confidentiality, the idea might be better received. But, I have to be careful in group settings not to overpower or intimidate other people. I must humble myself and admit my weaknesses instead of coming across like God's gift to the universe. I have my own struggles, my own trials, my own challenges, just like any other human being. And this is one of them—tempering my Command strength so I am not pushy or intimidating.

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6. Check Your Speed
Envision the speedometer on your car. How many MPH are you using your strength? 0-40 is low—you are barely using this strength. 80-120 is high—you may be using this strength too much. (That's what gets you pulled over and given a ticket. Watch out for fines and other problems.) The optimum speed for using your strength is somewhere between 40 and 80 miles per hour. Sometimes we need to speed up our strength and, other times we need take our foot off the pedal because we're driving too fast. It's all about balance.

7. Take Action
Figure out the action steps you need to take to

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better

utilize

your

strength.

Look

to

your

StrengthsFinder 2.0 report for ten different ideas for putting your strength into practice. When I took the assessment, I discovered that one suggested action for people with the Command strength is to step up and break bottlenecks. Another of my action items is to take charge in a crisis when people look to strong leadership for help—one of my fortes. Another action item for Commanders is to lead a committee. As I write this, I am the the president of my local Business Network International group, and I facilitate the meeting, which is a gift. By the way, recognizing strengths doesn't automatically make you cocky. It produces confidence—the ability to recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Confidence is not synonymous with flaunting your strengths or hurting other people with them—that is cocky.) The two main ways I have put
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my Command strengths into action are: Dealing with conflict and seizing opportunities to speak plainly and directly about sensitive subjects

8. Make a Motto
Write a motto, a word, a phrase, that helps you remember what this strength represents to you. I have several mottos for the Command strength. I call it the “Fighting Irish” because I'm an Irishman and was born on St. Patrick's Day. I also call it “Braveheart,” “Dynamo,” and “Take Charge.” One of my favorite passages of scripture from the Bible is Proverbs 28:1—“the righteous are as bold as a lion.” To me, this scripture encapsulates the Command strength. Being bold as a lion

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9. Affirm It
Create a strength affirmation. My daily affirmation—the one I have recorded on my iPhone, despite my dislike for technology—is, “I am breaking bottlenecks and creating momentum with my Command strength.” Affirmations help us change the unconscious aspects of our lives. Our subconscious is like an iceberg. Eighty five to ninety percent of an iceberg is below the surface. Only ten to fifteen percent is above the surface—our conscious self. Our conscious self can write down goals, focus on activities, and accomplish objectives—it is the part of ourselves that we can easily modify or change. The part that most of don't work on/change is the unconscious—the dominant part of our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

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The Six P's of Strengths Affirmations Daily
affirmations are powerful tools for

changing the subconscious—the part of ourselves that goes deeper than the surface. When writing your strengths affirmations, remember the six P's: Personal · Present Tense · Positive Precise · Purposeful · Passionate First, your affirmation needs to be personal. Start with your name or “I am...” Second, keep your affirmation in the present tense, instead of using words like “maybe,” “someday,” or “might happen.” Your affirmation is already happening. Next, stay positive and focus on what you want instead of what
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you don't want. For example, if you want to stay fit during the holidays, don't write an affirmation focused on not gaining those twenty pounds over Christmas. Stay positive: “I am my ideal weight at Christmas.” Along with positivity, you want to be precise. Keep your affirmation short and sweet. Make it a quick sentence that is easy to remember while also keeping it it purposeful. Include an “ing” like “I am breaking bottlenecks and creating momentum with my Command strength.” Finally, you want it to be passionate. Include a word that resonates with you. For me, those words are momentum, creating, and breaking. I like breaking bottlenecks. Break it up. Let's create momentum. Let's go. Let me tell you about one of my clients, a
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teenager with very little confidence and a big love for ice skating. Her goal was to skate with Disney on Ice, so I helped her to create an affirmation: “I am skating with Disney on Ice.” Every time she said that affirmation, she worked on shifting her mindset and making her words a reality. Miraculously, she only had to say her affirmation for one week before attending a Disney on Ice program in Dallas and receiving a personal invitation from the professionals skaters to get out on the ice and skate with them. As I write this, she is getting ready to join them—now her teammates—on tour! After a week of saying her affirmation! And that's what I'm asking you to do. For each of your strengths, write an affirmation. Here are the affirmations I wrote for my top five strengths:

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Focus
Brent is flowing in strong Focus and is naturally keeping his eye on living God's purpose.

Individualization
Brent is easily engaging, empathizing, connecting, and relating to people with his Individualization strength.

Achieving
Brent is Achieving big dreams with outrageous success.

Command
Brent is a highly paid, well respected, in demand speaker for his Command strength.

Competition
Brent is enjoying his Competition strength, exercising daily, and doing yoga weekly with wife Rhonda.

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Now try it yourself! Start creating a life of momentum.

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Chapter 4

Starting Your Journey
“Our inner strengths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken
away. Each person has an inborn worth and contribution to the human community.” Mark Twain

Imagine dog sledding in Canada for the very
first time. You're holding onto the back of your sled for dear life as you whip around steep curves at lightning speed. Up ahead of you is a sharp turn and you notice that your sled is teetering on the edge of the mountain. You are riding the thin line between falling off the mountain and creating momentum

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behind your dogs. This was my wife and my experience when we went to Canmore, Canada a few years ago. We had a dog sledding adventure—a first for both of us. (I highly recommend it as a couples or family experience.) Dog sledding in Canada taught us so many things about leadership, teamwork, and strengths. On our trip, we met a young man named Jereme, who I call “the dog whisperer” because of his expert knowledge of his dogs and how to communicate with them. He was our guide and he took the time to teach my wife and I all about his team.

Lead Dogs
“Follow me, Brent.” He said commandingly and Rhonda and I did just that as Jereme led us to

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meet the first two dogs on the team. “These are my lead dogs,” he explained to us, “Lead dogs are not necessarily the smartest, and they're not necessarily the fastest, but they're the best listeners, and they follow commands well.” Jereme emphasized that it was important to know your lead dogs so you could communicate with them frequently. After all, they are the leaders of their team. The other dogs respect them and follow them because of their leadership strength.

Point Dogs
Jereme pointed to the next two dogs directly behind the lead dogs. “These are the point dogs. The point dogs are the dogs that don't have quite the experience they need, but they have skills and the

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talents, and are in line behind the lead dogs. They help steer the direction of the team towards the lead dogs.” Basically, point dogs have the abilities, but they don't quite have the respect of the team just yet. Eventually, as Jereme told us, the point dogs will succeed the lead dogs.

Swing Dogs
“It's very interesting,” Jereme said about the next two dogs. “You take an old dog and a young dog, pair them together, and you have swing dogs.” The older dogs have been around the mountains for many years, trekked endless trails, and accrued their share of bumps and bruises along the way. Of course, they have lost a bit of their zest, their energy, their pep. But then you pair this older dog with a younger

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dog who has loads of enthusiasm, energy, and ability but lacks experience and wisdom and they influence and bring out the best in each other so that the team accomplishes its goal.

Wheel Dogs
“These are the biggest dogs,” Jereme pointed, “and they're called wheel dogs.” The wheels dogs are drama-free. Easily the strongest dogs on the team, they love to pull, they love to work, and they love to do their job.

The Driver
Then, Jereme took us to the sled. “This where the driver stands.” He pointed. The driver, we

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learned, is like the CEO, the chief executive officer. He or she drives the operation from the back of the sled.

The Four Domains of Leadership During
our dog sledding adventure with

Jereme, I couldn't help but think about the four domains of leadership, each containing a sampling of the thirty four strengths as determined by Gallup Polls. Lead dogs in dog sledding are not so different from what Gallup calls executing leaders. Point dogs, like those of us in positions of strategic leadership, are the thinkers, the heady intellectuals who tend to strategize and point us towards the future while the swing dogs fall into influencing domain. These are the leaders who use their strengths to influence and

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sell. The wheel dogs have relationship strengths. They are the people adept at winning others over, relating with others, and showing empathy and love.

THE LEAD DOG º

Take a look at the dog in the picture. What do you notice about him? I see the focus in his eyes, the alertness in the ears, the confidence in his face. This

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dog is all about business. He might even be a little intimidating. Indeed, the lead dog on my team in Canada looked pretty ferocious—a good word to describe executing strengths. Those with executing strengths catch ideas and make them happen. These people are strong at getting the job done and less concerned with pleasing or getting along with people. Remember, any strength, if overused, can hinder your success. The nine executing strengths are: Achiever Arranger Belief Consistency Deliberative Focus Responsibility Restorative
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The Nine Executing Strengths
Achiever
The Gallup Poll shares that any person who has the Achiever strength is driven for achievement. When an Achiever wakes up in the morning, they start at zero, and it's as if they try to accrue as many points throughout the day as they can. Achievers are early risers and night owls. They have a divine restlessness that pushes them to improve anything they put their hands on. They like to be busy. They like to be moving. They like to have projects. Every day is about climbing a mountain and getting to the next great peak. (But, Achievers also suffer a whisper of discontent. They're always on the hunt for the next big thing.) Achievers have an incredible stamina to
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work hard. This stamina is not limited to work, it extends to weekends and vacations, as well. Not surprisingly, Achievers love certifications. They love to know that they have finished something, achieved something, and as soon as they finish one thing, they are onto the next. They love new initiatives. They love new projects. One thing Achievers must be wary of is not working so hard that they forget to celebrate their successes or to balance their personal and professional lives. Also, Achievers must watch out for skimping on quality and consistency as they race to the next project. Achievers want to win. They fuel success. But they also should take care to apply this strength to their personal lives, not only their careers. I have the Achiever strength and, one way in which I have applied this strength to my personal life is in my marriage. In my family, literally everyone is divorced. I grew up dreaming that I would be the
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first person to have a happy, long-term, consummate marriage. The Achiever strength helps me do that. Achievers must remember to utilize this strength, not only in their professional lives, but in relationships with their spouse and kids, as well as with their health and personal development.

REVIEWING THE ACHIEVER STRENGTH
º

DRIVEN TO ACHIEVE DIVINE RESTLESSNESS STAMINA TO WORK HARDER LIKES CERTIFICATIONS INSPIRED BY NEW PROJECTS FOCUSED ON QUALITY

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Arranger
The Arranger is like the conductor of a symphony. They can manage and organize all of the people and variables in a project. They are flexible and, many times, make great multi-taskers. Arrangers can look at a complex situation, a complex problem, or a complex team and arrange it—find the perfect configuration—which makes them great leaders. Many NFL coaches have the Arranger talent—the ability to create a winning team and coaching staff. If you are looking for someone to organize and develop a team, an Arranger is just the person to do it. And Arrangers love big events, too. They can easily and efficiently organize meetings, conferences, or, on the personal side, their spouse's fortieth birthday party. The Arranger will invite

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everyone, cater the meal, and make sure that each guest has a role in the party. Arrangers have the unique ability to use all kinds of resources at once. Arrangers struggle with a difficulty in communicating why they have chosen a particular configuration. They work well when they partner with someone who can help them communicate ideas and explain decisions. Arrangers thrive with deadlines—they need them to stay on track. As a benefit to others, timelines assure that the Arranger will not become overwhelmed by details. Arrangers are not big fans of routine—they like the excitement of complex projects, so they often overlook activities that are simple or routine. Because this can be a hindrance, Arrangers should work to balance their strengths, perhaps with a strength partner.

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REVIEWING THE ARRANGER STRENGTH
º

CONDUCTOR OF A SYMPHONY MANAGER OF ALL VARIABLES EFFECTIVE FLEXIBILITY SEEKING THE PERFECT CONFIGURATION BIG EVENT ORGANIZER RESOURCEFUL BORED WITH ROUTINE

Belief
People who have the strength of Belief possess strong core values and are often considered “traditional.” Those with the Belief strength can be very spiritual or religious, family-oriented, and typically have a strong sense of ethics and integrity with characteristics of
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dependability

and

trustworthiness. In my coaching experience, people with Belief tend to come from a spiritual background, and those principles, ethics, and strategies are woven into their daily lives. This is not to say that people with the Belief strength are automatically spiritual. For example, people with a background in Boy or Girl Scouts have been taught the importance of integrity and the traditional values of being on time and prepared. People with Belief often feel that their work must be in line with their core values and beliefs. If you try to put a person with the Belief strength into a work environment and their core values do not match that of the company, you have a disaster waiting to happen. On the other hand, people with the strength of Belief can help other people on the team to find more meaning in their work. Believers are strong at helping others touch
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with their values and the importance of making a difference in the work world. People with Belief benefit from having their own life purpose statement. A purpose statement helps people with Belief navigate their world and stay on course—like a compass. A purpose statement also helps other team members understand their leader's belief system. It's important to realize that people with Belief are not typically motivated by money or prestige—they are motivated by making a difference in the world. They are motivated by the core values that steer their lives, whether it is working with breast cancer, going green, or participating at their church, temple, or mosque. However, those with the Belief strength are not always verbal about their beliefs. This depends on their other strengths. If they are an Influencer, they may enjoy sharing and communicating their values.
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However, some Believers are very private and oftentimes, learning how to communicate and share one's voice without being judgmental is an important component of developing this strength. People with Belief may appear to be rigid or intolerant of other people who have different belief systems. Thus, individuals with the Belief strength should watch out for appearing critical or judgmental of people with different values.

REVIEWING THE BELIEF STRENGTH
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STRONG CORE VALUES FAMILY-ORIENTED SPIRITUAL/HIGH ETHICS DEPENDABLE/TRUSTWORTHY NOT FOCUSED ON PRESTIGE

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Consistency
A person with the strength of Consistency believes life balance is a must. Beyond that, people with Consistency treat others equally—they do not recognize Prima Donnas or the idea that one person is better than anyone else. Individuals with the strength of Consistency feel that all people deserve respect and should play by the same rules, which means they usually root for the underdog. Those with Consistency want to ensure that everyone on the team follows a clear set of guidelines. They want credit given where it's due. A person with Consistency is great at recognizing other people's strengths, celebrating them, and helping build selfesteem and self-confidence. They thrive at building team spirit and rallying a group together—an

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important strength to harness at home or in the workplace. People with Consistency are strong at leveling the playing field and ensuring that no one person is treated better than another. But Consistent individuals must be willing to temper this strength and understand that there is a time and a place for individuality. If you overuse Consistency, you may ignore the needs or differences of individuals. Leaders with Consistency should keep in mind that different people's approaches to a project may vary. Those with Consistency must learn how to appreciate each person's unique style and focus on whether the job gets done, not how it is done. (On the other hand, people with Consistency excel at ensuring that organizations follow compliance rules—a task preferred by few.) In a large family, a matriarch with Consistency may not have a special, unique relationship with each individual
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because of her group-focused mindset. She focuses on making sure that all the kids in the nest are fed and clothed the same—she narrows in on consistency.

REVIEWING THE CONSISTENCY STRENGTH
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VALUES BALANCE TREATS OTHERS WITH EQUITY EMPHASIZES CLEAR GUIDELINES ROOTS FOR THE UNDERDOG ALWAYS GIVES DUE CREDIT LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD STREAMLINES PERFORMANCE MONITORS INTERNAL AFFAIRS

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Deliberative
Individuals with the Deliberative strength can appear cautious and careful about decisions and, in relationships, they may be private and reserved with their emotions. Deliberative individuals do not often give praise. Instead, Deliberators are focused on potential risks, problems, and dangers in relationships, at work, and in the world. It's the Deliberator's job to find the mines—they thrive at decreasing risks that may harm the workplace or other people. People with the Deliberative strength are very practical in nature and do not think in terms of abstracts, but in concrete, practical terms. Deliberative people are intuitive—their brains pick up all the small details around them and, based on this data, they intuitively avoid danger. Because they

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like to think twice about decisions and double check that people have followed through, Deliberators have a tendency, if they overuse their strength, to micromanage. And, because they are strong decision makers, Deliberative people may be seen as naysayers. It's important to keep in mind that Deliberators are not negative for the sake of being negative. When a Deliberator perceives danger, they try to warn the group and encourage others to make wise decisions. Individuals with the Deliberative strength help us avoid the mine fields that could potentially sabotage success and slow us down in relationships.

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REVIEWING THE DELIBERATIVE STRENGTH
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CAREFUL/CAUTIOUS PRIVATE/RESERVED VIEWS LIFE AS A MINEFIELD LOOKS TO DECREASE RISK RIGOROUS THINKER INTUITIVE PRACTICAL

Discipline
People with the Discipline strength love structure and order. Disciplined individuals prefer to have a plan and they enjoy executing precise strategies. Individuals with the strength of Discipline also tend to desire control. Disciplined people frequently look to control their environment, events
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and activities, and relationships, which can be a hindrance in their pursuit of success. Part of the need for order, control, structure, and precision is because Disciplined people have a great need for productivity. Their need to maximize production makes them big fans of “To Do” lists at work and home. Disciplined people create systems for how they organize and file things. They are incredibly efficient. Individuals with the Discipline strength must be careful not to miss moments of spontaneity. As counterintuitive as it seems, Disciplined people benefit from learning how to “structure” spontaneity into their lives—moments to do nothing, smell the roses, and simply enjoy life. Disciplined people struggle with mistakes and they can be harsh or demanding with themselves and others, too. My son, a tennis player with the strength of Discipline, says, “Pain
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facilitates

change.”

Disciplined people possess the mentality that pain creates success. Yet, change can be painful for individuals with the strength of Discipline. Those with the Discipline strength need advance notice of adjustments because their lives are so structured, both personally and professionally. A last minute change can be difficult and stressful for the Disciplined person. They feel that, in order to be successful, they have to follow a routine and make a habit of order in every aspect of their lives. Order comes naturally for Disciplined individuals, which can be a helpful strength in a team member.

REVIEWING THE DISCIPLINE STRENGTH
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VALUES STRUCTURE AND ORDER PRECISION PLANNER FEELS THE NEED FOR CONTROL 118

SCHEDULES ENTIRE LIFE CREATES SYSTEMS

Focus
Focus is my #1 strength. I believe I was born with Focus and I cultivated this strength when I started playing tennis. (I've been playing tennis for thirty four years!) I remember one of the first phrases I was taught as a tennis player: “Keep your eye on the ball.” That's exactly what a person with Focus does—Focused individuals have the ability to concentrate on their target and ask themselves each day, “Where am I headed? Where am I going? What is my priority? What is my goal?” Focused individuals also have the ability to filter out extraneous distractions, which is helpful when they are setting goals for themselves or others.
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It's one of the things I enjoy most as a life and business coach—helping people set goals, not only for their careers or businesses, but for their marriages, their relationships, and their lifestyles. People with Focus like to review their goals. They enjoy writing purpose statements. Goal-oriented people benefit from reviewing their goals daily in order to finish what they start. For example, Focused people are usually quite adept at summarizing a meeting when ten different people have shared their thoughts. At the end of the meeting, they can quickly and succinctly wrap up what the meeting was all about, as well as assessing appropriates timelines or deadlines. People with Focus like to prioritize before they act. And, while they appear to procrastinate, they tend to do what I call incubating. Incubating means sorting through different information and letting it
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simmer and cook before acting. And people with Focus are very skilled at staying on track with their strengths and helping other people to stay on track, too. If a person overuses their Focus, which I have been known to do, they can get tunnel vision. Early on in my marriage, my wife and I would go to my inlaws' and while I was reading a book on some topic that I was focused on learning, they would often complain, “Brent, you always have your nose in a book!” I had tunnel vision—I was so focused on my goal that I had to learn how to focus on my relationships, my family, and my other priorities. Balance is important. People with Focus may emphasize their career goals and forget to pay attention to their relationships with their kids or their spouse. Focused individuals must beware of tunnel vision. When interacting with a Focused person, keep
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in mind that they may come across as unsentimental or unemotional because they are so tenacious and focused on their goals that they forget others' feelings. This is not because they want to hurt others, but because the Focus strength makes them zero in on a different goal.

REVIEWING THE FOCUS STRENGTH
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INTENSE CONCENTRATION HELPS OTHERS SET GOALS PRIORITIZES THEN ACTS STAYS ON TASK UNSENTIMENTAL SUMMARIZES MEETINGS

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Responsibility
Janelle is a Realtor, a broker, and one of my coaching clients. She owns her own company and has several other Realtors who work for her. Oh, and Janelle just had an $8 million dollar year! I believe that Janelle's ability to be so successful in the midst of a struggling economy comes from her strength of responsibility—the ability to take psychological ownership, not only in her work, but in her personal life. Janelle's inner monologue is, “I need to be the rock, I need to be dependable, I need to get it done.” People with Responsibility are very conscientious of details, whether it's completing complicated paperwork or noticing body language. Responsible
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2

Janelle graciously gave me permission use her story in this book.

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individuals are also highly ethical and committed to following the rules, not bucking the system. If a Responsible person drops the ball, forgets something, or makes a mistake, they will go out of their way to make it right. The danger in overusing the Responsibility strength is feeling guilt over not doing enough. People with the Responsibility strength are chronic volunteers. They struggle to say no—they feel compelled to volunteer and be responsible for the sake of the team or someone important to them. Thus, people with Responsibility must learn how to balance “yes” and “no.” Responsible individuals should gravitate towards areas where they can apply their other strengths, instead of saying “yes” to everything. Those with Responsibility should volunteer in their specialty, their niche—excelling and becoming an expert, not watering down their strengths by doing too much for
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too many people. Responsible individuals risk overloading themselves or feeling burned out if they are not able to balance “yes” and “no” and allow other people to take responsibility for their own mistakes and shortcomings. Research shows that Responsibility is the first of two strengths that managers love in their employees. And wouldn't you love to have a spouse that has the strength of Responsibility? All the bills get paid on time, all the details get done. People with the strength of Responsibility relationships dependable. excel and in prove their businesses to and be themselves

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REVIEWING THE RESPONSIBILITY STRENGTH
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PSYCHOLOGICAL OWNERSHIP DEPENDABLE CONSCIENTIOUS HIGH ETHICS SEEKS JUSTICE FOR OTHERS SKILLED MANAGERS

Restorative
People with the Restorative strength love to solve problems. They love to fix things. Restorers are energized, not defeated, by problems, and they love to find something that is broken, like a car, and restore it to its original, pristine condition. Restorative individuals can also take a conceptual problem—a malfunction in a computer or software
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system, for example—and break that problem down until they find a solution. People with the Restorative strength also love to fix personal problems. They gravitate towards situations where they can restore/bring a person “back to life.” It's important for the person with the Restorative strength to limit the problems they fix, choosing the types of problems they become experts in, rather than trying to solve all of the world's practical, conceptual, and personal problems. An entrepreneur I coached had a marketing and computer company—Geeks for Rent—and he loved going to other business owners who had a marketing or computer program online and finding ways to fix the problem. He applied this strength in his relationships, too, listening to his daughter or his friends and paying attention to their body language, observing all of the little details in order to offer
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great solutions and feedback. He did it because he wanted to bring things back to life. That's what the Restorative strength is all about. I have coached many people with the Restorative strength and a great deal of these individuals have experienced some form of tragedy, trauma, or personal failure in their life. Restorative people possess a grace and love for other people—they enjoy helping those who feel broken and want to nurture, love, and restore that person “back to life.” Restorative individuals must remember to use this strength on themselves, whether it's coping with a divorce, an addiction, or another type of personal obstacle. Restorers must be willing to bring themselves “back to life,” too. People with the Restorative strength can err on the self-critical side because they are so hungry for constant selfimprovement and must, therefore, balance this with
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self-care. Restorative folks are good team energizers because they are skilled at encouraging other people to improve their lives.

REVIEWING THE RESTORATIVE STRENGTH
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LOVES TO SOLVE PROBLEMS ENERGIZED BY PROBLEMS PRACTICAL CONCEPTUAL PERSONAL BRINGS THINGS BACK TO LIFE KEEN OBSERVER

Remember, life is like a dog sled team—it's how we harness our strengths that will help us create

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momentum for outrageous success. And that's my passion for you—to create momentum for outrageous success, not only in your professional life but in your personal life, as well.

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Chapter 5

Getting Strategic
“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of
the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday.” Miyamoto Musashi

In the previous chapter, I told you about my
dog sledding trip in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Canada and how the four pairs of dogs on a dog sled team coincide with the Gallup Poll's four domains of leadership: Lead dogs have executing strengths. They catch ideas and make them happen.

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Point dogs have strategic strengths. They have a vision of possibility. Swing dogs have influencing strengths. They sell ideas. Wheel dogs have relationship strengths. They are the glue of the team. Point dogs possess a set of strengths that has to do with vision and possibility—the domain of strategic thinking.

THE POINT DOG º

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Take a look at the picture of the point dog. I want you to notice several things about this pooch. Start with his eyes. They are introspective, as if this particular dog has a lot on his mind. The ears are laid back, unlike the lead dogs, with their executing style of leadership. This dog is actually looking backwards, taking in information and data. That's exactly what the whole domain of leadership is about. The eight strategic strengths are: Analytical Context Futuristic Ideation Input Intellection Learner Strategic
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The Eight Strategic Strengths
Analytical
People with the Analytical strength love to challenge ideas and they deal largely with facts, not emotions, which can be quite disconcerting for individuals with different strengths. When trying to communicate with or persuade someone who's Analytical, emotional words and body language will be ineffective, unless the individual also has relationship building strengths. People with a dominant Analytical strength see patterns very easily—patterns in the universe, patterns in their work, patterns in their family, patterns in the world around them. They enjoy asking questions in order to identify patterns and find solutions. In other
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words, Analytical people love to analyze, and often thrive in the medical research or database management fields. One risk with Analytical people is paralysis by analysis—over analyzing something until one is stuck. If an Analytical individual partners with someone with the Activator strength, the Activator can help the Analytical person to get going. To empower an Analytical person, show them data that supports what you're telling them. I was coaching a couple and the wife asked for help relating to her husband, an Analytical individual who wasn't very good at showing physical affection. I suggested to the wife that, instead of expressing how loved she felt when her husband hugged her, that she keep a journal and write down the exact number of hugs he gave her within a two week period as connected to her degree of satisfaction with the relationship. Data talks when it comes to Analytical
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individuals.

REVIEWING THE ANALYTICAL STRENGTH
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CHALLENGES IDEAS BACKS UP THEORY WITH FACT PRIORITIZES DATA OVER EMOTION SEES PATTERNS LOVES ASKING QUESTIONS GETS PAID TO ANALYZE

Context
Context is a unique strength in which people's brains looks backwards. Contextual individuals feel that the present moment is unstable. They feel more alive when looking at history—the history of mankind, the history of a relationship, the history of
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the individual to whom they are relating. Contextual individuals relate and devise plans by looking at the past. I have a couple of different clients with this particular strength. One is a therapist who loves asking questions about where clients grew up and what their experiences were. The more she learns about a person's history, the more it helps her to relate to the individual in the present. My other client is a person who honors the past. He loves reflecting on his childhood, which he looks upon as the best, most successful, most enjoyable time in his life. In fact, he is struggling to adapt to his adult life and his mind sometimes fixates on his childhood because it's the time when he felt the most successful. One of the things that we decided together to help him deal with his present reality was to create a special room—kind of like a “man cave”— in his house. This room is separate from his wife and
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kids, filled with memorabilia and items from his childhood. He also filled it with items representing his present interests—historical reenactments of Bonnie and Clyde and the clothes, cars, weapons, and history of the period. His daily time in this room working on crafts and hobbies energizes him because he surrounds himself with positive history. People who have the strength of Context typically love case studies. They enjoying taking a real person or civilization from the past and exploring. If you give them Rome, they want to know all about it, what caused it to rise and fall, how everything happened. Then, they take that information and use it to help their business or a person in need. Contextual people are not “deja vu” people, they are “vuja de” people. “Deja vu” is when we take something from the future and it's in the moment. But vuja de helps us understand the past
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and how the past affects the future. One of the most important principles to remember about people with the Context strength is their firm belief that those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it. The Contextual individual's mindset is focused on understanding the past in order to make the present and future better.

REVIEWING THE CONTEXT STRENGTH
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LOOKS BACKWARD FEELS THE PRESENT IS UNSTABLE HAS CONFIDENCE IN HISTORY RELATES THROUGH THE PAST HONORS THE PAST LOVES CASE STUDIES BELIEVES PAST PREDICTS FUTURE

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Futuristic
People with the Futuristic strength love to look across the horizon. As dreamers, they are fascinated and energized by the future. And they have great imaginations! I wouldn't be surprised if George Lucas, the legendary Star Wars inventor and movie producer, was a Futurist. People with the Futuristic strength are all about possibilities. One of my clients is a career coach for teenagers going into college and, lucky for them, she has the Futuristic strength. She is gifted at helping children find their niche in the career world. Because she is the type of person that loves to dream and look to tomorrow, she is an incredible career coach. Other people with the Futuristic strength are gifted at making

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predictions in business or the stock market. And futuristic speakers are individuals whose imaginations can go “where no man has gone before.” Based on that, Futurist individuals can communicate and share predictions—you can imagine how this could help entrepreneurs and business leaders beat the competition. Futuristic individuals are often drawn to the fields of science and technology because both fields are always evolving. People with the Futuristic strength need to partner with Activators. Futuristic people can stay “in their head”—not grounded in the moment—and they need someone with the Activator strength to help them follow through with current ideas, goals, and dreams instead of focusing so narrowly on the future. Of course, you will never take that away from a person with the Futuristic strength, but it can
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always be balanced.

REVIEWING THE FUTURISTIC STRENGTH
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LOOKS OVER THE HORIZON FASCINATED BY THE FUTURE DREAMER ENERGIZED BY TOMORROW STUDIES SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY FUTURIST SPEAKER CAREER COACH

Ideation
I would venture to guess that Donald Trump has the strength of Ideation. One of the most successful real estate tycoons and entrepreneurs in the world, he is fascinated with ideas. He loves
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exploring and explaining concepts. His mind is always looking for new angles, new perspectives, new views. He perceives possibilities in ways radically different from the common person. And he's an idea guy when it comes to architecture, as well as golf— one of his company split-offs is called Donald Trump's World of Golf. Donald Trump loves the idea of golf. But, even more than that, he loves designing golf courses. And you should see the sparkle in his eye when he talks about his ideas on how to carve out a beautiful, exciting, challenging golf course in the middle of the Earth. He's on a mission to create and change the world, eighteen holes at a time and it's because he's fascinated with all of the angles and perspectives of building a golf course. An interior designer I know has the Ideation strength. She talks about walking into a house, looking at the furniture and where it's placed, and immediately envisioning a
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better design for the room. At night, laying in bed, she thinks about how to design a home and where each piece should go. People with the Ideation strength are easily bored. They need novel ideas and new topics to think about. Ideators benefit from having a thinking chair—a special place to sit, meditate, and allow ideas to grow. Many times, people with the Ideation strength need to partner with someone who has the Analytical strength. Why? Analytical people love to ask questions and poke holes in ideas. Essentially, Analytical individuals challenge ideas, helping both people to get the best idea out of the exchange. People with the Ideation strength are also extremely motivated by research and development and often excel in this area of the business world.

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REVIEWING THE IDEATION STRENGTH
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FASCINATED BY IDEAS ENJOYS NEW PERSPECTIVES CONTRARY ANGLES BORED QUICKLY

Input
People with the Input strength are like sponges. Their minds soak up, collect, and store information like a sponge soaks up every ounce of liquid in its path. People with this strength like to collect quotes, stories, anecdotes, or material items. Whatever an Input person is fascinated with, they love to collect, and it's difficult for them to throw things away. If you overuse the Input strength, it is
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easy to be a hoarder, either physically or emotionally. Sometimes, individuals with the Input strength feel a sense of chaos because they have so many ideas and material things in their home that their mind feels similarly cluttered. On an emotional level, for example, I have coached people with the Input strength who have too many irrational or extraneous ideas about their husband or wife floating around in their heads to be able to think clearly about the relationship. This abundance of ideas clutters up their mind and gets in the way of enjoying a happy, healthy marriage. On the positive side, a person with the Input strength loves to ask, “What is my question today?” (One person I know literally asks himself a question a day, starting a daily quest to gather all the information, data, and ideas related to the question that he can.) Not surprisingly, people with the Input strength love the Internet—they are huge fans of
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Google—because it gives them access to thousands of rabbit trails for seeking and searching out all the latest information. Thus, people with Input are a great encyclopedia of trivial information and are usually excellent teammates in Trivial Pursuit. But, if an Input person overuses this strength, they may be seen as a “know it all.” Input individuals must be careful not to spout knowledge, facts, and ideas without knowing that the other person wants to hear the information. To help with this, people with the Input should create systems for storing information, whether it's mentally or physically, because the sheer quantity of ideas and information can be overwhelming. Individuals with Input typically benefit from someone who has organizing skills to help focus their curiosities into one area, becoming experts instead of renaissance collectors. Input individuals should consider how they can monetize
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their strengths, asking themselves, “How do I turn this strength into a moneymaker? How can this help me create a better business? Advance my career? Maximize my family/love life?” The key is finding ways for an Input person to use the information they gather instead of allowing it to grow stagnant. Those with the Input strength must find avenues to share their information. People with Input make great librarians, researchers, legal assistants, and virtual assistants.

REVIEWING THE INPUT STRENGTH
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MIND IS A SPONGE COLLECTS AND STORES STRUGGLES TO DISPOSE OF ITEMS LOVES THE INTERNET ASKS A DAILY QUESTION 148

Intellection
Individuals with Intellection are people who love mental activity. They are constantly wearing their “thinking cap.” Sometimes, these individuals can struggle with focus and Intellection becomes an underused strength because Intellecters don't know where/how to use it. People with Intellection enjoy time alone. I once spoke with a prisoner of war who told me that the strength of Intellection helped him when he was placed in solitary confinement because he was able to make it a celebration of solitude and spent his time reflecting on his life and its many joys. People with the strength of Intellection have a constant mental hum. They like to let their ideas simmer and perk. Once they let an idea brew, individuals with Intellection are able to produce

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action and results. One of my clients loves to serve on boards in her community. I asked her, “What's your motivation for serving on these boards?” She shared that she was intellectually stimulated by the problems and issues that each board confronted and liked that it caused her brain to think in new ways. People with Intellection want and need their ideas to be challenged. If you want to connect with a person with Intellection, play devil's advocate. Individuals with Intellection believe that a challenge only creates a better, more complex, more efficient idea.

REVIEWING THE INTELLECTION STRENGTH
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MENTAL ACTIVITY FOCUS DEPENDS ON STRENGTHS SOMETIMES LACKS FOCUS ENJOYS TIME ALONE 150

MENTAL HUM LIKES IDEAS TO BE CHALLENGED

Learner
People with the Learner strength are not interested in learning because it offers a certificate or degree, they simply love the process of learning. Learners want to know about the world and what makes it work. Sometimes we call them professional students, because they are perpetually taking classes. Learners just can't get enough of learning new things. Learners benefit from understanding their unique learning style. Some people learn more efficiently by reading or watching something. Others learn through experience—an aesthetic approach. In other words, self-awareness is critical, especially in terms of how a Learner learns best.
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Ideally, Learners should track their learning as a means of building self-confidence. Because Learners do not learn for the sake of a degree or title, tracking their continuing education units, how many books they've read, how many people they've interviewed, all the data that they have discovered, helps build self-esteem. Learners love to adapt—they love novelty. They're the folks that help others embrace and enjoy change. I know a lovely Learner who taught her children to camp when the electricity went out during a storm. Her children were scared because there was no light except for candles, so they made a tent and she created a camping experience inside their home to distract them from the storm. Learners should take advantage of continuing education programs at their workplace. If you are a Learner, find out if your employer is willing to pay for your education so you can reach that next level of
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learning and career success. Learners are also good friends of technology because technology is constantly changing. Remember, as with any

strength, it is important for Learners to utilize their unique abilities in one or two expert areas. It's easy to be a jack of all trades and a master of none. Learners should find one or two areas where they will shine and maximize and monetize their strength. I have a friend, Latham Shinder, who is a ghostwriter and a Learner. Latham loves to learn, travel, interview people and he is on his way to becoming the world's #1 memoir ghostwriter. How has he been so successful? He has grown his business by harnessing his Learner strength to become an expert in memoir ghostwriting. He loves hearing people's stories and learning about their lives and, doing so, has become the expert on creating New York Times bestseller-ready books for his clients.
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REVIEWING THE LEARNER STRENGTH
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LOVES PROCESS OF LEARNING CURIOUS ABOUT THE WORLD LIKES NOVELTY/CHANGE THRIVES AS AN EXPERT MUST TAP INTO PERSONAL STYLE BENEFIT FROM TRACKING LEARNING

Strategic
People who have the Strategic strength are incredible chess players—surprise, surprise. In fact, most Strategic individuals are bored by checkers because there simply aren't enough moves. Chess gives Strategists the ability to think ahead and find the best route—an act that energizes and excites
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them. Though, if you ask a Strategic individual how they came up with a strategy, many times they can't tell you. That's because strategy comes naturally to Strategists. Strategic individuals are always asking, “What if this or that happens?” They identify all the what ifs, select a route, and strike. Strategic thinkers see around the corner and focus on saving time. Strategists aren't interested in extraneous information, they want to get to the target. Some Strategic thinkers are pinned as devil's advocates. But most individuals with this strength aren't trying to be defensive or combative—they are simply looking for the most efficient way to success. The risk of overusing the strength of Strategy is that individuals with this strength create strategies for others but forget to develop a strategy in their own lives. That's what I do as a coach. I help people create strategies, figure out goals, articulate their dreams,
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maximize their relationships and have those “Aha!” moments. Oftentimes, my clients have light bulbs go off when they realize they are under-utilizing the strength of strategy in their personal lives. Using strategy in your personal life has no bounds. You can use strategy to become a better tennis player or a better golfer. The sky is the limit. Strategic individuals are leaders and idea generators, though they may not be very inspirational unless they also have influencing strengths. People with the strength of strategy should stay on the front end, rather than the back end, of projects. Strategic individuals are bored when a project is already completed. At the front end, Strategic individuals can help to identify patterns that are otherwise overlooked and, with these patterns, create a plan—whether it's a marketing plan, a speaking plan, or a business development plan.
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REVIEWING THE STRATEGIC STRENGTH
º

FINDS THE BEST ROUTE ASKS “WHAT IF?” SEES, SELECTS, STRIKES LOOKS AROUND THE CORNER STRATEGIZES GOALS LEADS WITH IDEAS IDEALLY ON FRONT END

Remember, no strength is better or any worse than another strength. When used strategically, each and every strength has the capacity to yield immense success in the possessor's life. It is the combination of all thirty four strengths that creates harmony in the world. It is why we come together to form families and communities. Allow yourself to create

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momentum for outrageous success by not only discovering, labeling, actualizing, and maximizing, but also monetizing your strengths.

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. Which of the eight strategic strengths do you possess? 2. Which of the eight strategic strengths do you recognize as a weakness? 3. Do any of your family or friends possess one or more of the eight strategic strengths?

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Chapter 6

Influencing Success
“The road to success is always under construction.”
Lily Tomlin

Swing dogs, the third pair of dogs coinciding
with Gallup's four domains of leadership, have influencing strengths—they sell ideas. Influencing individuals help teams reach a broader audience. These are the folks that can take charge, speak up, and make sure a group is heard. People with influencing strengths have an uncanny ability to influence, sell, and persuade.

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THE SWING DOG
º

Notice that the dog in this picture is different. He looks playful and outgoing, his ears are erect and listening well—he looks lovable—and his open mouth is similar to those who love to talk, influence, interact, and socialize. The eight influencing strengths are:

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Activator Command Communication Competition Maximizer Self-Assurance Significance Woo

The Eight Influencing Strengths
Activator
People that have the Activator strength are what I call “Just do it” individuals. The Activator strength is all about action. Activators believe actions speak louder than words. They want to know, “When are we going to get going?” A little less talk and a lot
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more action. When Activators have an idea, they don't think about it very long. They are also aesthetic learners and, rather than just reading or listening to ideas and theories, they want to practice, they want to role play, they want to experience it. Activators are good fits for start-up organizations. They are most effective when a project needs momentum to get started. People with the Activator strength don't really follow the “Ready, aim, fire!” approach. Activators are more like “Ready, fire, aim!” They tend to act spontaneously with very little preparation, though they are still extremely practical. I love the story of an Activator, a nun, who had 140 acres of land back in the 1970s during the energy shortage. She said, “We need to drill for gas!” The only problem was, it cost around $100,000 to even determine whether there was gas on the land and if it could be used legally. So, this bright Activator
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discovered a way to secure $100,000 and, sure enough, they discovered that she had a huge supply of gas on her land. Sometimes Activators can seem impatient, so they must ensure that they take the time to build relationships with key people instead of trying to run the show all by themselves. Activators must also remember to balance their strengths. If you are always acting, you will eventually shoot yourself in the foot. But Activators typically don't mind mistakes because they are always learning from their experiences. Activators learn from their mistakes in order to make smart decisions going forward. Pair an Activator with an Analyzer and you can help an Analyzer avoid paralysis by over-analysis. Activators must recognize that there is a time and a place to act impulsively, in order to maximize their strength, not overuse it.
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REVIEWING THE ACTIVATOR STRENGTH
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“JUST DO IT”
EAGER TO GET GOING BELIEVES ACTIONS TALK KINESTHETIC LEARNERS READY, FIRE, AIM

Command
A person with the Command strength can take charge, especially in times of crisis or conflict. Command individuals thrive with clarity and honesty and hate unresolved conflict. They prefer to expose conflict so it can be dealt with quickly. Command individuals ask a lot of questions—the questions no one else has the courage to ask. Remember Lieutenant Presley O'Bannon? One of the founding
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fathers of the Marines awarded the Mameluke sword for his courage? That Command strength is in my heritage. People with the Command strength are adept at breaking bottlenecks and creating momentum. They have the desire to lead and feel energized by taking charge. They often defend the underdog—someone who would be otherwise defenseless. Individuals with Command also love to serve as spokespeople for organizations. If you need straightforward, honest evaluation of something, ask someone with the Command strength. Individuals with Command will not try to flatter you with insincere observations—they will give you their honest, straightforward evaluation because they believe that honesty is the best policy. Of course, people with the Command strength can overuse it by acting bossy, pushy, intimidating, or opinionated. It's important that people with the Command strength
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partner with individuals who have the strength of Empathy. People with Empathy or relator strengths help soften the strength of Command, which can otherwise be quite intimidating. Command individuals do have a heart but sometimes they need other people to soften them up. I think it's ironic that my wife has four out of five relationship strengths—she certainly helps to balance my Command strength. Dealing with a person who has the Command strength is somewhat unique. You must recognize a Command individual's need to lead. You also must recognize that people with the Command strength want your honest feedback. If they are hurting the organization or being too pushy, they want to know it and are not intimidated by your straightforward feedback. They crave it, they need it, they want it. When a person with the Command strength is overpowering you or stepping on your
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toes, you can help them slow down and balance their power and presence. Some refer to Commanders as “pit bulls.” But don't you want a pit bull on your side when it's time to fight? (If you are going to challenge an individual with the Command strength, make sure it's a worthy cause because Command individuals are great fighters!)

REVIEWING THE COMMAND STRENGTH
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TAKES CHARGE NEEDS CLARITY AND HONESTY ASKS QUESTIONS STRONG IN CRISIS/CONFLICT CHARISMATIC PRESENCE BREAKS BOTTLENECKS LEADER AND DEFENDER

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Communication
People with the Communication strength like to explain ideas. When Communicators encounter a new idea, they want to express it and bring that idea to life. They also want to entertain and capture people's attention. Communicators love finding the right story or the right image to express an idea. The Toastmasters organization helps people develop their communication and presentation skills. I have been a part of Toastmasters for the past ten years. It is an incredible organization for anyone who wants to grow their communication and leadership skills. Communicators are often wordsmiths. They love vocabulary and like to use dramatic, inspiring words, making them, not only great speakers,but great writers, as well. Communicators know how to

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use words to influence, sell, and open your mind. One way a communicator can maximize their strength is to keep a story or quote file. I've been doing this for years. When I have a personal experience that I think is worth sharing, I write it on a three by five card and keep it on file. (Some people keep story or quote files on their computers.) Communicators want and need a sounding board in order to identify which stories are exciting to other people. Having a sounding board for feedback helps a communicator hone and refine their storytelling skills. A book for communicators that I absolutely love is called Money Talks: How to Make a Million as a Speaker by Alan Weiss. He's a skilled speaker and communication consultant, and, in his book he talks about how people with communication and presentation skills need to have a balance of savvy, steak, and sizzle.
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Savvy Communicators can develop their skills by being savvy about what makes a great communicator and creates the best connection with an audience— understanding the ins and outs of the communication world. Steak In addition to savvy, you also need steak—content. Make sure you are not only entertaining others but offering something of real substance, something “meaty.” (By the way, that's what Strategic individuals are looking for—content.) Sizzle Most communicators are great at finding sizzle— taking that steak and pouring a delicious mushroom sauce on it. My wife is a wonderful, gourmet cook,
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and she creates the best sauces. Last night we had grilled Rosemary chicken and she made this incredible lemon zest cream sauce that made the chicken sizzle, come alive. It was a delight to eat because it was so savory and flavorful—that's exactly what people with Communication strengths do, they create a sizzle that draws you in and makes you want to “taste” more of what they are selling or communicating. Communicators are also highly skilled at conversation. But communicators need to remember to actively listen and take care not monopolize conversation by talking in excess. If you are in a relationship with a Communicator, you know they love storytelling but sometimes one can feel like shouting, “Would you really listen to what I have to say?” Good communicators must be conscious of
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this. One should keep in mind that Communicators are often willing to communicate on behalf of an organization or cause for a fee—or free. They are excellent choices to be company spokespeople and are often willing to speak up for their family or friends—at no cost. At the same time, Communicators can monetize their strengths by developing their skills as professional speakers. The National Speakers Association, like Toastmasters, helps Communicators develop their presentation skills.

REVIEWING THE COMMUNICATION STRENGTH
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LIKES TO EXPLAIN/EXPRESS BRINGS STORY TO LIFE SHORT ATTENTION SPAN WORDSMITH/SPEAKER/WRITER 172

NEEDS A SOUNDING BOARD GREAT CONVERSATIONALIST SPOKESPERSON

Competition
People with the Competition strength love a good yardstick. And Competitors also thrive when they have someone provides with a which to compete. stick for Competition measuring

monitoring one's growth. Competitors are forever on the lookout for someone to compete with—other people who can help them be their best. Individuals with the Competition strength should look for mentors—someone who has “been there, done that” and can challenge them to continue accomplishing bigger and better things. Because of their love for Competition, individuals with this
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strength tend to gravitate towards the sports arena. Competition is my #5 strength. I grew up playing football, tennis, and golf and I can testify to how energized I feel by a battle or “tug of war” of sorts. Of course, Competition is not limited to sports. Toastmasters, for example, has competitive speaking events. Every year, individuals go head to head in the world championship of public speaking. Others find opportunities for competition in the workplace. Currently, I am the president of the Business Network International. BNI has three teams competing against each other for the most business referrals, new visitors, and best meeting attendance. And the competitors on these teams absolutely love the opportunity. Let me clarify—competitors are not competitively inclined so they can show up other people or have bragging rights. Such behavior would
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be an overuse of this strength. Competitors love competition because they believe it facilitates excellence in themselves and others. If you have Competitors on your team, take advantage of their insights on the strategies you can use to win and get ahead in your current venture. If you are trying to win over a market in the community, people with the Competition strength will look to what other people are doing successfully and identify the advantage that will allow your interest to get ahead. Utilize the competitors on your team. They will help you excel. Individuals with the Competition achievements. strength They enjoy like measuring their trophies, certificates,

medals—recognition. They want to hear, “You win! You succeed!” Without positive feedback, a win is less satisfying for a competitor. However, Individuals with the Competition
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strength often have a difficult time handling a loss or defeat and tend not to give up. When a competitor loses, he or she will usually do one of two things: 1. Figure out what to do to win 2. Quit and accept that it's not a strength area. Seth Godin's book, The Dip, is a great read for individuals with the Competition strength because it explores when to quit and when to keep going. Godin maintains that it is important to quit—sometimes— in order not to waste one's time and energy on a weakness. Most Competitors don't have a problem quitting things they are not passionate about and changing over to something that inspires and excites them. Because it is so easy to move from one competition to the next, Competitors must learn how to celebrate their wins, which is often where a coach
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steps in. If you have people on your team with the Competition strength, help them to find the areas where they can excel and win. Remember to celebrate their wins, focusing on what caused them to win, and how they did it. When I coach Competitors, I love to ask them to tell me about their successes and victories: “Tell me a story about a big win.” Then I focus on what caused the individual to be a winner in that situation, what strengths, strategies, and skills led them to victory. That's when, many times, the light bulbs go on in their heads because they have discovered which winning strategies caused their success.

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REVIEWING THE COMPETITION STRENGTH
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ROOTED IN COMPARISON NEEDS A YARDSTICK LOVES OTHER COMPETITORS WANTS TO BE THE BEST LOOKING FOR THE WINNING EDGE LEARNS FROM WINS

Maximizer
Maximizers are motivated by excellence more than trying to improve weaknesses. Maximizers are not interested in problem solving. They want to take something good and tweak it until it's great. That's how Maximizers earned the nickname “pearl divers.” Maximizers dive deep, find a pearl that is already developing, and polish it. Then, they mount that
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pearl in a beautiful setting and make it look like a million bucks. Maximizers can seem discriminatory because they dislike spending time with people focused on negativity. Maximizers want to surround themselves with people focused on excellence. Thus, Maximizers are not ideally suited to be therapists because therapists typically address weaknesses. A coach, on the other hand, focuses on strengths, making coaching a better career fit for a Maximizer. Maximizers are also adept at building teams and helping people discover and polish their strengths. They make great managers, mentors, and coaches because they know how to maximize an organization's assets. However, Maximizers must be careful not to overuse their strength to the point that they deny their own weaknesses or the weaknesses of the individuals in their organization. Another
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challenge for Maximizers is discussing painful topics. Recently, I was having a discussion with an individual with the Maximizer strength about a friend who suffered a heart attack and he interrupted me: “Let's not talk about this anymore. It's too sad.” This individual also happens to be a writer—he loves tweaking and polishing other people's writing but is not comfortable discussing inherently negative topics. Maximizers and individuals with the Restorative strength make great teams because the Maximizer can hand off problems to the restorer. And because Maximizers gravitate towards success and excellence, they usually enjoy metrics, making them the perfect partners for individuals with the Analytical strength who can help develop a measuring system to allow the Maximizer to rate his or her excellence.

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REVIEWING THE MAXIMIZER STRENGTH
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MOTIVATED BY EXCELLENCE PEARL DIVER REPELLED BY NEGATIVITY DISLIKES PROBLEM SOLVING PREFERS FIXING THINGS FOCUSED ON STRENGTHS

Self-Assurance
Self-Assurance is a lot like self-confidence. Individuals with the strength of Self-Assurance possess an “I can do it! I am able!” mindset. Whereas most people spend their lives wondering if they are “good enough,” the person with the Self-Assurance strength believes in his or her abilities and is confident in his or her decisions. As a result of this
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certainty, Self-Assured people are very independent. Instead of second guessing or doubting themselves, individuals with the strength of Self-Assurance often question other people who disagree with their prescribed solution. People with the strength of SelfAssurance should be careful not overuse their strength, which can make them come across as haughty and self-righteous. When a person's Self-Assurance is balanced, they can be very influential, almost contagious. Others are drawn to a Self-Assured person's sense of security. My best friend is extremely self-assured— it's one of his top five strengths and he balances it well. Sure of himself, he has thrown out the rule book and gone from selling ghostwritten books for $5,000 to landing projects for $150,000 a book. And he has discovered that there is no one else who does it quite like him. He has his own strategy, his own goals, and,
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most impressively, he continues forging ahead without ever flinching. Self-Assured individuals run the risk of becoming work-a-holics who fail to balance their relationships, becoming loners because of their hyper-independence. Because people with the SelfAssurance strength are always trying to be at the top of the heap, they have to work extra hard not to alienate themselves from others. At the same time, Self-Assured people should be encouraged to set those ambitious goals, to “go for it,” because their high degree of persistence often results in success. Made to be mentors, individuals with the strength of Self-Assurance are excellent sources of stability and inspiration for people who lack self-confidence. Like the keel of a ship, Self-Assured people drive individuals and organizations to perform better.

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REVIEWING THE SELF-ASSURANCE STRENGTH
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SELF-CONFIDENT ABLE MINDSET LIKES INDEPENDENCE AURA OF CERTAINTY DOESN'T SECOND GUESS SELF CONTAGIOUS SPIRIT AMBITIOUS GOAL SETTER

Significance
One of my clients is a young guy with a Bachelor's degree in Business and he has the strength of Significance. Individuals with this strength desire recognition and approval. They don't mind the limelight. In fact, they love the thrill of the stage. People with the strength of Significance are
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very goal-oriented. They want to stand out. They want a positive reputation. At the same time, this keen awareness of what other people think can be a hindrance because the individual with Significance may fret about what others are thinking instead of having confidence in themselves. Everybody has a need for significance, a desire to be important, to gain approval and recognition of their value in a relationship or organization. People of Significance tend to be big talkers. They have big goals, big dreams. But they need to make sure that their performance—what they are actually living and doing—matches what comes out of their mouth. Many times, the young man I coach struggles with the fear of failure. Despite the strength of Significance, he suffers from a lack of selfconfidence. He worries that he will not live up to his father or be as successful as his peers. People of
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Significance often fear that they are not going to achieve as much—be as significant—as someone else. Thus, people of Significance must seek balance. An individual with the strength of Significance is the one to call in those last few seconds of an important basketball game. People with the Significance strength function well when they are “on the line.” They want to be the person kicking the ball, shooting the basket, making the buzzer, because it gives them a sense of significance.

REVIEWING THE SIGNIFICANCE STRENGTH
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WANTS TO BE RECOGNIZED SEEKS APPROVAL THRIVES ONSTAGE GOAL-ORIENTED WANTS TO STAND OUT 186

FEARS FAILURE AWARE OF OTHERS' PERCEPTIONS

Woo
What in the world is “Woo”? Winning Others Over People with this strength are vivacious, infectious, caring, gregarious people who love to meet and greet. Individuals with Woo have never met a stranger. Strangers are just friends they have yet to meet. People with Woo love connecting with new people. I know a woman with Woo who prides herself on meeting strangers everywhere she goes. She jokes that when she travels and taxi drivers take her from the airport to where she's going, they
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always propose at the end of the trip. People with Woo know how to find common ground with others. They will always remember your name and, oftentimes, they are very humorous, silly, and light-hearted. Never threatening, individuals with Woo have the ability to put you at ease. Others love to listen to individuals with Woo, to be close to them, and people with Woo are often the life of the party. In a serious meeting, they can break the ice, liven things up, and break down walls with their light-hearted humor. However, a relationship risk factor for many individuals with Woo is their tendency to move away from long-term relationships. Woo-ers enjoy the excitement of meeting and greeting someone, winning them over, and then moving on. As a result, they can come across as insincere because their relationships with people lack depth. That makes individuals with Woo
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great matches for people with the Relator strength. Relators are strong at cultivating long-term relationships while people with Woo are great at marketing, networking, and putting people at ease.

REVIEWING THE WOO STRENGTH
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WINNING OTHERS OVER MEETING AND GREETING CONNECTS WITH STRANGERS FINDS COMMON GROUND HUMOROUS LIGHT HEARTED

Each of the different influencing strengths confer unique ways of selling ideas. In some cases, the strength relates to courage, in others it is humorous and light-hearted, but all of these
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strengths are vital for a team's success. If influencing strengths are absent from your top five, don't fret. You can always partner with others and learn from their strengths.

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. Which of the eight influencing strengths do you possess? 2. Which of the eight influencing strengths do you recognize as a weakness? 3. Do any of your family or friends possess one or more of the eight influencing strengths?

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Chapter 7

Building Strong Relationships
“Success can be built on a strong relationship.”
Joshua Micah Marshall

Remember the wheel dogs? The pair of dogs
at the front of sled adept at relationship building? Wheel dogs are the glue of a sledding team—they hold everything together without drama.

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THE WHEEL DOG
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Take a look at the wheel dog in the picture. Notice the position of her ears. She looks approachable and unintimidating—her eyes are looking at you intently, her mouth is open, and it looks as if she is ready to reach out and lick or nuzzle you. You can imagine this dog turning onto her back affectionately, hoping that you will scratch her belly.
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She has a lot in common with individuals who possess relationship building strengths. The nine relationship building strengths are: Adaptability Developer Connectedness Empathy Harmony Includer Individualization Positivity Relator

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The Nine Relationship Strengths
Adaptability
Adapters live in the moment. Very

spontaneous, they prefer to focus on “here and now” rather than thinking long-term. Adapters see life as one choice at a time. People with the strength of Adaptability tend to be very flexible. When sudden detours happen in their work or family life, they remain centered, holding onto their sense of calm. This can be soothing and encouraging to other people who react less favorably in the face of sudden change. My wife has this particular strength and she's an office manager for a cardiologist. Change is
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part of her job description. If someone calls in sick and my wife needs to go in a few hours earlier, she does it with a good attitude because Adaptability is one of her top strengths. If a member of her team wants to hand off a task, my wife doesn't mind. She enjoys pitching in and getting things done for the betterment of the team. Yet, Adapters must remember that there is a time to be flexible and a time to be firm. If Adapters overuse this strength, they may be so focused on the short-term good that they neglect long-term decisions. Others can learn from Adapters by seeing the value in spontaneity. I'm a structured person, but marrying an adapter has helped me to appreciate living in the moment and I enjoy great benefits when I schedule a little spontaneity into my life. Recently I gave the commencement speech at Grayson County College and I left a section of the speech unwritten—I opened
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it up so that I could share whatever was in my heart at the moment. Adapters can maximize this strength by preparing for potential disasters and partnering with an individual with the Focus strength. Works for me! My #1 strength is Focus and one of my wife's top strengths is Adaptability. Focused individuals help adapters identify priorities and stay concentrated on those priorities long-terms. Adapters help focused individuals enjoy the moment and “go with the flow.”

REVIEWING THE ADAPTABILITY STRENGTH
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LIVES IN THE MOMENT MAKES ONE CHOICE AT A TIME FLEXIBLE, CALM, SOOTHING CAN HANDLE CHANGE A GOOD PARTNER WITH FOCUS

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Developer
Developers seek potential in everyone, no matter what the situation, Developers see potential. They believe that people are born with limitless possibilities. If our society was full of caterpillars, Developers would believe that each caterpillar could develop, grow wings, and fly to their destination. Developers are talented at helping individuals and teams discover their potential. When a Developer helps others, they feel genuinely fulfilled. I often recommend to the Developers I coach that they make a list of people whom they have impacted. Such a list will inspire a Developer by forcing him or her to recognize how they have empowered others and made a difference in their lives. After that, I recommend that the Developer make a list of people

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they want to mentor in order to continue honing this strength in the future. Developers can also benefit from identifying the mentors and teachers that have affected their lives and by showing gratitude for each of these individuals. At the same time, Developers run the risk of investing too much time and energy in “lost causes.” In some cases, there are individuals that simply will not sprout wings and fly, no matter how long a Developer works with them and challenges them. It's just not in their genetic makeup. An earthworm will never be a fat, furry caterpillar, much less a butterfly. But Developers can't always see this because they are so focused on possibility. One of the things a Developer can learn is how to mentor in the moment. Mentorship needn't last a lifetime. Developers can still make a lasting impact in the moment without over-committing. Developers are great additions to any team because
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they are so adept at recognizing the progress, achievements, and growth of other team members. People with the development strength help keep morale high because they celebrate development. But Developers must take care not to focus so intently on others that they ignore their own progress. The Developer's own personal development is crucial if he or she is to continue helping others to flourish and succeed.

REVIEWING THE DEVELOPER STRENGTH
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SEES POTENTIAL IN ALL PEOPLE ALIVE WITH POSSIBILITIES GENUINE HELPS OTHERS DISCOVER POTENTIAL

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Connectedness
Individuals with the strength of

Connectedness believe that things happen for a reason—and they will tell you that. Connected people are convinced that there is a reason for everything and believe all people, places, and parts of life are connected. People with the strength of connection often prize their sense of faith and purpose. They value diversity. They are bridge builders—they want to find commonality. People with Connectedness see others as inherently interconnected. There's a story in the StrengthsFinder 2.0 of a psychologist with the strength of Connectedness who, when he sits down to eat a bowl of cereal in the morning, always sees Connectedness. He sees all of the different people

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that are involved in bringing him his bowl of cereal— the farmers in the field, the biochemist who makes the pesticides, the warehouse workers in the food preparation plants, even the marketing team persuading him to buy that particular brand. He sees how everything connects to create his bowl of cereal. People with the Connectedness strength are great leaders on an international scale because of their desire to unify others, especially when Connectedness is paired with the strength of Communication. When that is missing, connected individuals unified benefit to from their partnering or with team. Communicators who can help them explain their vision community Individuals with Connectedness are strong team builders. Every family, every relationship, every workplace needs people with the gift of keeping people connected.
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REVIEWING THE CONNECTEDNESS STRENGTH
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SEES POTENTIAL IN ALL PEOPLE ALIVE WITH POSSIBILITIES GENUINE HELPS OTHERS DISCOVER POTENTIAL

Empathy
I call people with Empathy “emotion

thermometers.” They have an innate ability to tune into the emotional world. And their emotional thermometers can sense both pleasurable and unpleasant emotions. Individuals with empathy see the world through other people's eyes. They may not have experienced the other person's particular

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problem, crisis, or situation but their imagination enables them to understand the other nevertheless. People with Empathy give a voice to the emotional world. Van Goh said that emotions are the captains of our lives. What he was trying to say is that, whether you like emotions or not, your life is influenced by them. And these emotions are like captains. People with Empathy understand Van Goh's famous statement and see how emotions guide people's lives. People are drawn to Empathetic individuals. It's my wife's #1 strength and it's easy to see why her friends, our children, even I am drawn to her because of her innate ability to support you and validate people emotionally. In the film, The Green Mile—a must-see for one and all—the character John Coffey possesses an amazing gift to feel and experience what is happening in other people's hearts and minds. When a child in the film is
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murdered, he feels it—weeping over the child's pain, despite not witnessing the event. Once in jail, he feels the inner lives of other inmates, good or bad. It's even been said that people with Empathy can feel the crowd or the team's heartbeat. They can sense momentum or stagnancy. They know what's going on. Other people are drawn to individuals with Empathy because they feel heard, listened to, and validated. It is an empathetic person's gift—their strength. Yet, Empathetic people must avoid overusing this strength and having what some call a “bleeding heart.” Many times, people with Empathy take on the stress and pain of others in their minds and bodies, leading to burnout because they don't know how to turn the Empathy off and care for themselves. Empathetic people also risk enabling others if they are unable to exercise tough love because of their sense of compassion. Individuals
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with Empathy can sense what's missing on a team or an organization. They are good people to turn to if you need help solving a team problem and want to get a sense of what is going on. Last but not least, Empathetic people are great confidants because of their ability to keep a secret. Many people feel they can share anything with an Empathetic person and Empathetic individuals are skilled at building trust. Empathy is a useful strength in the workplace, not just in a counseling office. Be sure to utilize the Empathetic members of your team.

REVIEWING THE EMPATHY STRENGTH
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EMOTION THERMOMETERS SEES WORLD THROUGH OTHERS' EYES GIVES VOICE TO EMOTION CAN FEEL A CROWD 205

MUST WATCH OUT FOR BURNOUT GOOD CONFIDANT

Harmony
People with the Harmony strength look for ways to avoid conflict and seek opportunities to agree. They dislike fighting and are interested in keeping the peace. For that reason, a Harmonious person will probably not tell you what they are really thinking. Individuals with Harmony will hold their tongue for the sake of agreement because they don't want to rock the boat. Moreover, they believe firmly in equality. For people with the Harmony strength, when you hurt someone else, you hurt yourself. Harmonious individuals are practical, especially in terms of strategic planning and executing difficult tasks. But, when it comes to theory or opinion,
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Harmonious individuals tend to shy away and focus on concrete ways to connect. Harmonious individuals are natural peacemakers. They are adept at helping team members to understand each other and get along better. However many times, other people try to take advantage of a person with the Harmony strength because a Harmonious person avoids confrontation and will compromise to make peace. In order for a Harmonious person to balance their strength, they must defend themselves when they should, especially if someone else is hurting them. For a Harmonious person to learn how to cope with conflict, I recommend various CAREfrontation techniques. CAREfrontation is a system that I developed to deal with conflict and confrontation in a caring fashion. CAREfrontation teaches people how to connect, resolve, and empower in the face of conflict. All Harmonious individuals could benefit
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from a boost in their conflict resolution skills.

REVIEWING THE HARMONY STRENGTH
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LOOKS FOR AGREEMENT DISLIKES CONFLICT PRACTICAL SEES EVERYONE AS SAME PEACEMAKER DOESN'T ROCK BOAT

Includer
People who are Includers love to stretch the circle wider—it's never big enough—because they are adept at being inclusive. Includers dislike thinking of people being left out and often cannot concentrate until everyone is included.
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Not

surprisingly,

Includers are incredibly accepting, non-judgmental people. Individuals with the Includer strength are able to see past a person's flaws and accept them unconditionally. Includers have a tendency to pick up strays. I know an Includer with six adopted pets. It's part of his strength—he doesn't want an animal to be left out in the cold. This applies to people, too. Includers pick up the underdog or the person who may not have a group or cause. Thus, Includers must learn to temper their compassion. There is a limit to how many pets we can have in our home and how many people we can have in our lives. Overusing this strength can make an Includer feel overwhelmed. Includers are good at supporting those who are new to a group or organization. They can take someone by the arm and introduce them to everyone. Includers work networking magic—they are always connecting with others,
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asking

questions,

introducing people to each other, and letting magic happen. In that vein, people with the Includer strength are proficient at finding new markets. If you are trying to identify new areas to explore, ask the Includer. Includers are market savvy. However, one challenge that Includers face is conflict resolution, making them the perfect partner for someone with the Command strength, who typically has the ability to ask tough questions and face conflict head on. I coached an Includer—a mother who struggled to face conflict in her home. Up until we coached together, her tendency was to enable her teenager, who had found himself in legal trouble. She didn't want to exclude him so he got away with things he shouldn't have. To avoid overusing their strength, Includers must learn how to set clear boundaries, harnessing the Command strength. On the positive side, Includers attract others. I once coached a trainer
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who shared that he was able to engage people who were quiet and withdrawn and walk over, make a connection, and help that person feel comfortable. Then, he would draw them into the discussion and include their opinions and ideas in the group. And, remember, if you can learn to include the Includer, you have won their heart, because that's the heart of their strength!

REVIEWING THE INCLUDER STRENGTH
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STRETCHES THE CIRCLE WIDER HATES EXCLUSION ACCEPTING NON-JUDGMENTAL PICKS UP STRAYS HELPS NEW PEOPLE DRAWS PEOPLE IN

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Individualization
Individualization refers to those who love to discover the uniqueness in others. Individualizers believe that each person has his or her own unique, special story. Instead of seeing people's similarities, Individualizers sees differences—things that make other people special. Individualization is my #2 strength and it helps me not only observe people's strengths, but their struggles, too. I remember hearing one person with Individualization say that, when he started hearing people's stories, it was as if balloons popped up over their heads like cartoon characters. The balloons tell me what's going on with them, what they are thinking, what they are feeling, what they

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want. In a way, people with Individualization have an ability to read your mind—what's going on intuitively in your life. They are also quite skilled at reading body language. As people with Individualization get to know your story and your story, they can personalize a plan or strategy to get you from point A to point Z based on your strengths and struggles. That's exactly what I do when I speak or coach individuals, couples, and companies. Recently, I was the keynote speaker at the Grayson County College commencement and I wanted to personalize my speaking to that college. I went there on a tennis scholarship for my very first two years of college before I finished my Bachelor's and my Master's, so I weaved tennis and sport metaphors throughout the speech. In other words, when I'm speaking I can individualize the metaphors to the group or company. I was coaching a couple on their top five
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strengths and how to could use these strengths to deepen their marriage. The husband loved golf, so I used golf metaphors to help him better relate to his wife. Using that language, I could see the “Aha!” moments on his face. I have done this with race cars, pets, cooking. Someone with Individualization is strong at personalizing how they treat each person. They are not fans of the one size fits all approach. People with Individualization can use this strength to unite a diverse team and highlight its individual strengths and struggles to become more effective team.. Individualizers can also help you better understand might the dynamics be of the to personality, understand. thinking, feelings, and behavior of someone that otherwise difficult Individualization can be utilized in coaching, mentoring, speaking, teaching, and growing a business.
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REVIEWING THE INDIVIDUALIZATION STRENGTH
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ONE-OF-A-KIND STORIES OBSERVES STRENGTH FOCUSES ON UNIQUENESS ABLE TO PERSONALIZE TALENTED COACHES TREATS EACH PERSON UNIQUELY

Positivity
Believe it or not, Positivity is another one of my wife's top strengths. Now you know why I married her—she has incredible relationship strengths! People with Positivity are generous with praise and love to smile. They are light-hearted, playful, humorous, and they've got bundles of
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passion, energy, and kindness. But, don't get me wrong—Positive people are not inherently naive— they realize there are crises and challenges in the world but choose to focus on what is right instead of what is wrong. The strength of Positivity helps them to find the good in all situations. People with the strength of Positivity make special events come alive. Birthdays, retirement parties, get togethers of all sorts—Positive individuals enjoy creating events where others laugh, connect, share, and feel good about life. As a result, people are drawn to individuals with Positivity. However, people with Positivity should protect themselves from negaholics or people who see the mine fields instead of the flowers in the garden. Individuals with Positivity should avoid negative people who could potentially drain their energy. It is important to remember that Positive
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people are not always in a “good mood.” My wife may not be feeling great—she may have missed a few hours of sleep and not be in the world's great mood— but she manages to have a Positive demeanor and doesn't bring others down despite how she is feeling. If we are dining at a restaurant and my wife isn't enjoying the food, she will never say it because she doesn't want to dampen anyone else's experience. This can be a strength and a hindrance because Positive people may not open up and share their hurts, challenges, or stresses, internalizing tough emotions. People with Positivity are not interested in changing negative people, they prefer other Positive people. Throw a Positive person into a room full of negative people and they wilt. Throw them into a room full of Positive people with Positive potential and the Positive person will find the spark that will
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light their potential on fire.

REVIEWING THE POSITIVITY STRENGTH
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SMILING GENEROUS WITH PRAISE PASSIONATE AND ENERGETIC FOCUSED ON WHAT IS RIGHT HELPS PEOPLE WITH SPARK

Relator
You may think of the Relator as someone who never met a stranger. Nope. That's Woo—winning others over. People with Woo believe that each stranger is a friend they have yet to meet. But Relators are selective about their relationships. They tend to be more guarded and cautious when they
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first meet people. Relators may not immediately come across as relationship-oriented people because their strength lies in-depth relationships, not shallow connections. Relators are always looking for an excuse to get together with their friends or their colleagues. Genuine relationships fuel them. Relators are not interested in job title, status, “Wow!” They are interested in their relationship with you. Relators are skilled at building better friendships and relationships, not only in their families and friendships but in the workplace, as well. It is important for Relators to find and develop deep, trusted friendships in the workplace. The Gallup Poll's Well Being by Tom Rath demonstrates how people enjoy better well being when they have at least one good friend in the workplace. (And they found that most people hate their boss.) So, if you
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have a great relationship with your boss, your supervisor, or a deep, trusted friendship at work, count yourself blessed—it will improve your well being. People with the Relator strength have the gift of creating loyal, trusting, sharing relationships that will never break. Guess what? My wife has this strength, too. We have been married for over twenty six years (and have known each other for twenty eight) and I always say that any woman who put up with me for twenty eight years has to have some relationship abilities. I appreciate my wife's loyalty and her strengths in our relationship. It comes from being a Relator.

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REVIEWING THE RELATOR STRENGTH
º

SELECTIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS GENUINE CAUTIOUS AT FIRST FUELED BY FRIENDS NOT INTERESTED IN STATUS LOYAL AND TRUSTWORTHY

DISCOVERY QUESTIONS º 1. Which of the nine relationship building strengths do you possess? 2. Which of the nine relationship building strengths do you recognize as a weakness?

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3. Do any of your family or friends possess one or more of the nine relationship building strengths?

Remember, relationship strengths are the glue that holds teams, families, marriages, and friendships together.

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Chapter 8

On the Road With Your Strengths
“Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey.” Alex Noble

When my wife and I

stepped on a dog sled

and headed into the backwoods of Canada, I have to admit we were both a bit leery. Though Jereme had carefully explained the ins and outs of maneuvering a team of dogs through Banff’s beautiful terrain, we were cautious (my wife especially) about putting our
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knowledge into practice. Luckily, as the driver, I trusted the different dogs on my team, their unique roles, and how they could each best help my wife and I reach our destination safe and sound. Discovering your strengths is much like mounting a dog sled for the very first time. By now, you have hopefully taken the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment and measured your top five strengths. And, as Jereme readied my wife and I for our first ride, I hope I have helped prepare you to start using them—familiarizing you with how each of Gallup's thirty four strengths fit together to produce cohesive, efficient teams and happy, functional relationships. Yet, the real test lies in putting your strengths to work—mounting your sled and harnessing each of the four domains of leadership to help you achieve your next goal. I imagine you must feel a bit leery (and excited).
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One of my colleagues and a fellow strengths ambassador has a small sign taped above her desk which reads: “Which strengths am I going to use today?” Looking at these words each day centers her and helps her maintain a strengths based mindset before setting out on the day's “journey.” Now that you are aware of your own top five strengths, it's time to ask yourself: How will I harness my strengths each and every day to help me reach my desired destination? Discovering your strengths allows you to begin accessing and better utilizing your many talents and team members—the dogs on your sled— so you can best respond to the various challenges that await you on your route. But if you want to become a pro like Jereme, discovering your strengths
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is only the beginning.

Harness Your Strengths
In my work as a strengths coach, I lead my clients through seven phases of harnessing their strengths, which make up the basis of my Strengths Coaching System: Measure Your Strengths Strengthen Your Mindset Maximize Your Strengths Strengthen Your Management Monetize Your Strengths Strengthen Your Members Mobilize Your Strengths In my next book, Harness Your Strengths, I
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explore each phase of the Strengths Coaching System in depth, but to help prepare you for the next phase of your journey, allow me to introduce you to the basics of the seven steps: Step #1 - Measure Your Strengths If you are reading this book, you are well on your way to finishing the first phase of harnessing your strengths—measuring your top five them—though, with the measuring strengths

StrengthsFinder 2.0 is just the tip of the iceberg. Once you have discovered your signature strengths, you can dig even deeper by exploring the wide array of supplementary assessments available to help you diversify and define the language you use for your strengths, while also expanding the number of practical techniques you can use to put your talents
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into practice. The VIA Survey, for example, measures character strengths, broadening the context in which you see and use your signature strengths. See the appendix to this book for a complete list of supplementary assessments. Step #2 - Strengthen Your Mindset Strengthening your mindset is all about overcoming the fears and limiting beliefs associated with harnessing your strengths as you mentally prepare yourself for your Iditarod. My wife and I were certainly anxious before taking our first sled ride. We worried about getting hurt, losing control of the sled, careening into the snowy wilderness. And, while some of those fears were well founded, they had a lot in common with the deficiency or weakness based mindset most of us have developed about
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ourselves. So often, when facing a new opportunity or challenge, we prepare for the worst. On the precipice of closing a sales deal, planning a career move, or angling for that next big promotion, we assume we're going to fly off the sled and land in the snow. And this I can't, weakness based mindset predicts our fate. We lose control of the sled because we're so focused on what we can't do, instead of tapping into what we can do and finding others to help us fill in the gaps. A strengths based mindset, on the other hand, prepares and focuses on what you do best. Remember—a successful sled is led by a team of dogs with different talents. Each individual dog plays a valuable, yet distinct role in every trip. Were the driver to focus on what each dog can't do or doesn't do well, he or she would have trouble unifying the team and staying on the trail. To successfully achieve
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your goals, you must mount your own sled with confidence, knowing which strengths will help you round the next bend, leaving your cant’s and don'ts at the lodge. Step #3 - Maximize Your Strengths If a strengths based mindset is the foundation you need to safely hit the trails with your signature strengths, your speed, arrival time, and ability to brace yourself against the inevitable bumps in the road all depend on whether or not you are fully maximizing—getting the most out of—your top five. At the same time, maximizing also means striking a balance with your strengths. (Let's leave the trail and hit the road for a second. When you are driving with your strengths, you ideally should be at cruising speed, not inching or rocketing down the road. Based
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on what you know about your top five strengths, how many miles per hour do you think you are driving with your strengths today?) Maximizing your strengths starts by becoming an expert on your personal top five strengths while seeking guidance from those who share your talents and partnerships with people who you feel can help you better utilize them. Make a list of resources— books, tools, colleagues—that will deepen your understanding of your signature strengths. Consider joining others in a strengths mastermind group. Commit to an attitude of lifetime learning, whether it is through self study, coaching and/or mastermind group work, or higher education. (In my case, I recommend a combination of all three!)

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Step #4 - Strengthen Your Management The next phase of harnessing your strengths is strengthening your management—becoming a strengths based leader. Strengths based leaders know how to maximize their own strengths as well as the strengths of all the members of their team so that each individual experiences more confidence and personal satisfaction on the job and the group as a whole enjoys more overall productivity and profitability (and fewer office wars). By valuing and balancing the unique contributions of each member of their organization, strengths based leaders create cultures of trust and compassion instead of tension and competition. On the trail, his strengths based leadership skills are what make Jereme such a successful sled guide—he knows and respects each dog, what they do best, and their ideal partners.
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Want to be a strengths based leader? Practice Strengthspotting—the act of using informal questions and observations to make an educated guess about someone's strengths. Using the SIGN method from Chapter Two, for example, you can ask your colleagues and team member’s questions that give you a sense of their natural talents. With this in mind, you can begin to adjust your leadership style to bring out the best in every member of your team. Step #5 - Monetize Your Strengths The fifth phase of harnessing your strengths is often one of the most exciting, especially for entrepreneurs, small business owners, and executive teams looking to use their strengths in the workplace. Monetizing your strengths answers the question: How can I hone my marketing message,
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get more leads, and grow my client base so I can make more money? A strengths based marketing and sales approach can transform a business—I've seen it happen. I can't count the number of phone calls and emails I've received from clients celebrating a major sale, new position/promotion, or small business success after tailoring their marketing strategies and sales techniques to their top five strengths. In Harness Your Strengths, I take you stepby-step through the process of making over your marketing strategy so you and the unique benefits you offer can really sparkle, allowing you to reach more potential customers and close more sales. Here's your head start. Ask yourself: What is keeping my ideal client up at 3 AM?

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Think about how your unique combination of strengths can help your ideal client sleep better at night. Whatever the answer, you want your marketing to clearly communicate how you and your services can solve your customer's problems and add value to their life and business. A strengths based marketing approach gives you a language to communicate why your special blend of strengths makes you the best person for the job. Step #6 - Strengthen Your Members A strong emotional loyal business is based on strong customer relationships. They

increase referrals and add value to your services with positive word-of-mouth advertising and glowing testimonials. Securing customers for keeps depends on making authentic, natural connections with your
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signature strengths. My new friend Chip Conley, author of PEAK: How Great Companies Get Their Mojo from Maslow was gracious to share his top five strengths and his vision of how his strengths helped build Joie De Vivre Hospitality into the number one hotel chain for customer service. The research reveals that emotionally engaged customers pay 67% more a year for the service they purchase from you because they feel confidence, integrity, pride, and passion. Step #7 - Mobilize Your Strengths Remember my colleague; the “strengths ambassador” with the phrase “What strengths am I going to use today?” taped above her desk? Having weaved strengths through the various areas of her life, my colleague has now graduated to being a
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strengths model—an “ambassador” as I like to call her—building the strengths culture around her by using her strengths each and every day. The pinnacle of the strengths coaching system is mobilizing your strengths to work, to marriage, to parenting, education, medicine, and eventually the nations. My dream is to train 10,000 strengths ambassadors mobilizing strengths around the world. Harnessing your strengths is a lifestyle, a string of flags on a map, not a single destination. With each trip—each goal—we refine our strengths style, gradually turning into leaders like Jereme who will one day pass the torch, modeling his strengths for a new generation of guides. In my own life, my strengths are always taking me higher and helping me trek further into the future, making me a better mentor and model both for my coaching clients as well as those I love.
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Taking the Next Step
Congratulations, you have discovered your strengths. On the road, they are the keys to your car. On the trail, they are the dogs on your team. In your life, they are the building blocks of your success. Now that you have discovered your unique set of talents, you can take the reins and start to steer your life in the direction of your dreams. So, what are you waiting for? It's time to harness your strengths.

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