Memories

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MEMORIES

“If you take a book with you on a journey, an interesting thing happens: the book begins collecting your memories And forever after you have to only open the book to be back to where you first read it. It will all come back with the very first words: the sights you saw in that place, what it smelled like, the icecream you ate while you were reading it... yes, books are like flypaper– memories cling to the printed page better than anything else.” – Cornelia Funke INKHEART

INTRO The Story Before The Story Memory is the mother of all wisdom. Aeschylus It’s sad to say that mistakes can happen. We humans make a lot of them; we cannot help it. We are, after all, humans. A lot of the time we regret what we do. Sometimes, just sometimes, we make such bad ones that it eats away at us; this is what we call guilt. Some of us feel so guilty we feel the need to take our lives, some of us go see a random person where who we tell our whole lives to just to hear them say that it will be ok, or even some of us turn to drugs. The drugs we turn to range from pot all the way to anti-depressants. Why? Well its simple. We hurt someone. That’s the main reason we feel guilt, when we cause pain to other people. We really wish we can take it back. Some of us are either to stubborn or the person we hurt refuses to talk to us. The rest of us do take it back and are forgiven, or we aren’t. We will always wish we can have a second chance. Most of us never get that. But I did. See, I’m dead. Not a zombie, for that would be a little far-fetched. I’m a spirit, a ghost. But I kept my shape. I’m not a guy with a sheet over his head or an orb. I’m really here, but few can see me. The only ones I know can see me are the one I hurt and there imitate family. I can’t even begin to explain why they can see me while others can’t. Mostly I can’t explain because I don’t know myself. But I stray from the story. I’m weighting this for a few reasons. The first one is to help myself understand what is going on. The second is so the world will understand that mistakes happen and in order to fix them you must take the chance to fix it. If you’re stubborn, you need to get over it. Live your life to the fullest; you never know when it will be taken from you. You might not get a second chance. You need to live your life like you will die tomorrow. Will you die without regrets? This is the question you must always ask yourself. If there is something you want go for it. In fact the words to live by are: seize the day. I suppose in order to write a story I need to be detailed. I have never written a story before. So I really don’t know what to do. My grammar will not be the best. But I will make sure my detail is good. Well let’s face it. How good is a story without detail? I guess before I end this small part I should detail myself and at least reveal my name, right? Well my name is Zek. I am 6 foot, 2 inches, short dark brown hair, glasses, hazel eyes, I do have a small under bite. I am 18 years old. I have a loving father. Or, I had a loving father and mother. I also had an older brother, a younger sister and a younger brother. This doesn’t really feel like the way to start a story. But honestly, how else would you without detailing yourself and telling the reader what’s going on? Personally, in my living days, I really hated the fact that you never really understood what was going on in a lot of books until the end. Ah, listen to me ramble on. Where to start... Well you see, when I died I lost almost all memory of when I was living. All I really remember is what was going on the day I died and how I died. I learned more of what happened in my life as time went on. But we will get to that in due time wont we? I guess the best place to start is from what I have gathered... I was working on this. Trying to tie what happened in my past. Chapter 1 Dying No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. Euripides “You’ve been talking to him behind my back, haven’t you?!” I yelled at Kylie who looked

down like she was hiding something. “Look,” with my eyes blazing I tried to calm down by reaching up my hand and put three fingers on my face in thought. The house echoed with my words. “I do NOT want you talking to your ex. He lied about everything. He broke your heart. He is just getting close to you so he can get you to break up with me!” “Why don’t you ever trust me?!” she yelled back, her blond hair shaking as she said it, “He was my first heartbreak. He was my first love. Okay?! That’s all he is. And talking to him is helping me feel better. Big deal!” she looked up directly into my eyes. Her eyes were beautiful, even when they were filled with anger. She was and always will be beautiful to me. I loved her. I still do. She was my second love. And I have given it my all to be with her. But as you can see, I was jealous. I said and did things to make sure she would not leave. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. She was so perfect. We liked the same things. She was naturally beautiful and cute. Her eyes we so perfect. Her hair was cut just shoulder length. Her hair color was hard to guess for she dyed it ever few weeks. And, she loved me like no one else. This was something that men would kill to have. And I had it at 18. But, I messed it all up. “I am going home for a while,” she said. Kylie lived in Missouri. She was just in Illinois visiting for a bit. We met online. And through texting, it became real. I always did what I can to see her, and she did the same. But we were only 18. *** "HEY! EARTH TO ZEK!" Someone was yelling in my ear. I shook my head and looked around sitting next to me was one of my friends Eathn. He was a bigger set guy. Very stong, he always wore dress pants and a nice shirt to go with it. Always had a smile on his face. "Dude," he said smiling. "I have never met anyone that phases out more then you." "Yeah." I mummbled putting my head down. Hes smile faded a little. "You were thinking of her huh?" he asked softly I looked up and nodded. He sighed and said "Look Zek. She said if you change you guys might get back together. Look at yourself Zek. When you left you were a little wierdo. You came back and you changed more than anyone I have ever seen before." He put up his hand and started ticking things off, "You went back to school and graduated. I mean it was rough because you procrasanted but still you did it." I smiled and looked up. "Yeah I'm the only person you know that can graduate in less then 3 weeks." "Thats true. Well if you would have done it from the start. But no. You had to get one and a half credits in three weeks. That was awsome." he said with a grin. I sat up and patted him on the back. "Well i didnt want one of my good friends to walk all by himself." I said smiling. "Ture i would of had to hurt you. Anyway, I'm not done. You graduated, you got your drivers licens and a car. Even if your car is a pieac." "Hey! My car is not a pice." I said with a grin. He started laughing so hard he was crying. "Ok lets see here," he said holding up his hand and lifting the digits with everything he said. "It's so rusty im afried to kick it cuz my foot will get stuck, it dosent tell you what gear your in, the radio don't work, one of the back seat doors don't open, the pasenger door yells at you when you open it, the windows don't go down." "Ok ok I get it. But dad said i had to get my own car. And thats all i could afford at the time. I refused to take the bus to school." I mummbled. "Yeah i know this. Everytime your car was broken down or something you called me to pick you up. That was a good half a year." he smiled as he said this. "Anyway were was I um, Graduated, licens, car. OH now your in collage suding to become a writer. That itself is something of growing up. Your the only one out of all of our friends to wanna be a writer. Zek your grew up. A lot and whos to say she did the same. And now she wont talk to you at all. Hell she has you blocked on Facebook. Why? Because she hates you."

"She has good reason to hate me." I said voice full of guilt. "OH," he said interseted "Theres parts your not telling me?" "Yes. I did it without thinking." I looked down for a bit "Well I think it was because I was angry. I was talking to her on facebook. I was in one of my moods." Eathn rolled his eyes. "I think thats the only thing that you never grew out of. Your moods. Randomly depressed then it can quickly turn to random anger. In a few hours its gone. Your worse then a girl at times man." "Yes well... Anyway, she got mad at me. After I told her I lied about the suicidle thing. And went ramped. Said I was messed up in the head. Hell maybe shes right. But I hacked her after that. I didnt mean to mess up her hard drive. I guess her computer can't take that kind of pressure. Any way she had to of spent atleast a hundered to fix it. Dude i wouldnt be suprised if she never talks to me agine. But, even though I know I will never be with her agine. Like ever. I can't stop thinking about her." Eathn smiled. "Well I would say go date someone else but you already got that coverd. How many have you dated since you got home?" he asked. I responded softly "13. And every one of them I crushed." He smirked and said "Man whore." "Hey!" I said wrinkiling my brow. "I'm not sleeping with all of them I'm just trying to find someone I can smile with and feel the same about. Its not as easy as it looks trying to find that perfect someone." "Zek," He said softly "I have never dated anyone. And look at me I'm happy." I chuckled and said "Your happy because you never felt what its like. I mean if heaven is real. That is what it feels like." At that time someone else walked up to the table. I forgot that I was at collage waiting for class to start. The lunch room is were I go to think. Generly its empty. So when in there I don't have much noise in the back ground. I looked up to see who was at the table. It was Katie. She was about a head shorter then me . Long blond hair. Hazle eyes. Glasses. A really good smile. And a really good friend. "Your going to be late for class agine Zek." she said giggling. I looked up at the clock and saw that Eathn and I were both late for class. "CRAP!" we both said at the same time and at the same time we jumped up. I grabed my back ran yelling thanks to her as we left. We both ran into class 15min late. At the same time we said "Sorry proffeser for being late." But when we looked up the class was empty and no teacher was there. Only thing on the borde was the words: Work on 20 page story due at the end of the year. Sorry I have a meeting today Langly "Since when did we have to write a paper?" I asked bluntly. "Dude really? He assined this in the biginning of the year. You really don't pay attention in calss do you?" he asked "Yes I do!" I said sternly "I just must have forgot he dosent remind the class." "What are you talking about? He said it after every class so far this year." he repiled laughing "Oh... Well... Shut up. Anyway why are we just standing here? Lets sit down or go back and talk to Katie or something." I said with a bored tone. "You can. But hey I have a question." he said "Shoot" "Why don't you date Katie?" "What do you mean?" "Wow man. You reallllllly don't pay attention. Anyway I am going to go home and work on

my papper. Later man." he said waveing and walking away. I walked out of the collage about to head home. When Katie walked up to be. "Um Zek?" She asked shy "Do you wanna come over and see a movie or something?" I looked at her. I have known she liked me for a long time. But I didnt wanna hurt her like I hurt all the other. She was too good of a friend. "I'm sorry Katie I promised to babysit my little brother today." I lied. "Oh um, ok. Maybe some other time then. Bye." she said as she ran off face all red. I got into my car and sat down ligting up a cig. Thinking why did i lie. Why couldnt I just say I wanna be friends because I don't wanna hurt you? Why can't I just grow up and not hurt people and not lie? I started the car and drove off. Reached behind my seat and grabed a bottle of vodka. *** I swerved the car a little as memories swam through my head. It must have been around three in the morning. I was out on a main street that went through the woods. I was drinking. I think I was drinking to try and remove my guilt. I was completely out of it, and I was driving. I must have been going about 70. I was muttering to myself that I would make her forgive me. It was really foggy I couldn’t see much. I never even saw the turn. Or maybe it was because I was drunk. I really don’t know. What I do know is when I went off the road. I went to press the brake but I hit the gas and went faster. I saw the river before I hit it. Everything seemed to slow down as I hit the water. The front window broke out, and water started to fill the car. I knew I was going to die before I did. But I still tried to unbuckle my seat belt. I remember how cold the water was. It was like a thousand needles were stabbing me. I guess my pores were freaking out. My hands were going numb fast and I couldn’t get my buckle undone. I just sort of sat there letting the water rush up as my car went into the river. Looking forward over the tree tops I could see the moon. And I couldn’t help but to think how wonderful it looked. I held my breath as the water went over my head and the moon wisped away, all I could see after that was my head lights shining down into the darkness. I knew I only had about a minute. My body was giving up from the cold and lack of oxygen. I was going to die soon. And the only thing I could think was the fact that I wish I could have a second chance with her. To make things right again. And I would give anything to get it. Anything... Not a very good choice of words I suppose. But the guilt was that bad. And I got my anything all right. Up above I could hear dim voices. I was staying clam till then. When I heard the voices I panicked. Someone or something was above me in the water. People coming to save me? Or was it something else. To this day I do not know. What I do know is what happened as soon as I heard them. All the air blew out of my lungs. I held that moment for about three seconds. I was thrashing around trying to get air. Then my body inhaled. It is very hard to describe death. You feel nothing. You’re just there in utter darkness. My constant thought was that I wanted to right what was wrong. That I would do anything. I cried for what seemed like hours. Holding my legs witch was still wet from the water. I just kept thinking of the guilt. The sin. The mistake I made. That’s when I saw him. He was about my height, long black hair, dressed very casually. “You say you will give anything for a second chance to right what was wrong?” he said to me. His voice made me jump a bit, it was deep and powerful. I looked around but all I could see was darkness. It was so dark I don’t even know if I turned my head. “YES!” I yelled back my voice cracking a bit from all the crying, “Anything...” Silence for what seemed like forever. “I do not need anything in return,” He said in reply “but for you to learn from this and understand that no matter how many bad things happen you can always fix things. There is always a second chance. Though it may be hidden.” I was speechless. What do you say to a man that walks up to you after you die? Epically after he offers you this. “What do I need to do?” I asked him.

“That is for you to find out and learn.” It replied. Then suddenly there was a flash of light. The darkness was gone. It felt like my body was being torn apart from the inside, but I did not feel pain. Instead I felt fear of what was to become of me. What was happening? I think I was dying again. Truly I do not know. The light was swimming around me like in a movie. Then suddenly I felt nothing. This is where I lost my memory. Memories... The most valuable thing a human can own. It holds everything. From mistakes that you learn from. To friends. And who you are. Your memory is something that you should always hold dear. But I lost mine. The only thing I remembered is what you now know. When the world started to shape I saw clouds. In front of me rushing towards me. Then I saw a city, and it was rushing towards me. I slowly realized that I was falling. I yelled as the ground rushed towards me. Between two buildings the ground stopped. I was floating about two feet from the ground. I was floating. Without giving much time to breath I was hurtled foreword. Through bushes, around a kid playing ball with what looked like his dad. Past a park. Then onto a main road weaving between cars. I realized that I could not yell. Or move I was panicking. What was happening. Into a subdivision. Around a car, past the first street, the second. Turning into the third. Past one, two, three houses. And turning to the third one. Rushing toward it without stopping. Oh my God. I though to myself as I went right though the house into what seemed to be the living room. Than softly what ever was pulling me let me drop softly onto the floor. I landed on all fours. I slowly inhaled “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I yelled. Letting out what I could not before. Eyes wide staring at the rug that I landed on. My breathing uneven and shaking. I herd a gasp and looked up for the first time. And I saw them. There were two people sitting on a couch. One was a man, a little shorter then me with balding red hair and a goatee. He wore glasses. And had a startled look on his face. He was holding hands with a woman that looked a lot younger than him. She was shorter than the man. She had short hair done up that, had to have been dyed for dark roots were showing underneath. Her eyes showed that she also was shocked. I sat back and quickly crawled away from them into a corner by at TV. I was scared I will admit it. My face had to of shown my fear. Breathing quickly and heavy I pressed myself against the wall. The man must have swallowed his fear by this time because he stood up and said “Wh-what are you doing here!” His voice was deep and demanding. I also head a Australian accent in it. Almost like he wasn’t from America. I couldn’t reply. All I could do was stare at him scared my breathing soon changed into shaking breathing. I was so tense from fear that I found it hard to breath. The man was starting to get angry “Get out!” he said demanding with a stern voice. I felt tears whelming up under my eyes. Shaking I got up and rushed to the door but, about three feet before the door I hit something like a wall and fell back. I hit the ground hard. I looked up at the man but he was just standing there eyes wide with what looked like fear and rage. “I said LEAVE!” he shouted walking up to me. He reached down to grab me, but his hand went right though me. I looked down at my chest were his hand is through my body. My eyes went wide and I started shaking. He ripped his hand back and yelled. And I started panicking. I had no idea what was going on. I don’t think I have ever been so scared. The woman seemed to have gathered her self a bit because she started screaming. Then mixed in with all the panic she came downstairs. “MOM! DAD!” she yelled “Are you OK?” She ran down stairs and took one look at me and screamed also. “What are you doing here!” she yelled “I-I-I” I shuddered over my words I was speechless I had no idea what I was doing there “GET OUT” yelled the man who apparently was her father. “Bu-Bu-“ I started to say “He said get out!” screamed the woman who also had to be a parental. Everyone was yelling at me for answers and for me to get out. So I did what any normal person would do. I put my hands

to my ears and yelled as loud as I could. I yelled till I saw that no one was talking or shouting anymore. Than I stopped and looked up at them all “I don’t know why I am here,” I said to them softly tears running down my face “something happened.... something about a second chance.” “Perhaps I can explain.” said a deep voice witch I herd before. As the man I saw just before all this happened walked in out of thin air. In the light I was able to see him more. He was wearing all black from neck to toe. A black trench coat hung over his shoulders. He had skin tight pants on with black boots over them. He had long black hair about past his neck it was pulled past his face so no one can see it and a band tied down his hair around his neck. I looked at him with pure anger. I jumped up to hit him. But he lazily side stepped and I felt to the ground at the dads feet. Who then went to kick me away but his foot went right though my head. And there I lay with wide eyes. The man walked up and stood in the middle of the living room with all eyes on him. “Now, if you will all be so kind as to stay quiet I will explain this... err,” he pondered to find the right word for it. “predicament.” Everyone just stood where they were and I scurried away from the dad and sat in the corner by the TV again. “Good,” he said calmly. “I suppose introductions are in order. I am Z. That is all you need to know about who I am. And all you need to know about what I am is that I am what is call a angle. Demon or good I cannot say. That is all you need to know about me. Believe it or not I am trying to help Zek. By giving him a second chance at life. See he died. Car accident. It happens a lot. I don’t think he remembers much about it. But he was driving way to fast and he was drunk. Do you know why?” he pauses for a response and when no one answers he continues. “ It’s because he was heart broken. Because of you Kylie.” he looks over to Kylie. “But don’t worry no one blames you for braking up with him. Some would even say it was for the better. But see Zek here,” motioning his hand over to Zek. “Is to stubborn to understand what he did wrong. And thus his pain never went away. He never found out how to fix his mistakes.... But, I am here to give him his second chance. All he has to do is learn form his mistakes and live by what he learned. That is all. There are a few catches to it though. First off, only you three can see him.” looking at Kylie, the mom and the dad. “No one else can. So if you talk about him or call the cops. You probably will end up being arrested or something. Second, he has to say with in 30 feet of Kylie. No matter what Kylie does or were she goes, he will be there too. Third, you all must continue with you everyday lives. Nothing is to change. If you do change he will not learn what is needed. Fourth, I took Zeks memories.” he said pointing to his head. “He has no idea who any of you are. I feel the way to learn is to start anew.” He then walks over to Kylie. Who immediately hides behind her father. “You my dear,” he said with a grin. “are to help him with his memories. I don’t mean go telling him everything. Because every time you tell him something that he doesn’t find on his own. I will have to erase his memories again. What I mean by help is that every time a memory comes. You can help clear it up a bit for him. That is all. Understood?” Kylie who was still scared speechless merely nodded. Immediately her parents objected. Shouting. “This is illegal.” “She will not do a thing with him” “She is not a prisoner.” Z put his hand up for silence. “I don’t think this is up to you.” he said looking over to Kylie. “I may hate him, I might not want him anywhere near me... but I still care for him... I will help... but not freely.” she said. Her father and mother looked at her with wonder. “Are you sure?” They both said at the same time. She nodded. Z then walks over to me, crouched over me and whispers in my ear. “Zek, this is your story. This is your second chance to change. No one changes over night. No it takes a while for people to learn big mistakes like this. Don’t mess up your story. Make it worth while.” He stood up and said. “ Zek, remember you are practically a ghost. You can walk though walls. You have a lot of powers now. But what fun would it be if I just tell you?”

Z scans his eyes around everyone. “Any questions?” he asks. Silence. Then her dad takes a step foreword. “We refuse.” he says sternly with his accent it must have been rather hard for Z to take him seriously. “There is no reason to do this. He died on his own accord. A second chance does happen. But no with death. Plus there is no lesson. None to be learned. He is ignorant of other peoples feelings. And has no right at it.” Z taps his chin thinking of the right words. “You have no choice.” he says bluntly. “He will not just disappear. Like I said only the three of you can see him.” I was starting to get annoyed with the fact that they were talking like I wasn’t even here. “You all realize I am right here, don’t you?” I asked but I was ignored. Because her mom chimed in about that time. “There has to be a way to make him go away.” she said with a shaking breath. “This isn’t right to just toss him at us. This isn’t our burden to bear.” Z calmly says. “You’re right this isn’t your burden. Its Zeks. He’s the one dead. Not you. But yes I see what you mean. But don’t worry. He has a time limit to learn what is needed or...” he trails off. “Or what?” chimes in Kylie “Or he will disappear forever.” says Z. Startled I jumped up. “W-w-what?” I said stuttering. “Oh didn’t I tell you. Well forgive me, but you are on a time limit. See your life cannot sustain this more than a year. So if anything,” he says turning to her parents again. “No more than a year.” I closed my eyes and said “So your telling me that if I don’t learn I will die!” I was starting to accept my fate by then. Not like I could just jump up and walk away from this. Z blinked once... twice.. Three times. “No,” he said and I took a sigh of relief. “No you will disappear forever. As is no more. Gone. Poof.” With the poof he made a exploding motion with his hands. Everyone was staring at me then. “Well,” I said taking in all I can so my fear will not show. “Looks like this is going to be a fun year then...” I was trying to put humor in a serious moment. my life was at stake. “Now what?” I asked. Z claps his hands and everyone jumps. “Now for the fun part.” he said excitedly. “See all your memories have to be sparked. Like looking a picture. Or a smell. A movie. Well you get the point. When a memory does spark. You will feel everything you felt. You will see every thing. All in a flash. Happiness, Love, Hate, Heartbreak... everything.” I closed my eyes and tried to calm my mind “Come on Zek. Calm down. So your dead. Big deal. I got a second chance. I get to set things right. And all I have to do is learn a few things it will be easy.” How wrong I was. But I calmed myself enough to say “Ok.” I looked over to Kylie and her parents. “Its not my fault ok?! Stop looking at me like that please.” they were all looking at me with hate. Z slowly made his way back to me. “Before I leave.” he said calmly “I will leave you with one memory. This memory will explain this young girl here.” he said pointing at Kylie who went wide eyes for being singled out. Z then reached on hand toward me. I swallowed my fear and let him continue. He placed one finger on my four head. And the room vanished... I was on the phone in a small room. The room had one queen sized bed and a small TV that looked like it was not used in some time. The person on the other line was a girl. The voice sounded familiar. “It’s your choice.” I said in a calm grim voice. I was pacing back and fourth. “Everyone wants us to end,” said the girl “ my mom, my friends... everyone.” her voice was shaking she I could tell she didn’t want to do what she was about to do. “Its your choice,” was all I could say tears forming under my eyes. “I love you.” “What you did, what you lied about. Everything was stupid. I even told my mom everything.” my stomach dropped as she said the words said. I could tell she was crying. “Its over.”

she said plainly. The tears were falling down my eyes. “Ok.” was all I could say. “I lo...” she started to say. But I hung up the phone before she could finish. The pain in my chest was importable. It felt like I was missing something I couldn’t find. It was the most painful thing a human can feel. And I was feeling it ten fold. A big set man walks up to me. “This Zek is my vengeance. This is me getting even with you. Your lucky I don’t want to go to jail or this would have ended differently.” My pain quickly turned into anger. And I looked at him in the eyes. “ Ron...” I mumbled. Without thinking I leaned my whole body into a hit and it landed square in the face. I could feel his nose brake under my knuckles. He fell on his back. The room shook from the force of the fall. “I no longer have anything because of you,” I said standing over him with my fist clinched. Shaking with anger. “I blame you. I am not afraid to go to jail. I have nothing because of you. Nothing.” with that I walked away. So much anger. So much pain. Nothing was getting in my way anymore. What did I care? I had no one. I wanted everyone to feel the same pain as I did. I walked back into the small room and took out a suit case. I pile in a small amount of clothing. Digging around the room I found pictures of me and a girl. The girl was Kylie. We were all dressed up like we were going to prom. “Kylie...” I mumbled to myself as tears started falling again. Digging around some more. I found a sweater jacket that she left for me. So I would always just have to hold it if I missed her. I carefully folded the jacket around the pictures and put them in the suit case. I then get a trash bag and start tossing in things I don’t need. She gave me a bracelet that I had around my wrist. Blocking the memories of that day I took it off and tossed it into the trash. Then went back to tossing trash. I was going though a bunch of loose papers when I found a hand made paper box. It was covered with I love yours. It was filled with 62 reasons why Kylie loved me. I took one out and read it. “For making prom a night of a life time.” I put it back in the box and held back all the pain and tossed it. I didn’t want anything with memories. None. I just wanted this all to go away, I wanted the pain to stop. Every time I think about her. It was happiness.. Now its just pain. After I finish cleaning. The room looked bear. I took the suit case and sat it by the front door. If I couldn’t get her back I was leaving.... I had to try one last time. I picked up my cell phone and called. No answer. I called again. Still no answer. I try many times, still no answer. I could tell she was ignoring me. So finally I got a hold of her after trying over a dozen times. “What!” she yelled “Kylie,” I said I knew I sounded disparate. “Please rethink this. Please.” but her replay was even more painful then the brake up. She didn’t even sound upset by it. “Its over Zek.” she said calmly. “we are no more” I felt the tears whelming up again. In the back ground I could hear one of her friends yelling. “Tell him to stop throwing a fit and get over himself.” I was mumbling trying not to show my tears. “But I love you Kylie. I can change. No one changes over night. Please. Kylie.” “I already gave you plenty of chances. Its over. I want to be single for a while. And I understand that you love me. I believe you I really do. But if you ever want to be with me you got to mature. You got to grow up and see that this world does not revolve around you. You’re a high school drop out with out a driver’s license. Grow up Zek.” she hung up the phone after that. I was crying so hard I couldn’t breath. So I did what I said I would do if I couldn’t get her back. I was leaving. I needed someone. I needed my dad. So I called up his number. “Hello?” I heard the familiar voice ask. *** I pulled out of the memory and just sat there for a second. Collecting everything that I just saw. Then suddenly it all came to me. The brake up, the phone call, the pain. Oh god the pain was incredible. It wasn’t anything physical no. it was my chest. It felt like I it was missing something. I

fell on all fours and yelled. I wasn’t expecting it to be this harsh. I started crying clutching my chest. I for got there was other people in the room. I didn’t care. I looked down and though blurry eyes I can see drops of blood. My nose was bleeding. “Z..” I mumbled after I calmed down a bit. “What the hell?” “That,” he said calmly "was a memory to get you started. See, I told you it would hurt. But not all of them will hurt. A few might. Not all. Yes.” he seemed to be in his own world as he was talking. “Anyway,” he said clapping his hands. “You seem to have your first memory. Good for you. No I suppose you know that you and Kylie were once together?” I shook my head yes. “Good well that clears up a bit. And now I take my leave.” he took a single step forward and vanished into a wisp. I just stayed there on all fours clutching my chest. No one was moving. It seemed like the minutes turned into hours. Until her mother finally said “Now what?” Kylie stepped foreword. “I...,” she started to say than it seemed like she changed her mind on it and changed what she said to “Zek, what was the memory. If what is happening isn’t a dream. Then helping you is the only way to get rid of you. Now tell me what it was.” I looked up at her. My nose dripping with blood and tears rolling down my eyes. “Our brake up.” I said calmly. She looked away and sighed. “Do you need me to explain it?” she asked sternly like I was in trouble. All I could do was shake my head. “Good,” she said quickly. She looked at her parents and said, “I got to go to work, and I am pretty sure he has to follow. So I guess we are off.” her parents started to revolt but she stopped them before they could say anything. “Look,” she said harshly. “I need this job in order to pay for things like gas and such. If I don’t go I lose it and It took me for ever to get as is. I am going to work and so is he.” With that she turned around and walked out a door I hadn’t noticed. It was next to a stair case I hadn’t noticed. Wait.... I don’t think I explained this right. See in all the rush I had not paid much attention to the house I was in. And a lot of this story is in it so I think I should explain it better. Let’s see: It was a two story house with a basement. Out side it looked really beautiful. With a flower bed and a huge back yard. It was something to stop and look at. The drive way lead right into the garage like any normal house. A few feet in fount of the garage was a path sidewalk that lead to the front door. The front door its self was made of wood, on the inside part of the door there was a oval like glass in it that covered most of the door. The glass was covered in patterns that shaded the inside of the house. Once though the front door there was a door to your left that lead to a bathroom, and a door to the right that lead to the basement. Directly ahead was the living room. The living room spanned about 10 feet to the right for the entrance of the hall way. The little area had a dark green love seat and a side table with magazines next to it in the corner of the room. Next to that was a full couch the same color as the love seat witch went a little longer than it. Next to the couch was a tall lamp. And next to that in the corner was a triangular shelf witch if you opened it, it held a bunch of DVDs. On the other wall across from the entrance was a fire place. The fire place was all white and it looked like it hadn’t been used in a long time. The white bricks around it looked really nice. It had a sandstone front and a marble top. Next to the fireplace in the corner was a tv on a stand. It sat at a crooked angle from the corner so it left a gap behind the TV. To fill in the inside part of the room was a large rug that matched the couches. On top of the rug a few feet from the large couch was a small coffee table. The kitchen was connected to the living room. Not by door but like the wall was missing it was just there. The floor of the kitchen was dull tiles that actually worked with it. The stove top and counter tops were black marble with little shiny specks in it. It drew you away from the dull floors. The counters went from right directly in front of you when you enter the kitchen to the wall where it cornered and went a few more feet till it hit the stove. The stove was and electric one. With a black flat surface and everything. Next to the stove was a refrigerator. It was a two door, with a water and ice dispenser. A few feet next to that was door. Leading to the garage. Now back to the end of the counters was another door. It was the pantry, inside it was food and a garbage can. A few feet in

front of the door was a large table with you could tell it was a nice table but you couldn’t see the top from all the papers. There were chairs around the table that matched it. The wood of the chairs looked like the table. So it was like a matching set. Right behind the table was a glass sliding door that lead outside but it was blocked by the table so no one can use it. Next to the table on the opposite end against the wall, was a hutch that matched the table competing the collection. The hutch had a bunch of plates and knickknacks. I always smiled when I went by it because the nicknacks were pink flamingos. Apparently her mother collected them. The kitchen it self was like a green house it had all sorts of plants. It seemed to bring the room together. It fit well. If you take the stairs upstairs you see a wall. Directly to the right was a bathroom witch must have been Kylies. Directly to the right was a wall witch went 90 degrees and down a hall. The hall led about 30 feet. The wall of the area was covered in family pictures. Some of Kylie, some of her father, her mother, what looked to be her sister and her brother. At the end of the hall was Kylies room, but before Kylies room was another room on the right hand side. It was a spare room it. All the room had in it was a TV, a computer on a steel desk and a futon. The room looked like it was thrown together really quickly. Maybe it was to hide the navy blue carpet. I don’t know. And I don’t care. This room is not of any real importance in this story. Kylies room. It was a lot bigger than the spare. As soon as you enter the door you see bunk beds. Nice ones at that. The frame was made of what looked like polished down oak. The beds themselves looked really soft with red down top blankets on them. Once a few feet inside the room, you had no choice but to look the right. It was a longer room then wider. First thing you notice is the red carpet that lead all the way to the end of the room. To the right a few feet into her room, the room itself dents in about two feet to the right. With in the two foot small area that had dented in she had a collection of small things like tickets and pictures. A little farther down was a closet that I supposed was full of cloths. In the corner of the room she had a arm chair. A small book shelf to the left of it, and to the right was a CD player. Following the corner so now you are facing the end of the room in the corner of that by the window she had a dresser with a mirror on top of it. It was littered with make up and hair styling gels. There was only one room left in the house. And I never entered it. It was directly to the right if you would step out of Kylies room. It was her parents room. I had no reason or intention of ever entering there. And that is the house that I am in. This house held more secretes than it was showing. But yet again I jump ahead of my story. Were was I before I broke off to do a bit of explaining? Oh yes. She was going to work. Once out in the garage she pressed the little button around the door and the garage opened. It was a really sunny day out the. The sun shown on the green grass showed every little detail. Almost like my eyes were better than before but before I could look more. I was pulled away by Kylie who yelled at me to get into the car or she would just drive off. Not wanted to get drug around town I walked up to it. It was a long silver Volvo. It was a old model. I don’t really know car or I would tell you the model. Well I walked over to the passengers side and reached for the handle and... my hand went right though. I seem to have forgotten that I was a ghost. I brought my hand up to eye level and blinked a few times, sighed and walked thought he door and sat down. I looked over to Kylie who looked shocked at the fact that I just walked though a door. “I think I am getting use to this.” I said bluntly. She snorted and said “Buckle up, I am not getting a ticket because of you.” I reached of the belt and tried to grab it a good twelve times before I remembered that I go though things and no one can see me. I made a sarcastic grin and looked over at her “Ha Ha, very funny.” “Made me feel better.” she said smiling. With that she started the car and drove off. Chapter 2 Prom Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? Richard Bach

A few days later things start to settle down. I think they grew use to the fact that I am here and they can't do anything about it. Every morning they did the same thing and ignored me like I can just disappear give me enough time. Her father came down stairs to make coffee soon followed by her mother. They drank a little coffee not talking much till they kissed and said there good byes. Her mother went to work to clean houses. And her father went down stairs he worked with a business over seas so he was on the computer most of the day. At least that’s what I think his job was. Kat on the other hand always was on the move. If she wasn’t at a friends she was at college. And in the evening due to recent events she had to be at home at a certain time. Witch made her furies. She was use to coming and going as she pleased. But, this particular night I was rather happy she was home. For some reason I was drawn to her. I couldn’t help it. I enjoyed being around her. I don’t know why, because every time I saw her I felt the pain of the brake up. But she still hated me. I could feel it. It was odd. I could feel what ever she was feeling. And this night, I was happy she couldn’t feel what I was feeling. It was late and everyone had gone to bed. Kylie would not let me in her room. And I would not dare go into her parents room. I don’t sleep. I don’t think any ghosts do. I don’t really know. I just sit and wait. Or wander the house, but I can't wonder much or there dog will start to bark. It would be a really bad thing to wake up her parents. I was sitting at the coffee table in the living room. Trying to pick up a pencil that was sitting on it. Focuse. I kept repeating that in my mind, but every time I went to pinch the pencil my index and thumb would just go right though it. Screw this. I thought to myself angly. I stood up frustrated and walked to the far said of the couch and sat down on it. Wait. How could I sit on a couch ride in a car, but not be able to pick up a pencil. No sooner did i think it did my body fall down though th couch. Only my head and my legs were visible. It must have been a sight to see. "Son of a---" I started to mumble, but other words cut me off.. "Hey Zek." It wisperd in my ear. I looked up to see Z standing infrunt of me. Without saying a word he reached out his hand and helped me up. I stood next to him and noticed something I hadn't before, he was the same hight as me. You don't see many people the same hight as me. "What do you want?" I asked in a harsh voice "Well," He replied camly "no need to be snipy. I came to see how things are going." "Things are go-" I started to say but a noies upstairs stopped me. "We can not talk I do not wanna wake anyone up." "Then just think the words." said a voice in my head. I looked over to Z. Sometimes it really sucked that I couldnt see his face. "Yes Zek i can hear your thoughts." His voice in my head sounded like something I should liston to. "Umm, ok then. uh, first off why are you here... again?" I asked. "Because I been watching you. You know the other day when I was explaing everything. I noticed something. You are a cry baby. I mean dang. Your dead so you cry. You get scared so you cry. Your wake from a memory.... You cry." he said this so bluntly I thought he was joking at first, but as i started to think about it i noticed he was right. I cry and pout alot. It seemd that if things did not go my way I would cry or pout about it. "So. I cry a bit big deal." I said trying to hold my ground. "No. Not just a bit. A lot." again being blunt. He was starting to get on my nerves. "SHUT UP!" I didn't wanna hear him critisize me. "I'm just saying you need to talk to Kylie more, and thats kinda hard when you cry about every little thing. You are 18 years old Zek its time to grow up." He patted me on the back, and if I could see hes face I would know he was smiling. I sat down and though about it. He was right I do cry about everything. I do need to grow up and it was time I did. I looked up at him and noded "Your right, I will do better." "Its not me that you have to prove this to it yourself and Kylie." this time his tone was diffrent. Almost like he was caring. "and now i think its time you picked up that pencil." he

motioned his hand over to the coffee table. I looked down at it. "I can't i been trying for the past few days." He chuckled out loud. "You been trying. Thats why you failed. Think about this. When you got mad and walked away you sat on the couch right? Well you thought about it and fell though right?" By reaction of what Z said I jumped up I didnt wanna fall though again. "Wait a mineot. Whats stoping me from falling though the floor to?" "NO!!!" I heard Z yell in my mind at the last second as I sliped though the floor boards. I was falling fast down to the basment. The cemnt ground was coming ever closer. I reached my arm up in a depret atempt to stop my fall but i kept falling. I was though the concreat now all that was around me was dirt and darkness. Before my hand sunk into the dark dephs of the earth something grabed me and pulled me up. The world came back to me. I looked up as my head came out of the earth and concreat floor and I saw Z pulling me up. "Don't you ever learn you foolish kid?! You just when though a coutch cuz you thought about it! What does that tell you." He was some how calm holding me up in the air. I would have fallin forever if he hadnt cought me. "Wait... I thought about it... Thats is isnt it? If i don't think about it like when i was alive I can touch. I was thinking about it when I got into the car that day and I wasnt thinking about it when I sat down." I was shocked by my own thinking. I just figured out something that I was trying to do for days. I was exsatic. Z slowly let me drop to the ground and i stood there. I tilted my head and looked at him over the top of my glasses and smiled and i knew he was smileing back. *** Morning, came quickly after that I was able to touch things. I could move things. I couldnt feel anything but I can touch. I was spinning a pencil around when her parents came downstairs. First her mother who pased at the end of the stairs. Then her father who was still a little drowsy. They both just pased and staired. "I am kinda hard to ignore when I can touch things, huh?" I asked calmly. They both nodded at the same time. "Maybe its time we actully talked things though. I am not the same Zek you knew I don't even know what happend yet. I just want to figure things out without you guys always trying make me down. I refuse to lose this. I am not saying Kylie and I will get together ever again, but I do want to try and fix what I broke." "Zek." The mother said softly. "I think we can have a understanding. We will try and get over whatever happend between you two." "What?" said the father. She turned to him sharply. "Yes Shawn hes not going anywere anytime soon. We can atleast think of him as like a room mate. That does not use electricity, water, or food. He is just here." she was very stern with these words. "Loran..." he did not say anything else. But he nodded and walked into the kitchan to make coffee. Loran walked up to me and smiled. "It will be ok Zek. You will get though this. Just do not mind him. He is having a harder time taking in the shock of all of this then I am." With that she turned around to join him in the kitchan. I got her parents to stop ignoring me. It made things so much easier after that. We ended up talking about how they got together. Aperintly they both worked for the same compiny and went to a convinton. It was a pure mircal that they met. See Shawn lived in Alstrilia at the time. I soon learned that he moved there from New Zeland. I am straying from the story agine. So they both ended up at the same convinton. The first night they spent talking, The second they went on a date, and the third before he had to go he proposed. She said yes. Form that day on even if her parents did not like it much they called and talked almost every day. He of course paid the phone bill. What they found by chance was love. Real and pure. I have never seen love like they had. It was something I wanted to give to Kylie. "I came over hear quite often. I remember the first time I went to what Kylie calls the

clubhouse. I got crap from the whole family." Shawn said with a smile holding Loran closer. "What is the Clubhouse?" I asked. "You will see soon enough its almost time to be going there agine. What is today, hun? June 20th?" Lornan asked Shawn tilting her head back so she could see him. "I think so." he said looking at his watch. "That means tommarows Kylies birthday." she said smiling. "Shes truning 19." I stood up and steached a bit. It was odd talking to them. It was as if I somehow missed them, but there was something else I missed even more, and she was walking downstairs. I looked up and saw her standing at the end of the stair case. She looked really tired like she hadnt slept much. her hair was a mess. She was wearing a white over sized shirt and gray baggy sweat pants. I don't think she quite took it in that I was talking to her parents. She seemed way to out of it to even be thinking much. "Mornin." She mumbled as she walked past us and into the kitchan, and headed straight to the pantry. She opend the door and looked inside for a second. Then "Mom? Where is the ceral?" she was so tired it was cute. "I ran out of room so I had to put it on the top shelf hun." Loran said. I watch as she strugaled to reach it. So I stood up and walked over to her. I put my hand on her sholder to tell her I was there and I reached up and brought it down for her. As I handed her the box I saw her face was in shock. "May be we should talk a little for once?" I asked softly. She shook her head and looked at her parents. Who both looked at there watches and said they had to go. That made me smile. We sat down on the coutch together. She was on the far side of me. "So..." she said. "So..." I said back "...I can touch and move things now..." "I can see that..." She repiled she sounded dull and still a bit alseep. This was not a really good conversaiton so I tryed to change it. "The memory that Z gave me. I saw a box that you made. I opend it and read. Something about Prom. I know you can't help me by explaing them, but do you have anything that would maybe help spark them?" I wanted the ackwordness of the conversation to go away, and maybe talking about this will help. She sat there for a minout thinking. She closed her eyes. "I remember Prom." she opend her eyes and smiled at me. "It was something I am never going to forget... I think I do have something that can help." She jumped up and ran down into the basement. When she returned she was holding a picture frame. She held it close. "This was something I thought my mother got rid of, but if anything will spark Prom its this." she turnd the fram over and showed me the picture. It was her and I holding each other. We looked really happy. I reached up and touched the fram and suddendly. I rememberd: It was still few weeks before prom and I was getting excited. I wasn’t going to my prom. But a prom a few hundred miles away in Missouri. It was Kylies Prom I wasn’t living with my family at the time. Instead I was at some friends parents. This was before I got my license we were driving all around trying to get me a suit. Finally we got one. It was a dark one formal but no tux. It was perfect. I wanted everything to be perfect I was scared that she wouldn’t like it. The next place we had to run to was the flower shop witch was on the other side of town so we ran there. I had saved up a few hundred dollars for gas, flowers, the suit (witch we got for free) the rest of the money I was going to spend on Kylie dinner, a movie something. When we got to the flower shop, I remember to this day what I told the lady. “I need a prom corsage. One with daises. White daises. They are her favorite flower. She told me that they make her smile. Also if you could put some yellow babies breath on it as a accent color?” The lady thought it was amazing that a guy my age could remember what Kylie liked. I simply replied “its easy when your in love” A few more weeks later it was prom day. It was about 3am and we had to go. I was to

excited to sleep. I wanted to see Kylie. I wanted to dance the night away. I wanted to hold her. I needed her. So I woke up the person that was driving me. Her name was Sally. She was a really sweet lady. We loaded up the suit and put the corsage in a icebox. I very carefully put it in the back next to the suit. I was so excited we got in the truck and I realized that I for got to pack my bag. So of course I ran back in. I ran to the room I was staying in and started tossing cloths in a bag. Kylie wanted to see me in skinny jeans so I couldn’t forget them. I thought about how I am going to see her soon as I tossed all of this in a bag. I smiled and ran back out to the truck. And we were on our way. The ride was agony. I was going to see Kylie! I must have smoked half a pack of cigarettes to keep calm. The way there was a adventure on its own. About half way there I had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped at a rest stop. And I did my thing. When we left there was a accent about 5 miles down. It was a car that we had been following. If I hadn’t said that I had to go. We would have been in that. Well if course I didn’t care. I was ticked this accent was a delay now I have to wait to see Kylie. I was really ticked. We were there for about half and hour. Just sitting there. I actually got out and walked up to the accident. It was really funny now that I’m thinking about it. Because when I walked up the cops told me to go back to my car. It was kind of awkward. Finally half an hour later the traffic moves and we are on our way. Sally was laughing at me about this. She said I needed to calm down and we will get there. About the time she said that a deer ran across the expressway. I cussed and she swerved and we missed it. I laughed saying that god didn’t want me to go. Well about sun rise we were 2 hours out so of course I had to call Kylie and wake her up. She was all excited. When we drove into O’Fallon I was in a sate of pure excitement. Apparently Kylies father used some of his frequent flyer miles to get us a free hotel room. We drove up to it and I was amazed. It was wonderful looking. It was like a Holiday End on sairoids. We walked in and got our room. I hung up the suit and put the corsage in the little fridge. I sat down on one of the beds. They were amazing too. Pure white down conifers, beds were really soft. It was amazing. What happened next was even more amazing. I spent the day with Kylie. She called when I was in the room. She was on her way over. I was shaking before I made it to the parking lot. When she drove up and got out of the car. I made my way over. My mind was racing. Oh my god this is real. I’m with her. She’s real. Oh my god. When I reached her by her car. All she said was “Hi” and with out thinking I said “Hey” and leaned in for our first kiss. Its hard to describe something remarkable. My heart must have skipped a thousand beats. The world seemed to disappear there was just Kylie and I. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. Not only was this kiss the best kiss I ever had but, it showed me in her personality. The fact that she was fun, funny, and laid back. It showed me that I should never let go of her. And I remember thinking I get to spend the whole day with her. We ran up to the hotel room. Sally wanted a few pictures. We took a really cute on of us standing in front of a wooden TV stand. We looked real happy. Both of us. How could we not. We were together. I was wearing a long T-shirt gray with brown sleeves. She was wearing a white shirt that looked really over sized with a black under shirt. She was smiling with a amazing smile. We left after she was happy with the pictures. *** I pulled out of the memory and the picture came into focuse. I was smileing when before I relized I was. Kylie was looking at me. "Did it work?" she asked courius. I shook my head yes. "It only made it to where we left the hotel room after pictures." She blinked a few times. "Well then come come on lets go." she said as she stood up, sliped on her shoes and walked out to the garage. I jumped up to follow confused on what was going on. When I got into the car and asked she just shushed me. She seemed to be enjoying herself on this. We ended up driving up to a park. It was a nice small park with a playground.. I watched the kids run around. Laughing. They had no worries in the world. I wished life was still that simple. The park had a picknic table with a little tin roof over it. Kylie walked up to it and sat ontop of it. The way she was sitting I rememberd more:

We got into her car and kissed again. It was even better than the first kiss. She asked where I wanted to go. And I told her “I don’t know this town. City. Place. You show me around.” We headed to Wal-Mart we were going to dye my already black dyed hair a lot lighter color. I told her I didn’t think it would work. But we went up to Wal-Mart anyway. We ran in holding hands this was the first time we held hands. It was a amazing feeling. She lead me to the hair products. I of course was distracted by other things. I was nerves and hyper. I was with my girl finally. She was looking down at the dyes and when I kissed her again. This was our first little make-out. She was possibly the best kisser I ever kissed. She grabbed the dye and I we ran to the counter, I bought it and we headed back to the car. We ended up going to a park. One of three that we go to. It was a nice park. I remember there was a small playground and a picnic table under a roof thing. We got out of the car and walked over to the picnic table and I sat on with my back leaning on a 4" by 4" witch held up the roof. She got up right next to me and I put my arm around her. This is a memory I could not forget. This was the first time I held her. It was a extraordinary feeling. My heart felt like it could give out from the missed beats. We talked. Our first conversation we had face to face. We talked about her friends. What we were going to do at prom. What was yet to come with us. This was also the first time I told her I loved her to her face. She smiled and said she loves me to. I remember it was a really sunny day. Hot, at least it was to me. I was wearing the skinny jeans she wonted me to where. They were really warm. So of course I got bored. Mostly because holding her got really hot. But I just said “What else is there to do?” She looked up at me and said “I don’t know what do you want to do?” she kissed me after I asked it. I just smiled and said “I don’t know I don’t live here” she led me through the park, though some woods, past a old creek, and to a old soccer field. To this day I know how to get there. And I only been there twice. Funny the way memories stick. But I stray from the story. We walked hand in hand through the field that was over grown with grass and stray weeds. The sun went over the trees and hit the field making everything look like it came out of a story book. I never told her that it looked this wonderful to me. We reached some old aluminum benches and sat down on them. They were really hot with the sun hitting them. I smiled and looked around a bit. I looked over to her. She was just looking at me smiling. The sun hit her face so perfectly. I can still picture it in my mind. She smiled a way that makes the butterflies in my stomach rage. Eyes blinking lightly behind her cute glasses. Her hair was actually blowing in the wind. It was something that’s really hard to describe what I felt nothing can but the words pure happiness and love. Her breath taking features made me smile. We just looked at each other for what felt like hours. I wish it would have lasted longer. But I had to brake it by saying “What?” She just smiled and said “Nothing” taking her hand and lightly moving my hair out of my eyes. I lit up a cigarette. And we talked. About everything. Stopping now and then to take it all in that this was real, that we are going to prom together. After a little while I suggested that we go to the movies. We planned to go but we got a little distracted. I mean you start to forget things when you waited so long for this. So we headed back holding hands. We walked though the field and I snuck a glance back locking the memories. We let go of our hands to cross the creek. And I was “distracted” by her features, and I kind of stepped on her flip-flop and broke it. She tripped and bit and I caught her. I must have told her I was sorry a hundred times. I felt so bad she took off her flip-flops and told me they were cheap anyway. That we would run home and get other ones. I didn’t want to go to her house and meet her dad just yet. So I pushed that I would buy her new ones. I nagged and nagged till she said ok. And we drove to Old Navy. This was also a moment that’s hard to forget. We pulled into Old Navy. And she said that she was nervous about going in without shoes. I replied “yea because as soon as you walk in they are going to look at your feet right?” she laughed. We got out of the car and headed in I felt even worse as she must have stepped on every damn sharp rock in that parking lot. We ran in holding hands she rushed me to the flip-flops and picked out 2 pair. She said they were 2 for $5. We reached the

counter and I got out my wallet and bought them. Can you see now why I wonted extra money? After we left Old Navy and Kylie put on her new flip-flops. She drove to the movies. The movie we were going to see was 17 Again. I remember that we really didn’t watch the movie much. But we kissed and talked a bit, we were the only couple in the theater. After a few make-outs I asked her if she believed that I can double knot a cherry stem in my mouth yet. She replied with a breathless yes. Finally when we got done with the movie we went back to the hotel room it was getting late and we didn’t have much time. We quickly dyed my hair. Or attempted to. My hair looked real funny with the dye in it. She pulled it all up in a pony-tail looking style to keep it off my shoulders. She laughed a lot. I will always remember her laugh. It was really out there. If you took a picture while she was laughing. It would be something to keep forever. But every good thing must come to a end at some point. At least for a short time. Before we could wait for the dye to set in. Her parents called. It was time for her to go home and get ready for prom. So we said our good-byes and she set off to get ready. She reminded me before she left that the dye has to set in for at least 40 minutes. Forty minutes later she called. Reminding me its time to take the dye out. So I took my shower to get ready. When I got out of the shower I looked and saw that the dye did very little. Lightened it back to my natural hair color: dark brown. I laughed and put on my suit. I sat and waited for about another half and hour. And I called her back. She said it was really wired because she was going to call and ask if I was ready. She had picked up her phone to call me when it rang. So we headed out to her house. The drive to her neighborhood was a easy one. And when we reached it, it was a sight to behold. The houses looked rich and fancy. All of them at least 2 stories high. Grass greener than any grass I had ever seen. It was like they came out of a HGTV show. I can forget thinking that we did not belong here. We had a 91' truck with out a tail gate. And all these houses looked like they had a Corvette in there garages. When we reached her house they were out on there drive way. Her father and her mother were sitting on lawn chairs. Kylie running down her driveway in her dress waving us down. We pulled up and her parents pointed to the side of the road. So Sally pulled up next to the road. *** I pulled out of the memory agine smileing. I looked over at Kylie who seemed happy for once. "This time it ended with me showing up at your house for prom." I said with a real smile on my face. "Well that ones easy on how to get that memory." She walked over to her car and put in a CD. Suddinly loud annoying music filled the air. I coverd my ears, and she switched it off. "Sorry I forgot that you hate rap. Um, here." A song filled the air. I heard this song before. It was Lips of An Angel... This was the first song that we danced to i rememberd everything: I stepped out of the car and her mom and her rushed to greet us. Kylie hugged me and drug me inside. Her dog barked only once and laid back down. We walked in through her garage witch held 2 automobiles her car and a van. I walked through the garage door. I can't say I remember much of what the house looked like at this point. I was more focused on not making a fool of myself in front of her parents. I remember that her kitchen was like a green house. It had like 10 different kinds of plants in it. I didn’t have much time to take it all in when suddenly we were in a blur. Her father introduced himself to me. “Hello mate,” he said with a accent it was like alstrailian I knew he had one Kylie told me before I was still caught a little off guard by it. He was shorter than me by about a foot. He had a goatee witch was red, his hair was cut short and you could see he was balding. His eyes though looked like they seen a lot. Like they would have a lot of stories to tell. “My name is Shawn.” I told him it was nice to meet him as I shook his hand. Her mother came up to me next. “Hey I’m Loran,” she said. She was a very cheery woman. Like she always had a smile but if you made her mad she would ruin your day. She was the same tallness as Shawn but

thinner a lot thinner. She looked younger. And her eyes seemed to be hiding something. Her hair was a bit out there for someone her age. It was dyed blond. I think.... I’m pretty sure... As I said we were rushed. “I’m happy that you are taking Kylie to prom.” I shook her hand and told her you can't be as happy as I am. She handed me the prom tickets and said I should hold on to them because Kylie was sure to lose them. I laughed and put them in the inside jacket pocket. As I did I mumbled to my self. “ Sure give them to the person that loses everything. Ha” but no one herd me. Kylie was standing next to me as I showed her the corsage. Her eyes grew wide with wonder and happiness. She did this little “DEEEEE!” thing as I put it on her wrist smiling. She walked over to her fridge and took out the boutonniere. It was a daisy. She put it in the little button thing on the neck part of my jacket. But she didn’t know how to pin it on so her mom had to come over and help. Next we had pictures to take. Woo hoo right? little did I know that this was just the beginning of my pictures that day. All the pictures that we took at her house were in front of her fireplace. It was only like six pictures. It was cute the first few ones we were being good for her parents. By the time the last few rolled around we were holding hands. I saw the pictures you can see it if you look closely. But it was time to go. So Kylie rushed me out the door. I was thankful that the pictures were done. As we got into the car to drive off Loren shouted out “DO LOTS OF DRUGS! DRINK LOTS! BRING ME BACK SOME!” Kylie shouted back “ALWAYS DO MOM!” and we pulled away. As we were driving Kylie told me that her parents were making ribs for Sally. They were going to keep her entertained for the night. I smiled and said good at least she wont be bored. We apparently had more pictures to take. So we were going to her friends. On the way I had her look at me and smile and I took her picture with my phone. I really was not able to take in how beautiful she looked till then. Her dress was spaghetti straps, with a long black body, it was tied in the back. Her hair was all done up gorgeously. She didn’t have her glasses on. So I was able to see her eyes more clearly. She was positively gorgeous. We were now heading over to her friend Rashel. Her friend had a hearing problem. And because she couldn’t hear she did not talk to well either. I remember that I didn’t understand her much so I didn’t say much to her. She was a very sweet girl. We ended up waiting till two more of her friends showed up. Ray and Tyler. They were a couple also. They looked very cute together. Ray was a bit on the bigger side with a buzz hair cut. Tyler had long straight hair. Though she just had it straightened for prom. It was neutrally really curly. She was a pretty girl. Blond hair. And really out going. First thing she did when she saw me was stick out her tongue. A sign that she wonted to see my tongue ring. I showed her and she loved it. The palace we took the pictures her was in Rashels backyard. She had a lovely back yard. It was really green with a little pond thing in the back corner. This is what we were standing in front of when we took the pictures. We must have taken 2 dozen pictures. Ones with all of us, ones with just couples, ones with just the girls, and ones with just the two guys. When it was finally time to go I, Kylie and her friend Rachel got into Kylies car. I asked if it was time to go to the dance yet. Guess what? No. We had to take more pictures at one more friends house. We were going to one of her friends who’s name was also Ray. Except when I saw this Ray he was tall and shiny. About as tall as me. We only took a few pictures there so I don’t remember much. But when we got back into the car Kylie told me that he was bi. Finally it was time to go to prom. Kylie got on the express way. We were holding hands. Now that I think about it, it was really dangerous she was driving with one hand, no glasses and I did not say anything but she broke on hundred miles per hour. We were there in about 20 minutes. I don’t really remember much about going in. It was sundown. So the sky was pink. We got out of the car and looked for Ray and Tyler. They were not far behind. Ray kept cracking jokes that Kylie was driving way to fast. We walked in, the prom was upstairs. And down stairs there seemed to be a UFC fight going on or something. We did not dally long downstairs. Kylie pulled me upstairs. We had to wait to go in. Tyler found some friends and were talking to them. Kylie showed me to a bunch of random people. Who hugged me and said it was nice to meet me. I greeted them

all the same. Kylie showed me one of her pure gay friends his name was John. I hugged him just to make fun of him. He jumped up and down like a little school girl. It made me smile. I also managed to tick Ray off. But that didn’t last long. It was a slip of the tongue. It makes you feel kind of bad. I did one wrong thing on a perfect day. Ah well. There were a lot of girls at the prom. Kylie pointed out all the “whores” it was really funny how she hated them. When the doors finally opened we all pored in. I handed the lady my tickets and Kylie told her our names and we walked in. It was kind of dark. Dim really. But there were round tables with white table cloths, little candles on all of them. I followed Tyler to a table we all sat down for a bit. Kylie and everyone went to get food. But I was to nervous to eat. I didn’t know a single person that well except for Kylie. So everyone was eating. And I was sitting there entreating myself with a plastic cup. The music started up and we all rushed to the dance floor to dance. I wasn’t any good really. Though I had a lot of fun dancing with her and kissing her when I felt it was right. But on the dance floor Kylie introduced me to more people. Everyone seemed to like me. At least I think they did. I hoped they did for Kylies sake. I really was trying to have them like me. It was time for the slow song. I remember the song. It was: Lips of a angel by Hinder. She wrapped her arms around me and I put my hands on her hips. And we swayed to the music. Talking a little. Then putting our heads together and just held each other. I never wonted to let go. I whispered in her ear “I love you Kylie” she whispered back “I love you too Zek.” and I kissed her we were the only people there in my mind. The lights from the DJ diapered completely as I closed my eyes. We were swaying to the music holding each other. Kissing. Making the memory worth while. A interesting thing happened to me during that kiss. It all hit me. She was real. I was with her. We were at prom. We were dancing. We were kissing. And she loved me as much as I loved her. And I wonted that moment to last forever. We pulled away from the kiss and I was smiling. She rested her head on my chest while I put my arms completely around her, and we danced like that the rest of the song. I never wonted it to end. After the song we walked back to the table and I took off my jacket, loosened my tie and rolled up my selves. Kylie said “AWWWW you look so poopy” (witch was her way of saying I looked really cute) I smiled and hugged her. We went back to the dance floor and danced a few songs. After a bit a song turned on and she got all excited and danced it with her friends. I smiled and watched. I loved watching her happy. And so far all day she was. I was thirsty so I left and got some water. When I came back she said her legs hurt so we went and sat down for a bit. Hours of dancing later I was getting tired so I suggested we leave. So we did. But before we could leave we had to take one picture with all her friends and me. So we got one prom picture and left. We went down and out to the car. we promised to meet her friends at Stake and Shake. But before we went there Kylie and I went and got a hotel room. So we can have to whole night together. Then we ran to Stake and Shake. All her friends were already there. We stayed there a good hour, than had all her friends meet us at the hotel. As far as her parents knew she was staying the night with them. And I was back at the hotel with Sally. When we got back to the hotel just Ray and Tyler showed up. So we played card games and smoked. Till about 1 am. They left then more friends showed up. It was John and Blyth. They ended up talking and watching a movie and Kylie and I fell asleep. It’s a strange thing waking up next to the person you love for the first time. Memories of the night before rush in. And you are in a state of pure joy. But all good things end. Sally called. She said we had to go in a few hours. So Kylie and I left and went to the hotel room. We talked there for a few hours and went to subway. I really was not hungry. But I bought her and I a sub. After a hour. We went to one last park. Where we walked up on a big hill and held each other for one last time till god knows when. She was crying. And I was fighting it back. It wasn’t till. I got into the truck and we pulled away from her was it that I started crying. And I cried the whole way home. *** I pulled out of the memory and put my hand on the car to stedy meself. "Well that worked

ha." I said with a smile. "Hmm, Prom was a lot of fun." she said leaning back in the car closing her eyes. I smiled and got into the car. "You know your right. I do need to grow up. I do need to change." "Where is this comeing from?" she asked smileing turing the car on. I walked over the passangers side of the car and got in. "Well from the best moment of my life to the worst in less then a year... I don't have to understand everything to know that i need to grow up." "Your well on your way Zek" she said smiling at me. We talked the whole way home. When we got home Kylie went up stais to shower and I went over to the couch.. I sat on the floor and leaned back on it. I took 3 deep breaths. Ok Zek,” I thought to myself. “ you can fix this. Just need to think. Prom, a brake up. What went wrong. Was I selfish? Was I a liar? I must have been a liar. That’s what the brake up said. But what? And how do I fix it? Can I fix it? Wow, this is a lot of questions. I just need to calm down. Think clearly.” Chapter 3 Monster It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited. Proverb The next few weeks were going well. I was talking to them. Lourn and Shawn were not compleatly ignoring me any more. Kylie and I were talking a more and more. Her bitrthday went well. She seemed happy about everything she got. But I could tell she was hideing something. I wanted to know. No. I needed to know. There was something else. Myselfish snooping old self was about to pour out, and when I found out what it was. It was not pretty. Indeed I do regreat what happend that day. It was hard to control. I had a monster inside me, and it was aching to eat. This whole thing started like anyday and streached on for weeks. Her parents came downstairs told me good moring. Then Kylie came downstairs and did her morning rutin. She ate something smiled at me said good morning then went upstairs to take a shower. I was happy that we were talking, but something was wrong. I always knew she didnt feel the same tword me. Because i did something to really hurt her. I understood that. But that never stopped me from loving her. She got out of the shower. Got dressed and went into her room turned her music way up. I got up and walked up to her room but before I could knock I heard her talking to someone on the phone. This was something she has never done before I wonderd who she was talking to. She sounded happy. It was a diffrent kind of happy it was a happy that I heard her in during prom. It was the happiness that caring almost loving would bring. I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldnt hear the conversation between the music. All i could hear was her tone. The monster began to stir. Before I could knock or walk in. Z appernd next to me leaning aginst the wall arms folded. "Don't do it Zek." he said with a serous voice. I never heard him like this before. He was like the little annoying voice in the back of my mind. Annoying but familier. "Why? I want to know." I said this calm as i could. How would he know how i feel. He didnt know anything about me. He was just something that is giving me a second chance. He grabed me and slamed me aginst the wall. "You havent found all your memories yet Zek!" He yelled "You don't know how much you hurt people by snooping where you don't belong." The monster inside of me suddenly turnd to Z. "You know nothing on how to truly feel what i feel. YOU WERE NEVER ALIVE! YOU DON'T KNOW LOVE AT ALL!" The music inside the room shut off and we both stopped. Z still had me pinned aginst the wall out side of Kylies room when she open the door. We both looked over at her and yelled. "GO BACK IN THE ROOM!" Her eyes went wide and she slipped inside the room. When we heard the music agine we turned to each other agine.

"I know a lot more about love then you think. I been hurt before. I been shooken up before too." He said this softly and carfuly. Like he was hiding something too. "Why should I trust you!" I yelled. "Who are you to tell me what to do?! Who are you to think you can stop me from doing what I want to do?" With my last word he lost his temper and throw me though Kylies door right before i hit it i let myself slide though. I hit the ground right before her bed. I jumped up before he could swoop in and grab me agine. I turned and put as much force as i could into a hit. It hit him squer in the gut. A odd thing happend then. I felt the pain too. The hit not only sent him down but sent me flying down a floor. I landed in the kitchan with a hard thump. I rolled over and let out a small mone. I looked up to see Z walking down the stairs holding back the pain. "Do... What... You want." He said breathless. "I tryed." with that he fell and before he hit the ground he vanished. I was confused on what happend, I didnt think about it long because the monster inside of me sturid agine. I sat up and put my hand over my stumic from the pain. When i looked up i saw Kylie standing there at the end of the kitchan. She looked scared and worried. "Was that Z?" she asked you could tell she was trying to hide her fear. I nodded. "What was he doing here? Is everything ok?" She asked. I stood up and walked up to her the monster grawled a little. No nothing is ok. Who are you seeing. DON'T HIDE IT. I know you tones. I know you all to well. But I fought it back and mumbled "Everything is fine." before i walked passed her. I didnt even make eye contact. Her parents walked in with her just standing there with a shocked look, and me walking away. "What happend?" Her mother asked. I couldnt blame her. This must have been a really wired thing to walk into. Kylie looked at her mom and just shook her head. "Alright?" said her father. "We have to get going soon Kylie. We are going to the clubhouse a little early this year." She tilted her head. "A little early, we never go before your birthday dad. Why so early?" She asked. As I walked up to them. "It was your fathers idea." she said. "He thinks that being at the clubhouse will help spark some memories for Zek." She looked over and smiled at me. The monster inside me was yelling. I did not smile back. This monster was leaving me with a pain of emptiness in my stomach. "This isnt because I trust or like you," He said pointing a finger at me. "This is because I figure the more memories you get the sooner you can go." His pointing finger was not intimidating. Instead it angered me. It took all I had not to be spiteful at him. Control it. Control it. Control it. I kept thinking it trying not to let something loose that would make things worse. So I just nodded. I had a feeling this was going to be a rough trip. It took about two hours for everyone to pack, another hour for Kylies friend Blyth to show up. Because as she said "She’s practically family. *** I think its time to take a small brake from this story to talk. Or rather I talk to you because I do not think you can talk to me. If you did I would be rather freaked out. Right. I think I want to give you something to think about at this point. I am Zek. And at this point you can tell that I have been though a lot right? All the way from heart break to dying. Not everyone is given a second chance like I was. But see, my problem was the fact that I was to stupid to understand what was truly going on. I must admit I felt really smart when I figured out how to move things. The astonishing thing is what happens later. I just am having problems putting things into words. Remember I am also trying to sort out my memories. And I have been mixing them up a bit. I can tell by reading them. But I cannot seem to get them right. I wish Kylie was here to help me. But she’s not. So I must make do without her. So I must say I am sorry for getting them mixed up. But it is hard placing your memories in the right place after a long enough time. I procrastinated about a year before writing this. I don’t really know why. I just did not feel the need to. That is until I had this digging feeling in my chest like guilt. Any way I am agine straying from the story.

*** Some how, I don't know how but we managed to fit 4 people pluse me in a mini van cramed with about a weeks worth of food and supplys. Her parents in the frunt in the back two seats were Blyth and Kylie. And in the way back on top of a bunch of cloths food and cases was me. I am not going to lie I was really uncoftable. I was in such a position that I had little choice but to liston to Kylies and Blyths conversation. "So this guy you keep talking about who is he? Whats his name?" Asked Blyth. Kylie moved around in her seat uncofterable. The monster in me started to stir. "Just a guy." she replied. "don't hand me that." Blyth said excited. "I wanna know, come on I'm your best friend I'm not going to tell anyone spill. Please?" Kylie sighed and said "His name is Zek." My monster seemed to go away and my heart filled with joy. "Wait! That kid that took you to prom?!" she asked in a harsh tone. "NO!" Kylie responded in a full toned voice. "No. This guy is from the Phillipens. I really like this guy. He makes me happier than anyone has ever done. Hes tall with dark hair. He is really ripped. Oh my god. I get jetters just thinking about him." "As long as its not that jerk." She said as my monster started to rage. Pure anger filled me. "I mean that other Zek. Started out sweet and nice but in the end he was a lier. And just broke your heart. Its a good thing you ended it with him. I think I would have ended up trying to kill him in the end. Such a jerk." You are the bitchiest girl I have ever met. I said in my head. "Yeah..." Kylie replied. "Um dad can we stop at this bank I need some money." I was rather happy when we pulled up to the bank and I got to get out. I just stood up and climbed through the top of the van. My face must have been full of furry. Kaite told Blyth and her parents she will be right back and Kylie and I walked into the bank. "Zek." She said when we are out of ear shot. "Ignore her shes just—" I cut her off before she could finish. "Keep it and get your damn money." I said it more harshly then I ment. I just didnt wanna hear it any longer. I littarly could not see straight out of anger. I could see she was hurt. She droped her head and contenued walking. When we got into the bank there was about 5 or 6 people inside. Standing in line. It was a rather small bank. Small waiting room. About 2 people behind the counter. This place is so small I dout It has a security sysem No sooner had I thought this that 3 people waked in shooting and yelling for people to get down. Everyone dropped. Even me. They walked up to the counter and demanded the money or everyone here will die. I looked up to see that each of the three men held a hand gun of some sort. All of them dressed the same. Rough looking pants a long shirt and jaket. And a ski mask. One of the guys quickly coverd the door to keep and eye out. And in the back corner was Z who walked over to me. "This sorta reminds me of a movie I saw." He said laughing. "anyway what are you doing on the floor. No one can see you." I stood up and dusted off. "Well when people comeing shooting guns you don't really think of it." i looked down at Kylie who was on the ground. "Just stay calm it will be over in a bit." Just then one of the other guys walked over. He seemed to be scaning all the people in the room. He must have been trying to make sure that no one had cell phones. He walked over to Kylie and tilted his head a bit. "Hey boss. We got our selfs a really pertty one here." He said grinning. My monster started to gain strengh. The main guy walked over and looked at Kylie whos eyes were filled with fear. "We will have to take this one with and have some fun later." He said Laughing. Kylie started to cry.

"Z..." I said shaking with anger my monster in contrle. "Yeah?" he said. He also seemed to be holding back something. "Make.. Me.... Visable..." I said shaking. "Just to them...." "Why?" he asked "DO IT NOW!" I yelled. "Ok" he said then disapperd. The guy at the door was the first to notice. "Hey didnt you hear?" he yelled "We said get down." I turned to him shaking with rage. The things they want to do to her. The other Zek. Z. My Death. All theses things that made me angery all these things that I held in. Seemed to come out in a sudden rush. "Make me." I said calmly. "Boss?" the guy asked the main one. "Just shoot him." the main one said. It all happend with in a second. The man shot. I side steped thought about the bullet as a reached out my fist then forgot in the same instent. I opend my hand and droped the lead bullet to the ground. I looked up over the rimms of my glasses face full of anger. The man didnt know what to say or do. I was a good 20 feet away and I reached out not in contral of my body. I lifted my arm and he lifted with it. I swong my arm around and slamed him into the ground. Braking his arm and leg. He yelled in pain and fear. "You.... are.... a.... nucence." I said in a domonic voice that was not mine. I was traped in my head watching this. I couldnt stop it. I thrust my arm forword and hurld him out the door. Just then a cop car pulled up and the man slamed into the winshild of the car. The cop seemd into a panic and was yelling something on his radio. I turned to the guy that first saw Kylie. "You.. said... what... about her?" I asked. "Hey hey man," He said scared. "It was all a joke. Just a joke hah. We wouldnt do anything to her. I mean we didnt know it was your girlfriend." I grind a powerful angry face. "It... is... to... late..." I said in the same voice. My arm reached forword and I picked up the man my his neck. And he started shooting me but the bullets when right though me. I squeezed and squeezed till the struggling man went limp. I tossed his body like a usless toy. And i made my way towrd the main guy. He backed up aginst a way panicked. "You you killed them" he said scared. "No... they... are... alive... but... you... will... die... you... wanted... to... harm... her..." i said domonicly head down at the floor. "No man. No. I wanted to um um." he had no idea what to say. I steped back and reached forword picking him up without tuching him. I flicked my wrist to the right and he slamed into the right wall. Same for the left. Each time he hit he gave out a yell of pain. I held him there in floating. I saw pure fear in his eyes. I rose my arm to slam him one last time and end his life when I heard Kylie yell "ZEK PLEASE STOP!" suddnly I had control. And everything went black as i fell to earth. *** When I passed out a interseting thing happend. I pulled into my mind. And stayed there afried to go anywhere. My mind was really dark. It was just like when i first died. I couldnt help but to think. Did i die agine? I could feel the cold of the water that killed me. And i could feel that i was not alone. My eyes seemd to get use to the darkness in my mind and I saw i was in a small room. I got up and decided to look around. The room was full of litte things that seemed to hold memories. Cds, Books, Ice cream, books. The list goes on. I walked though to rows and rows of memories thinking. Did i live a full life to have all this. Memories and when I seemed to touch them things seemed to come back. The music I liked when i was twelve how i used to run around the house singing it at the top of my lungs. The boomerang i got for my ninth birthday and how i was never

able to get it to come back to me. The car that reminds me of my first kiss. The music the reminds me of my first girlfriend. I was holding a CD when Z walked up to me. I looked up at him and said calmly. "I'm in my mind arint I?" He noded and said "Yup. And its rather dirty in here if you ask me. But hey its your mind not mine. But i do have one complaint. Theres no light in here." I nodded and looked down. "All my light was in my heart it used to fill my body with wormth. But now its gone out. And its because of my stupidety. And now look at this place. No activity at all. I am a blank hollow husk of a human being. I had everything now nothing." Z put his hand on my sholder trying to show some affection. But he also was hallow from what I can tell. "I think you have this all wrong Zek," I looked up interseted. "I think you are letting yourself be hollow. And you are right you light is in your heart. But i think its just really dim. Its still there just blocked. By the screen thats trying to repair your heart. But you wont let it be fixed. Insted you keep ripping it back open... Zek you have atleast two more memories to find before any of this can be over. Your starting to understand now. But there is something i have to show you." He turned around and walked away. I followed without thinking rubbing my chest. He lead me around the room making his way to the back. He went around a another corner and to a clearing were there was nothing but a cage. The cage was ripped open from the inside. The cage floor had a pool of blood on the bottom. There were bloody tracks leading out of the cage. It was three toed. And it had rather large claws coming out of them. I looked at them as the lead into the darkness and as the seemded to disapper they chaged slowly and every step into a human foot. I reached down and touched the blood. It was still warm to the touch. "Why can't I just die? I mean it would be diffrent if i died and became something like a vampire. They are dead right? But no insted I'm a ghost who can only be seen by his ex and her parents who all hate his guts. And, this is were it gets good. Some other person spirt thing tells me i can have another chance at life but i need to learn a lesson before i can come back to life. So he sends me here and takes away my memories of being with her. Then after things seem to look up i have a rage fit were i cannot control my body and almost kill three people only to be stopped by her voice and i wake up here." I said this all with a sarcastic voice. I don't think Z really knows what to do when people are stressed because he just put his hand on my back and said. "Zek, trust me. Your doing better then you think you just are not noticeing the change that i see. Look your not freaking out. Your not crying. You are starting to get along with her. You need to learn to focus on one thing at a time. And right now the thing that you need to look at and take care of is this." "Well Z," I said as calmly as I could. "I'm not fraking out because I am starting to understand the fact that I am dead and I can't just sit back and not do anything. Besides I'm starting to get use to the fact that crazy things are going to happen. But you are right I do need to focuse on one thing at a time so start explaing. What is this?" I stood up and turnd to him crossing my arms. "This," he said motioning his hand "is a cage that was ripped open from the inside." He was so blunt I couldnt help but to laugh. "No." I said "No what was in the cage and how did it get out?" "Oh," he said blinking. "you need to be more spicfic about this kind of stuff. This was the cage that held your monster." "My monster?" I asked. "Well yes. See," He said and started pacing back and fourth pointing his finger in the air during key points. "everyone has a monster. Its just a matter on how strong it is. Monsters get stronger by held in anger. Or derpesson. So very tempermental people have a huge problom because they hold in there anger untill they snap and throw a fit. You on the other hand," he stopped pacing as if trying to figure it out while he was saying this. "you were heart broken and you just put on a fake smile and walked around as if nothing was wrong. You caged up your monster so to speak." With that last sentence he motinoned his hand at the cage. "But when you bottle something up like

that it can kill someone. Or they snap. Hell even angry people write storys, exersie, walk, read, or something to keep there minds off it. But you. You just held it in. And soon after the pain kept coming and going it turend to anger. And your monster fed off this. And grew. So what did you do to supress it. You made a stronger cage. But nothing can be caged up forever you just needed a snapping point. As it built the past few days. You just held it in. Then when they robbers or whatever they were said what they said you snapped. And the cage broke and the monster took over. But since you are dead the monster had full control of your body and aperintly he knows your powers quite well. And hes still lose. Running around somewere in your mind or body. That I have no idea." I sat down on the floor trying to take it all in. "Ok," I said after a deep breath. "What about on the out side world. Whats going on there?" He walked up and leaned on the cage. "Well, I had to wipe a few minds. The police think that a bomb went off and blew them away. The bad guys think the same. So does everyone else that was there. Excpt for Kylie she knows what happend. And shes scared for you Zek. She thinks that you are some kind of monster. I had to tell her that you guys needed to talk. And not to be worried about it. Its a internal battle your having. I had to put you body in the van becasuse no one can touch you. And now everyone is at the clubhouse were they were supposed to go. Eveyone is ignoring what happend. And no one is blaming you. I mean why whould they. Your the reason things are ok... ish..." I stood up next to Z. "Before I go out there," I said in a stern voice "I want you to make it so i can go anywere i please without having to stay by her. I need to fight this thing alone." He rowred with laughter. "Zek," He said. "you could have gone anywere you want anyway. I just said that so they would get the point that you need them to help you. No matter what." "Kay," I said holding in my anger. "Anything else you lie about before i get out of here?" "Nothing of importance." He said as he vanished. I stood there thinking. Then i relized something. "Z, HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?!" I yelled into the darkness. *** When i snaped my eyes open immiditly i could feel it. It was somewere in my chest. And it was filling me with pure anger. I looked around were i was. Still in the van. How ignorent of them, I thought to my self. I had no since of reson, I was so angry. They could have atlest moved me somewhere. It was iractical thinking. I knew it but i didnt care. I got out of the van and walked down the drive way. I didnt even look around i didnt wanna spark a memorie. I wanted to walk untill my feet bleed i wanted to be alone. But i got to the end of the road were i saw a bridge. Not a wooded on or a stone one a bridge for cars to go over with a little stone wall and a small creek going under it. On one side was a chunk of rock. And on the other side was a larger one. It was about twenty foot long and about nine foot wide going down the creek. And there they were laying on the rock tanning by the looks of it. Kylie and Blyth. They were talking and i wanted to know of what. But i didnt wanna be seen or heard so i though I'd try some new powers to see if i can get close. I figured that i could walk on water if i thought about it. Things become solid to me if i dont think about it so if i thoght about water. I would eaither go though it without making a sound or i would walk ontop of it. So i jumped over the bridge. I walked ontop of the water and willed myself to be invisable to everyone. As i walked ontop of the rock i noticed they stopped talking. But Kylies eyes were looking at the clouds. I decided to test to see if i really was invasable so I walked up to her and waved my hand infrunt of her. Nothing. I did the same with Blyth. Same. I sat down at there feet closed my eyes and waited for the conversation to pick back up. "So tell me about this other Zek!" chinmed in Blyths voice to brake the silence at last. "I cannot stand not know who my best friend likes with out knowing the details." Yes, do tell! I said in my mind.

Kylie sat up and rolled her head. She made it look like she was stratching but i knew she was looking to see if i was around. "Well," She said with a school girl grin. "Hes tall and thin, and is tottaly ripped." Oh? And what makes him diffrent from me? Few sit ups and i can be ripped too. I was commintaring everything she said. "Ohh sounds sexy i guess but what do you see in him?" Asked Blyth who sat up excited. She closed her eyes thinking. I couldnt help myself it was as if something was controling. Was it my monster? I still do not know the answer to this. I reached up and put my hand on her head and suddnly i was in her mind. She was imagining she was with him. I could feel her happiness. She was in love with him. He stood next to her. Hair dark black stuck out all in diffrent direction. He wore a studded belt with black shorts and his boxers hanging out. He had no shirt on. So his abbs and chest showed. I couldnt make out his face. Possibly because i didnt wanna see his face. I didnt wanna see the face of the man i wonted dead. He leaned down and and in deep soft tone said "I love you." I could not take it anymore. I pulled my hand away and pulled myself away. My monster was raging. I gripped my chest were i could feel it boiling. And took deep breaths. It subsided a bit. "He," Kylie continued. "he makes me feel loved. He was the first guy to ever tell me im beautiful. That i was the one and only person he cared about. That no matter what he would be there for me. He helped me though everything. Hes everything Zek was and better. Well besideds the lieing part but we worked though that. And now. And now i love him. Blyth. I truly do love him." No. No more.. I wanted to walk away but something held me there. Like i needed to hear this. Like i had no choice but to lison to this. I knew if i stayed my monster will rage. I can not hold him for ever and this. This was making him very very angry. Calm yourself. You need to know. You need to know why it cannot be you. You wernt enough. You will never be enough. My though prosses was making me angry. But i continued to lison. For atleast a little longer. "He sounds wonderful Kylie." Blyth said happily. "He sounds so much better than the prick Zek. You know thats what we should call him for now on. The Prick Zek." With that last sentence lighting stuck not to far off and and it started to pour rain. Kylie and Blyth stood up and booked it to the clubhouse giggleing all the way there. I on the other hand just sat there. Not moving letting the rain pound on me. "Better then me..." I mummbled. "The Prick Zek... " The monster inside me raged and a tree that stood next to the creek uprooted and fell. Though there was no wind. "I will show you what kind of prick i am. Oh i will show you!" with that i stood up. And the monster had control yet agine. But this time it was diffent i wonted it to be in control it was like a drug. I needed it. I loved it. The anger. The power. It all felt wonderful. Then Z apperd. And i wasnt going to take anything from him this time. "Zek," He said with fear in his eyes. "You need to maintain control. You need to calm down." He held up his hand and placed it on my chest as it to calm me down or stop me. I looked over the rims of my glasses that were smudged with rain. And at that second thunder rolled and shook the ground. I grabed his arm and picked him up with one hand. Were is this strengh coming from? I asked myself. But that didnt matter at the time. I held Z there and looked up at his face that was coverd with rain. He was scared. He was standing up to something he was no match for and he knew it. Then it talked using my body and its demonic voice as if voices of adults and children were combined. "I am so sick of you Z. All you do it beat around the truth. You never even told him what happend after he hit the river did you?" A demonic laugh followed. "Or maybe its a good thing. But you could have atlest told him who you are. HAHA!" "He... He dosent need to know yet. Just let him go." Z responded with a shaky voice. "Why should I? He needs to exact it dont he. He wants everyone to feel the pain he felt even himself." My body then throw Z into a tree witch he went though. The tree fell with a thudres crash. Z didnt look to botherd by it and collected himself on the other side by doing a back flip and landing on his feet with no harm done. "Very well." Z said with fear. "Then i will take you out myself." he jumped up and over the trees and sent a firce blow to me. I side steped and he crushed the rock that we were standing on. In

the poring rain water started to collect in the crater that was left from the impact of the punch. "Ohhh this will be fun." Said my body. I jabed forword and Z doged. Moving his sholders with the rythem of the movements. Every kick every punch was doged. As if he knew what was coming. Faster and faster. This went Z backing his way to the edge of the rock. And when his feet touched the edge of the rock. He vanished. My body looked around for him and saw him on the shore by a clearing with only a few trees. Before we could move Z rised his arm as if picking something heavy up. And the rock lifited into the air. My eyes went wide with rage. KILL HIM! I scremed in my head. This power was so enjoyable. Z rised his other hand and pulled his arms apart to a wing span. And the rock split in two. I knew what was going to happen before it did. MOVE! I yelled at my body. And it obayed. Suddenly i was standing behind Z as if i teleported. And at that second Z claped his hands and the rock smashed together and crumbled into a million little pices. Z quickly turend and grabed my arm forcing up my back. "Zek," He said sternly "Cool OFF!" and kicked me into the the creek. As i hit the water and began to sank. I started to feel the anger go away. But Kylies words came back to me. I love him. And with that the monster took contol. The water around me boiled as i rised. Out of it and floted about three feet above the water. Z stood there then reached behind him for the uprooted tree and lifted it without touching it. He turned to me and made a throwing motion as if throwing a javiln and sent it hurtaling tword me. My body reached out and grabed it before it hit us. It turned it around and throw it back at him. Z isnt as fast as i aperintly am. And it hit him. And my body felt as it got hit by a truck. I felt pain that i have never felt before. But the monster seemed to ignor it. It reached for the tree and tossed it away as it was a twig. Then it teleported to Z. My body rised a arm and cuped the hand and Z rised into the air. And was choking. Suddenly i could feel the pain he felt. But my body refused to let go. My body walked up to Z lighitng the grip so Z could talk. "Tell him!" It scremed. "Zek," Z said brethless. "only you can stop this. You dont wanna die forever. There are to many things out there for you. What about your friends. And family. You can go back to your old life. But this time knowing that you are diffrent without a thing in the world to hold you back." "NO!" My body scramed and tossed Z aside. But he was right i was the only one that can stop this. Then the guilt hit. This monster inside me. Just tried to kill one of my only friends in this world that i am stuck in. And he was right i didnt wanna die. I had so many things to live for. Suddenly Kylie, Eathen, Mom, Dad, my borthers and sister swam though my head. NO! No i will not have it end like this. I will finish this trial. I will come back. And i will defeat you. I suddenly forced control of my arm and reached inside my chest were it was sturing and creating control. I could hear Z in the back ground yelling for me to stop. But i did not care. I wanted this thing out of me. I forced my hand into my chest and grabed it. With all my might i pulled. Hard. The pain was intence. It felt like someone was littarly ripping apart at my soul. Like I was really about to die. But i held on, i took the pain. Dark waves seemed to seep out were i was pulling. I felt my leggs start to give way. I staggerd back but held on to it. The darkness made it impossible to see but i could still feel the rain hit me on the head. I could feel the cold drops start to warm up as the ran down my face. I could hear Z yelling for me to stop. But still i pulled. I knew it was almost to weak to hold on to my body when the pain started to subside. Or maybe i just go use to it. That i have no idea. I fell to my knees pulling at it. Almost there! I kept yelling in my head. And i was when the darkness waves pourd out faster then anything. It must have been a sight to see a man on his knees with his hand in his chest struggling to pull something out and waves of darkness that looked like long thick starnds of hair. Then suddenly it all happend at once. My hand pulled out. It with it and i fell to my hands looking down at the ground struggling to keep my eyes open. I slowly looked up to see this thing face to face and what i saw was something that i could never forget. It scared me more then anything i have ever seen so far. I brought my head up and looked over the rims of my glasses because my glasses were to smudged from the rain. And i saw the bullerd out line of what seemed to be a tall man but i could

not get a clear look at him beacuse i cannot see far without my glasees. So I took off my glasses and stood up while wiping the water off of them. I put them back on and the world seemed to clear up a bit. And what i saw was not a monster. It was me, but before I could really get a good look. Or think about what I saw. Darkness took over. Chapter 4 Reseraction We continue to shine, long after we burn out Eric (Santa) Klaus Empty darkness. That's all I could see. I was alone where ever I was. Alone. And I knew that this is where I belonged, and always would. The pain in my chest was gone but now I felt empty and incompleat. I wasnt in this darkness for more then 5 minots when the voices started up. "She is happier without you. She dosnt love you anymore. You will never be with her. I bet she dosnt even think about you any more." The pain in my chest grew. The pain of heartbrake. And somehow I knew the voices were right. Shes gone from my life. Forever and always will be. But I cant let her go. I never can let her go. So I just layed there listoning to the voices. It was a good hour before Z came in. He came in and sat down next to me. "Zek." he satarted. "No. Zack." he used my real name. Not my nickname. It has been a long time since someone called me that. It was confeting in a way. "this is your true mind. Not your memories. This is what is going on in YOUR mind. You are saying this. Nothing else. And you let them be right. You over think things there is still time to fix what is wrong. You have memories to get. And things to fight. Battles to win. People to win back. And things to learn. You cant stay here in this part of your mind." Even though he wasnt looking at me. I knew he was scared. I felt in in his voice. As if my existance and my pain brings him pain. I looked over at him. "Why?" I asked. "Why wont it stop? Why wont he pain go away?" tears started to come to my eyes. "I have treid everything. And just when I though progress was being made. It all comes crashing down agine. Why?" I could feel the warm tears streaking down my face. Z sighed. "Zack its because we only fall in love once in our lives. Yes we might say we love someone else. And we might feel like we love them. But do we? No. We only feel true love once in our lives and yours is her. And thats why you cant let her go. Thats why you would do anything to be with her. Hell I would bet you would try to wright a book for her if you could. Zack there is only one thing you can do. And its not giving up. Why? Because I will not let you. I will never let you give up. I care about you. I want to see you pull though this with victory." I shook my head. "I dont have what it takes Z. I mean, yeah I would do anything for her. And yeah I want her back. But i cant do this. I cant." I looked down. "I am not as strong as you think i am. Just seeing her makes my chest expload. She is the girl. She is the one for me. And its so hard to go on with out her. And being her with her... It makes things so hard." Z just sighed as if he didnt know what to say. The pain in my chest started to turn into anger. Then they came back. "She dosnt love me. And never will. Shes with someone else now. Im just the annying little prick in her side." The voices started getting louder and louder. Finnaly I snaped. I looked up and said back to the voices. "You may be right. But untill I know for sure I am not just gunna sit here. I am going to get up and do something about it. So repeat what you want no I will just learn to ignre you. And sooner or later you will drown out. And sooner or later you will be wrong." Z said nothing just sat there as if waiting for something. Then the voices replied. "Good Luck." "Z." I said quickly. So Quickly that he jumped. "Explain something to me. What did I pull out of me? What is that thing? Why did it look like me? And what do i need to do about it?"

Z sat there thinking for a bit then camly replied. "What you pulled out of yourself was in a sence you. It is your Wrath. Your anger your first deadly sin. Yes deadly sin. Belive it or not they make up our souls. They form who we are. Some of use show ours a lot more then othes. Your sins are throwing a fit. Yours seem to want out. And you let one out. Or more like pulled it out. But anyway. You still have six more of them inside you. But to face them you must first deal with this one. I must say he is a lot stronger then I though he would be." I looked at him with a blank expersson. "So besides getting my memories back, heart torn out everyday, and learning new powers. I have to fight myself?" "Yeah that about sums it up." He said in a cheerful voice. "I hate you... So much." I said back "I know. Anyway," He said getting up. "Are you ready? There is no saying what you are doing up there." "Wait me?" I replied in a questioning voice. "I am here. Whats up there isnt me." Z shook his head. "No its you. Your Wrath is up there. He looks like you and has your anger. He is you and people are gunna think its you. So you better wake up and do something about it." ****

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