Preaching on Divorce and Remarriage

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12/8/2014

7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

7 Biblical Biblical Helps for Preaching on Divorce D ivorce and Remarriage Kevin DeYoung more from this author » TheGospelCoalition/Blogs

Date Published: 12/8/2014 Published: 12/8/2014

Tags: Divorce, Divorce &  Tags: Divorce, Remarriage, P reaching,Prin reaching,Principles ciples (add tag) Scripture:  Mark 10:1-10:12 Scripture: Sugge st Scr Scripture ipture

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There are a co upl uple eo off chal challlenges that mak make e preaching on divorce and remarriage especial espe cially ly di difficul fficult. t. O One ne c chal hallenge lenge is that there are so many legi legitimate timate approac approaches hes I could take with this sermon.

Kevin DeYoung: "The hard thing is to take a few biblical principles about marriage, divorce and remarriage and then try to apply them  prayerfully and wisely to a thousand diff erent  situations."  Email this article Print Friendly

I co coul uld d make the sermo n a w warni arning: ng:  “Marriage  “Marri age iis s sacred sacred.. R Remember emember your vows. Jesus n never ever en enco cour uraged aged di divorce. vorce. So don’t do it.” I could llegi egitimatel timately y preach this way because the we weiight of the New Testament Testam ent fall falls s o n the side of warnin warning g agai against nst di divo vorce. rce. Butt I coul Bu could d al also so use the sermon to tal talk k about G God’s od’s co mpassi mpassio o n for those who have been hurt in marriage, or those left behind in marriage, or those sinned against in marriage. I co coul uld d take tthe he sermo n iin n a di different fferent di direction rection and encourage tho those se w who ho have sinned in divorce or sinned in remarriage to repent and receive God’s merciful fo forgi rgiveness. veness. I could al also so take m mo o re o off a theo theollo gi gical cal app approac roach h and try to explai explain n the acceptable grounds for divorce and remarriage, asking questions like: Are there any justifi justifiabl able e reaso ns fo forr di divo vorce? rce? If so, w what hat ar are e they? A And nd if you may get divorced un under der certain ci circumstances, rcumstances, w what hat abo about ut remarriag remarriage? e? I wish I had time to go deep pastorally and theologically in all these way, but I  just can’t iin n one ser sermo mon. n. There are as many scenarios as there are couples in the world. How do we know kn ow w hat’s right in each situati situatio o n, especi especial allly w when hen so many o f the s scenari cenario os have no parallel iin n Scr Scriipture pture? ? The simple thing is to turn a blind eye to divorce in th the e church. Jus Justt pretend iitt do doesn’t esn’t happen. D Do o n’t ask peo pl ple e abo about ut iit. t. Don’t bring bri ng iitt up. Do Don’t n’t s say ay anything du durin ring gam mem embership bership iinterview nterview.. The hard tthi hing ng is to take a few biblical principles about marriage, divorce and remarriage and then try to t o appl apply y tthem hem prayerful prayerfullly and w wiisely to a tho thousand usand di different fferent situati situatio o ns.

Seven Principl P rinciples es Let me give you seven biblical principles on divorce and remarriage. 1. Marriage is the sacred union between one man and one woman and God’s intention is for marriage to last a lifetime. Look at Mark 10:1-12:  And  An dh he e left there a and nd wen wentt to th the e reg region ion of Judea and beyon beyond d th the e Jord Jordan, an, and  dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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12/8/2014

7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

crowds gathered to him again. An And d again, as was his custo custom, m, he taught them.  And  An d Ph Pharisees arisees came up and in ord order er to test him ask asked, ed, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They  said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her  away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. com mandment. But from the beginn beginning ing of c creation, reation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold  fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. fles h. What therefore God has joined together, let not man se separate.”  parate.”   And in the h  And house ouse th the e disci disciples ples a asked sked him a again gain abou aboutt thi this s matter. An And dh he e said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery  against her, and if she divorces her husband an and d marries another, she com commits mits adultery.”  This was a trap. The Pharisees were not genuinely inquiring of Jesus’ position. They wanted to test him and make him look bad. Everyone in Judaism agreed that divorce was permissible. You can read all the same scholarly stuff I’ve been reading readi ng an and d the sam same e Jew ish docume documents nts and see tthat hat peo peopl ple eo on n al alll si sides des o off the divorce issue agree first century Judaism allowed for divorce, even required it in some so me situ situations. ations. The Phari Pharisees sees certain certainlly all allo o we wed d fo forr di divo vorce, rce, and as w we’ll e’ll see in a moment, probably for a lot of reasons. But they have a suspicion that Jesus will be stricter. Maybe they heard his teaching in the Sermon on the Mount. Maybe they t hey just assume he wil willl b be e st stri rict. ct. May Maybe be they w want ant to get hi him m in troubl trouble e with Herod, who w ho already already kil killled Jo John hn the Bapti Baptist st fo r o objectin bjecting g to hi his s divorce. Whatever the reason, they are setting a trap. Like Like a goo d teacher, Jesus answ answers ers their q question uestion with a questi questio o n. “What di did d Moses say?” “Well,” they answer, “Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife.”  They’re thinki thinking ng of Deutero Deuteronom nomy y2 24, 4, w whi hich ch we we’ll ’ll co come me back to in a min minute. ute. Jesus doesn’t reject Moses’ teaching, but he recasts it. “Yes, Moses allowed for divo divorce. rce. But thi this sw was as a co concession ncession to human si sin. n. Certain Certainlly no nott a requi requirement. rement. The law was making the best of a bad situation.” Then Jesus takes them back to the very beginning. “Deuteronomy gives Moses a concession, but Genesis gives God’s intention. Marriage is one man and one woman. The two become one flesh. They leave their family behind and this new family takes priority over all other allegiances except to God. Marriage is a sacred union. God himself joins the couple together. And what God puts together, no one should separate.”  The main thi thing Jesus w wants ants to say abo about ut di divo vorce rce is thi this: s: do don’t n’t do it. IIt’s t’s no nott God’s intention for marriage. It’s not what you promised before God and a room full of witnesses. In fact, Jesus says pretty flatly in verses 11-12, anyone who divorces husband or wife and remarries someone else commits adultery. Why? Because the divorce shouldn’t have happened in the first place. There’s no reason reaso n thi this s man and w wo o man sho shoul uldn’t dn’t stil stilll b be em marri arried. ed. So for tthem hem to be married marri ed to so someo meo ne else, pr presumably esumably havi having ng sex w wiith so someo meo ne else, iis s li like ke committin co mmitting g adul adultery. tery. Yo You u may be sleepi sleeping ng with som someo eone ne who is yo ur h husban usband d or w wiife, but yo you u aren’t sleepi sleeping ng with the perso person n who stil stilll sh sho o ul uld d be yo ur hu husband sband or wi w ife. Before we see anything else about divorce and remarriage we have to feel the dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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12/8/2014

7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

we ight of what JJesus wei esus is sayin saying. g. Th The e Phari Pharisees sees want tto o talk about acc acceptabl eptable e reasons for a divorce. Jesus wants to talk about the sanctity of marriage. They want to talk about when a marriage can be broken. He wants to talk about why marriages shouldn’t be broken. If all you hear are the reasons a marriage covenant might be broken, it’s like learning to fly by practicing your crash landings or training for battle by practicing your retreats. Whatever exceptions there might be, the main thing is that marriage is supposed to be permanent. 2. Divorce is not always sinful. Is eve every ry di divo vorce rcenot thealways pro product duct o off sin sin? ? Yes. IIs s eve every di divo vorce rce therefo therefore re sin sinful ful? ? are No No.. so That’s why it’s a fair comparison to ry say, “Look, you Christians worked up about homosexuality, but you don’t do anything about divorce.”  Certainly, Certainl y, Chri Christian stians s have to too o o ften turned a bl bliind eye tto o di divo vorce, rce, but the situations situ ations are different different because divo divorce, rce, unl unliike hom homo o sexuali sexuality, ty, is no nott always wrong. Think of the Christmas story. When Joseph, who was engaged to Mary, found that she was with child, the text says that “Because Joseph was a righteous man he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” The first thing we notice is that Joseph had to divorce Mary even though they were only engaged. Jewish betrothals were legally binding in the first century. Leaving that aside, we also see that Jo seph wasquietness co consi nsidered dered ri righteous ghteous r di divo vorci rcing ngdidn’t her qu qui ietly.to Hereflect iis s commended for the mostly, but fo the divorce seem badly badl yo on n Jo Joseph. seph. Mary, iitt w was as tho though ught, t, had com committed mitted sexual iimmo mmo ral raliity, and so Joseph Jo seph was co consi nsidered dered ri righteous ghteous fo r di divo vorci rcing ng her qu quiietly. We also see in some Old Testament texts that the Lord divorced his people. For example, Jeremiah 3:8 says, “I gave faith faithlless Israel her certifi certificate cate o f divorce and sent her away aw ay because o f all her adul adulteries.” teries.” Go God’s d’s peo peopl ple ew were ere spiri spiritual tual adulterers and so the Lord, after putting up with them for generations, finally said, “Enough, you’ve broken the covenant for the last time. Here’s your certificate of divorce. Be gone.” Now, the love story is that God still woos his wayward way ward bri bride de back to himself, himself, welcom welcomiing h her er hom home ew when hen she turn turns s and repents. But if if the Lo Lord rd can di divo vorce rce his adu adulltero terous us spo spouse, use, then di divo vorce rce m must ust not always be wrong. w rong. One other thing to note is that marriage is not indissoluble. This means marriage really can end. Now, usually they shouldn’t. But they can. The covenant can be severed. When Jesus says, “What God has joined together, let no man separate” he impl impliies that tthe he co coupl uple ec can an be s separated. eparated. I menti mentio o n thi this s bec because ause sometimes people will argue against remarriage, saying “She’s still married in God’s eyes.” I don’t think that’s the right way to talk about the situation. Divo Divorced rced co coupl uples es are divo divorced. rced. They are not marri married ed in Go God’s d’s eyes eyes.. The qu question estion is whether they should still be married and hence, they ought not to be with another man or w wom oman. an. 3. Divorce is permitted, but not required, on the ground of sexual immorality. We need to look at a few different passages, starting with Deuteronomy 24:14. dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of  divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, 2 and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her  hand and and sends her out of his hou house, se, or if the latte latterr man dies, who took her to be his wife, wife , 4 then her fformer ormer husban husband, d, wh who o sent her away, may not take her  again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your  God is giving you for an inh inheritance. eritance. The key phr phrase ase is in verse 1 1:: “s “so o met methi hing ng iindecent” ndecent” ((erwath erwath dabar ). ). It’s It’s a very ambiguous ambig uous phrase, and the Jew Jews s argued about it co nstantl nstantly. y. The phrase iis s actuallly used in a chapter earli actual earlier er in D Deutero euteronom nomy y2 23:1 3:12-1 2-14: 4: You shall s hall have a place outside the c camp, amp, and you shall go out to it. And you shall have a trowel with your tools, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it and turn b back ack and cover up your excrem excrement. ent. Because the LORD your God walks walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your  enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy, so that he may not see anything anythin g indecent among you and turn away ffrom rom you. can see dabar   means  means in general something repulsive, something iYou ndecent. IIt’s t’sthat not erwath a precise phrase. Because o f this ambig ambigui uity, ty, tw o di different fferent rabbinical schools emerged. On one side was the more conservative Shammai schoo scho o l, and on tthe he o other, ther, the mo more re li liberal beral Hi Hilllel schoo schooll, bot both h we welll know known n around the time of Jesus. The Mishna records: The School of Shammai says: A man may not divorce his wife unless he has f oun ound d unch unchastity astity in her, for it is written, Because he hath found in her ind indecency  ecency  in anything. And the School of Hillel says: [He may divorce her] even if she spoiled a dish for him, for f or it is writte written, n, Because he hath found in h her er indecency  in anything. They referred to the same verse, but Shammai emphasized “indecency” and Hillel emphasized “anything.” Jesus is going to side squarely with the more conservative school. Turn to Matthew 19. This is the same incident we read about earl earliier in Mark. The Phari Pharisees sees have co me to test Jesus. They specifi specificall cally y ask him about the grounds for divorce and what Moses commanded in Deuteronomy Deuterono my 24 24.. But notice Jesus’ w o rds here are a bit di different. fferent. Th They ey incl include ude an exception in verse 9: “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness [ por  porneia neia], ], and marries another woman commits adultery [moichaomai  [moichaomai ]].” .” Divorce is not allowed for any reason whatsoever (like Hilllel said), o Hil onl nly y fo r m marital arital un unfaithful faithfulness ness (like (like Shamm Shammai ai said). Sexual sin breaks the marriage marriage co venant because sex is the o ath sig signi ning ng of tthe he co covenant. venant. Havi Having ng sexual experiences experiences w wiith so someo meo ne o other ther than your spo spouse use is lliike trying to s siign on someone else’s dotted line. That breaks the covenant and is a ground for divorce. Divorce is still not required, but it is allowed. Of co urse, al alll th thiis raises the question: w why hy does Matt Matthew hew incl include ude the exception clause when Mark doesn’t? Some people have argued that Matthew’s gospel dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

isn’t talking about sex during marriage, but sex before marriage. In first century Judaism Judai sm a betro betrothal thal was legal legallly bin bindi ding. ng. Th That’s at’s why Jo Joseph seph was going to di divo vorce rce Mary after aft er he fo foun und do out ut she w was as w wiith chi chilld. Th They ey w were ere o onl nly y engaged at the time, but even breaking breaking o off ff an engagement requi required red a divorce. So the theo theory ry is that Matthew records these words so his readers will be clear that Joseph wasn’t doing anything wrong when he planned to divorce Mary for what seemed to be fornication. Some Christians I really respect hold to this view, but I don’t think it will work. For starters, the question from the Pharisees revolves around Deuteronomy 24, which was not about betrothal. Second, the word por word porneia neia is a broad word that includes all kinds of sexual sin, not just sex before marriage while engaged. And besides, Matthew 1 never uses the word por word porneia neia to describe Mary’s supposed sin, and nothing in Matthew 19 explicitly ties the situation back to Mary and Joseph. So how do we und understand erstand thi this—Matt s—Matthew hew incl includes udes the exce excepti ptio o n, whi whille Mark and Luke don’t? do n’t? Remem Remember ber these are parall parallel el acco accoun unts. ts. They are desc descri ribi bing ng the same event. You could say that Matthew added something to Jesus’ words, but isn’t is easier to a assume ssume M Mark ark and Lu Luke ke left so somethin mething go out? ut? And why wo ul uld d they leave the exception out? Because they wanted the saying to be more memo mem o rabl rable? e? Perhaps. But I th thiink the basic reaso reason n they left o out ut the ex exception ception is because it was w as already a gi given. ven. No o ne in Judai Judaism sm di disagreed sagreed that divorce was acceptable on o n grounds of sexual iimm mmo o ral raliity. Ma Mark rk and Luke di didn’t dn’t have to include Jesus’ exception because they figured it was a given. It’s like when Jesus said, “If your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and go be reconciled first” (Matt. 5:23-24). We naturally assume Jesus means “If  your yo ur brother has so methin mething g llegi egitimate timate again against st y yo o u,” u,” because Jesus didn didn’t ’t go tracking down everyone who was upset with him. In the same way, when Mark records “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her” the implied assumption is “Whoever divorces his wife without cause…” I bel beliieve Je Jesus sus spok spoke e the exception clau clause. se. Matt Matthew hew in inclu cluded ded iitt to be clear, whil while M Mark ark and Luke left iitt o ut because tthey hey tho though ughtt it w was as already a given. 4. Divorce is permitted, but not required, on the ground of desertion by an unbelieving spouse. Turn to 1 C Co o ri rinthi nthians ans 7. Let’s pick pick tthi hings ngs up at verse 8 8.. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with p passion. assion. Paul would like everyone to stay as they are (cf. 17, 20), but if they have to marry, then go ahead and marry. That’s what w hat he says to the sin singl gles es and widows. This is what he says to the married. 10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not  separate from f rom her husban husband. d. Paul is saying, “This is not my own rule. I got this from Jesus.” (But if she does, dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband) and the husband should not divorce his wife. So if someone does get wrongly divorced, they should try to be reconciled with their spouse or stay single. They should not remarry after an illegitimate divorce. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the L Lord ord): ): He means, “This command is not from the lips of Jesus himself, but it’s still a command you need to follow.”  ...that ...that if any brother has a wife who is an un unbeliever, believer, and she consents to live with him, he should should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husban husband d who is an unbeliever, unb eliever, and he consents to live with her, sh she e should not divorce him. 14 For  the unbelieving husban husband d is m made ade holy because of his wife wife,, and the unb unbelieving elieving wife is m made ade holy because of her hu husband. sband. Otherwi Otherwise se y your our child children ren would b be e unclean,, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unb unclean unbelieving elieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called  you to peace. peace . 16 For how do you kn know, ow, wife, whether you will save y your  our  husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?  Here’s the t he seco nd gr gro o un und d fo forr a divorce: desertion by an unbel unbeliievin eving g spo spouse. use. Now , we should try to live a att peace with an un unbel beliievin eving g spo spouse. use. After all all,, Go God d may save your spouse through you. Reconciliation is still the ideal. But if the unbeli unb eliever ever refuses to live w wiith yo you u and lleaves, eaves, let hi him m do so so.. You are no nott bo bound und to be married when your unbel unbeliievin eving g spouse deserts yo u. The traditional traditional Pr Pro o test testant ant pos posiition—the pos posiition w wri ritten tten do down wn in the Westmiinster Co nfessi Westm nfessio o n and hel held d by mo st evangel evangeliicals—i cals—is s tthat hat di divo vorce rce is permissibl permi ssible e o n tw two o grounds: sexual iimmo mmo ral raliity and desertion. In bot both h case the marriage marri age co covenant venant is severed. IIn no one ne case, bec because ause sex sexual ual inti ntimacy macy has taken place with another. And in the second case, because the spouse just plain isn’t there. Let me just add that I am sympathetic to and yet extremely cautious about finding other grounds for divorce. On the one hand, I think it’s possible that God did did not mean to give give us ev every ery po possibl ssible e grounds fo forr di divo vorce rce in th the e New Testament. Testam ent. Jesus gave o ne and Paul (admi (admittedly, ttedly, un under der the inspi inspirati ratio on o off the Holy Spiri Spirit)m t)menti entio o ned another o ne relevant to the C Co o ri rinthi nthian an situ situation. ation. So migh mightt there be one or two other grounds for divorce? Perhaps. And yet, if you say that you yo u open up a Pandora’s box o f tro troubl uble. e. Peo Peopl ple ew wiill ar argue gue that psychological abuse is a ground and emotional neglect is a ground and maybe terrible terribl e unhappi unhappiness ness is a gro ground und fo forr divorc divorce. e. I thin think k it is s safer afer bi bibl blical ically ly to maintain that there are tw two o acceptable grounds for divorce. But havi having ng sai said d that, I could envision envi sion in extreme s siituatio tuatio ns the elders migh mightt co ncl nclude: ude: “Thi “This sm man an (o (orr w wo o man) has not no t c co o mpletel mpletely y disappeared bu butt his li life fe is tantam tantamo o un untt to t o desertion.” IIff a guy is strung out on drugs, gambling all their worldly possessions and has repeatedly beaten his wife, might that count as desertion at some point? This is why each case needs to be dealt with individually. It’s also why we need biblical principles, so we have something to apply in these gut-wrenching, difficult sinful scenarios. dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

5. When the divorce was not permissible, permissible, any subsequent remarriage (to someone other than the original spouse) results in adultery. We’ve already seen Jesus make this point in Mark 10. If you are illegitimately divorced, then the remarriage is also illegitimate. This doesn’t mean you aren’t really divorced and you aren’t really remarried. It means you shouldn’t have been divo divorced. rced. The co covenant venant hadn hadn’t ’t bee been n broken and sho shoul uldn’t dn’t have been severed. Consequently, you shouldn’t be married to someone other than your o ri rigi ginal nal spo spouse. use. And that means if yo you u are remarried that new sexual relationship is sinful. So what do you do if you are already in a sinful second marriage? I’ll come back to that in the last point. 6. In situations where the divorce was permissible, remarriage is also permissible. Now what abo about ut remarri remarriage? age? Remarri Remarriage age is cl clearl early y all allo o we wed d after a spo use di dies es (Romans (Ro mans 7 7:3) :3).. But what abo about ut after a bibl bibliicall cally y sanctioned di divo vorce? rce? Let m me e give you a few reasons why I think remarriage is permissible. First, I think grammatically it is more likely that the exception clause in Matthew 19 modified both verbs. In other words, when Jesus says “except for marital unfaithfulness” that covers “whoever divorces” and “marries another.”  Seco nd, al Second, alll scholars on e every very s siide o off thi this s divorce and remarri remarriage age debate a agree gree that it was a given for first century Jews that remarriage was a valid option after a valid valid di divo vorce. rce. To be granted a llegal egal separ separation ation meant de facto that yo you u were no longer bound to anyone and thus free to remarry. No one in Jesus audience was thi thinki nking ng th that at remarriag remarriage ew wo o uldn’t uldn’t be an o pti ptio o n. If Jesus w wanted anted to tteach each that remarriage remarriage after e every very divorce w as unacceptabl unacceptable, e, he wo ul uld d have made tthat hat new teaching much clearer. Third, the phrase “is not enslaved” in 1 Corinthians 7:15 probably implies that the spouse who has been deserted is free to marry. This would have been the defaultt JJew defaul ewiish po positi sitio o n, and iitt s seems eems to be the sa same me idea fo foun und d clearly clearly in v. 39 (“she is free to be married to whom she wishes”). The Greek word is different in verse 15, but they are related words that convey the same idea. Of course, just because a divorced person may be free to remarry does not mean it is necessarily a good or wise idea. A lot of other considerations come into play. But the general principle is, after a legitimate divorce, there is freedom to remarr remarry. y. 7. Improperl I mproperly y di divorced vorced and remarried Chri Christians stians shoul should d sta stay y as they are, but repent and be forgiven of their past sins and make whatever amends are necessary. This is where things get really messy. What if you are in a second or third marriage that you now realize is sinful? Should you get a divorce? I don’t think so. The principle in 1 Corinthians 7, repeated in verses 17, 20 and 24, is “remain as you yo u ar are.” e.” Go God d does not want yo you u to add to the si sin n of a remarri remarriage age the sin sin of  another divorce. Does thi this s mean me an those Chri Christian stians s have go gotten tten aw away ay w wiith sin sin? ? No Nott at al alll. We are never better off for having sinned. There are consequences in our relationships. dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

There may be consequences in your spiritual life. And if you look back at your sinful divorce and remarriage and think “Wow, I’m glad I didn’t know all this ten years ago” that is a dreadful sign that something is very wrong in your heart. If  the Spiri Spiritt is at wo rk yo you u wil willl n no o t thin think k ““Phew, Phew, I real reallly go gott aw away ay w wiith o one ne here.”  Instead you will think, “O Lord, I am so sorry. I was ignorant of the Scriptures. I was blind to my own sin. I have broken your law and sullied the name of Christ. Please forgive me. Have mercy on us Lord.” And you’ll not only ask for the Lord’s forgiveness, yo you’l u’lll make tthi hings ngs ri right ght with yo your ur ex-spo ex-spouse, use, with yo your ur ki kids, ds, your parents, your in-laws—you’ll make amends and ask for forgiveness with anyone else you hurt by breaking your marriage vows. Let me just finish by very briefly addressing three groups of people. To the married married:: Stay marri married. ed. Guard your marriag marriage. e. Don’t tthi hink nk yo you u are abov above e fallling. D fal Do o n’t thi think nk yo you u are abov above e te temptation. mptation. Pray to together. gether. Take walks together. Get away from the kids to be together. There are few things more precious in life than your marriage. Do not take it for granted. And if you are contempl co ntemplatin ating g di divo vorce, rce, pl please ease ttal alk k to so someo meo ne. Pl Please ease don’t give up. IIff yo you u have bibl bibliical ground grounds s fo r di divo vorce, rce, co consi nsider der what gl glo o ry it mig might ht be to Go d to patiently work toward reconciliation. And if you don’t have biblical grounds, consider what offense it will be to God to break the promises you made in his name. Co nsi nsider der the harm to yo your ur ki kids. ds. Stay ma marri rried. ed. To the di divo vorced rced and si singl ngle: e: If you had grounds for a di divo vorce, rce, the leader leaders sw want ant to do everything everything we can to m make ake sure n no o one loo looks ks dow down n on yo you. u. IIff yo you uh have ave been sinned against, we do not want to treat you as the sinner. We do not want you to run from the church, but find grace and fellowship here. If yo you u are di divo vorced rced but shoul shouldn’t dn’t be, can you find hope in your heart that G Go od might be able to reconcile you and your spouse? It would be a great trophy of  his grace to bring you two back together. If that doesn’t happen, don’t get remarried. remarri ed. Don’t thin think k yo u can al alway ways s repent later. You never kno know: w: the next time you blatantly sin may be the time the Lord gives you over to the hardness of your heart and puts you beyond the pale. To those who have sinfully divorced, to those whose sin caused the divorce, to those who are now remarried when you shouldn’t be: run to the cross. It is not a light light thi thing ng to tear as asun under der what Go God d jo joiined to together. gether. IItt is no small mistake tto o pursue an adulterous second marriage. But God’s grace is not light, and it is not small. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. There is mercy yet for you. But the contri co ntrition tion must be real, th the e admission o off gui guillt m must ust be ho honest, nest, the repentance must be earnest. A bro broken ken heart and a co ntri ntrite te spi spiri ritt tthe he Lord w wiill n never ever deny. Run to God. Plead with God. Know his adopting love. Experience again his  justifyi  justi fying ng free g grace. race. Ther There e iis s a foun fountai tain n ffiilled wi with th b blloo d, drawn drawn fr from om Immanuel mmanuel’s ’s veins. And sinners plunged beneath that flood, lose all their guilty stains.

Kevin DeYoung TheGospelCoalition/Blogs

Kevin Ke vin DeYoun DeYoung g is the Senior Pastor at University Reformed dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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Church (RCA) in East Lansing, Michigan, right across the street from Michigan State University. He has been the pastor there since 2004.

Gill Rita November 25, 2014

Hello to to all my Name is Rita Gill from Uni United ted Stat States es of A merica , I do hope my post gets read a nd hopefully helps somebody a long th the e line. i will never forget the help the Dr Uzor spe ll temple render to me in my marital life. i have been mar ried for 4 ye ars now and my husband and i love e ach other very de arly . after 3 years of our mar riage my husband suddenl suddenly y change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was just checking my mails in the office when i saw someone sharing her testimony on how the Dr Uzor spell temple help her out with her marital problems so i contacted the email of Dr Uzor i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place that i should fill some information concerning my self i did after 30 minus he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within 48 hours. he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that happen.t hat th they ey will restored my marr iage but i will make a free donation to their Dr Uzor home anything anythi ng my heart told me. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr Uzor a try they work surprises because i know they will also bring back your husband. contact him via uzorspelltemple@ [email protected] gmail.com you can still visit his web site http://uzorspelltemple.webs.com or Tel; (234)-813169334. sure he will help you get the problem solved okay . [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

October 30, 2014

I have be en married to my husband for th the e past 4years, just 2month 2months s ago he left me for another woman.On my search to get him back I came across this powerful spell caster.I never believ ed he could help me but as a result of my frustration I decided to give him a try. it only took him three days and my husband came back begging since then i am the only woman he now sees. thank you so much Drlawrencespe lltemple@ lltemple@hotmai hotmail.com l.com he can save your marriage too [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Colin Buscumb August 13, 2014

Hi. I thought some if the posts here were quite incite full. Especially about the two types of words that Jesus Jesus used in put puttin ting g away and divor ce. I have bee n pondering over what has happened to me and was hoping to find some sort of definit definitive ive answer. My c hristi hristian an wife hated being married e very since we married. Some old hidden baggage appeared and fought to to end it for most of the 8 years we were marr ied. She finally ended it. She ended it most horribly. horribly. Nearly three ye ars later she divorced me after giving me months of abuse even after she got what she wanted. I found out tthat hat she is with her ex boyfriend she had be fore she me t me who is not a C hristi hristian an and thou though gh I maybe wrong, think think she is possibly, to some degree , having sex with him. him. They have been together for a while now but I noticed that he doesn't live there yet but have found out that there are indications of  something going on., bed slippers, buying her appliances ... That sort of thing. My question is can I remarry? I've read countless arguements either way and would love a definate answer please anyone [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Gill Rita November 25, 2014

Hello to to all my Name is Rita Gill from Unit United ed States of Ame rica , I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line. i will never forget the help the Dr dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%2… %3B%2…

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7 Bib ibli lic cal H e elp lps s for Pr ea eachin ing g o on n D iiv vor ce ce and R e em mar ria riag g e by Kevin D e eY Young --S Ser mo monC e en ntr al. al.c com

Uzor spell temple render to me in my marital life. life. i have been married for 4 ye ars now and my husband and i love love e ach other very dearly . after 3 ye ars of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervent intervention ion the th thing ing became mo re se rious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was  just check ing my ma ils in the office when i saw s someo omeone ne shar sharing ing her tes testimony timony on how the Dr Uzor s pell temple help her out with her marital problems so i contact contacted ed the email of Dr Uzor i told hi him m my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to th the e right place that i should fill some information concerning concerning my self i did after 30 minus he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within 48 hours. he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage but i will make a free donati donation on to their Dr Uzor home anythi anything ng my heart told me. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his k nees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr Uzor a try they work surprises because i k now th they ey will also bring back your husband. cont contact act him via [email protected] you can still visit his web site http://uzorspelltemple.webs.com or Tel; (234)-813169334. sure he will help you get the problem solved okay. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Emily Brandon May 31, 2014

My ex broke up with me for the fact that he wanted space, i tried telling him how much i love him but he was just so s tub tubborn, born, he suddenly changed, he started cheating, I was so hurt and depressed. so a friend suggested the idea of contact contacting ing a spell caster, which I nev er thought of myself. after i contacted contact ed robinsonbuckler@ [email protected] yahoo.com for his help. I aske d him to do a love spe ll for me so that my lover can co me back to me, but before the spell was done, I was a bit skeptical about the the capacity to bring my lover back to me. 3 days after the spell was actually cast, my lover transformed, he returned to me and since then tthere here is no more mistrust an and d no more lies between us. He doesn't cheat anymore. there is no word to say how grateful I am, I am leaving a testi testimonial monial on thi this s page, Mr Robinson 's number is 1 9 7 1 5 1 2 6 7 4 5 [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

July 18, 2014

What will I own if I don?t say thanks to spiritual ebiza who brought my ex lover back to me when I was broken heated by him, when this happened I thought this is the end to my world bec ause I was so frustrated but to th thanks anks to God almight almighty y I was able to directed by a friend of mine who dr ebiza helped to bring her lost family back to her so I contacted [email protected] and explain my problems/situation to him and in the the next 24 hours he called me and tell me that I will receive a me ssage from my ex soon from him, and really it happened, he ran to me kneeling pleading for me to forgive him and I have accepted him back I am so happy to have him back on my side, I will not only say thanks to [email protected] but to say may God bless you and give you life more pro sperity and endeavors in ev erything you do? tthanks hanks and god bless call dr on 234-80-637-611-87 [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

March 26, 2014

Dr Lawrence s aved my marriage within 3 3days days of contact contact,i ,i contact contacted ed him in regard of my husband who left me for another woman i tried all the methods i know to get him back but to no avail then a good friend of mine Mrs maria int introduce roduce me to drlawrencespelltemple@ drlawrencespelltemple@hotmai hotmail.com l.com who cast a powerful and wonderful spell that brought him back to me in just 3days i really want to use this medium to advice that for solution regarding any relationship issues contact the temple and all your worry s will be gone: [email protected] [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%…

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Jason Phillips A pril 4, 2013

What is anybody else's take on the comment I posted prior [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Jason Phillips A pril 4, 2013

Ibelieve read thru here stronglyybelieve what is being said and interrupted. Onenot thing that I strongly is that if and you divorce our wife because of justifiable cause you are supposed to remarry her if she goes to anot another her man and she is divor ced by him or just simply left an and d divorced y ou for an affair. To me the law is from Go d and speaks clearly. I hear that thi this s is not right because Jesus says to forgive but I say when God made the law H He e wasnt just goi going ng to come back and say Oh I was just kidding we are ammending my law [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Kurt Ku rt Bresle r 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Also I have texted her or emailed her everyday since she left, I have apologized asked for forgiveness and have taken a deep look at what is inside of my heart I don't want want a divorce however is it good for me to think that I should give her a divorce to keep the peace when what I think she wants want s is a younger guy, who make s lots of money and want wants s to have a child. How Spirit Spiritual ual should my ex pectati pectations ons be considering our society and the church have such lenient ideals of the santity santity of  marriage? [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Kurt Ku rt Bresle r A pril 17, 17, 2012

My wife left me about 5 weeks ago and has not talked, texted, called called or e mailed I have hear d nothing. noth ing. I am sure she has talked to other other C hristi hristians ans who are lenient in tthere here views of divorce. I filed for disablity disablity because I have bi-polar illness as well as back and shoulder injuries injuries sustained from doing tree work. One Friday nigh nightt we were singin singing g on the Praise team togeth together er at a C elebrate Recover y mee tin ting g and come Wednesday she walked out and said nothin nothing g only that she wasn't coming back and wanted a divorc e. I do understand th that at I could have mentall mentally y or emotionall emotionally y abused her of course that could be anythin anything g from my understan understanding. ding. If a person feels abused does that make it abuse? Personally I am soul sick in my trying to understand this situation. If she has an excuse to divorce me she says I should have bee n working tto o take care of her, again I own a home and she was working and we did not miss any meals or go with without out a roof, or elect, or water or any necessities even though things were tight, should I just give up and let her go? [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Dr. Luke Kauffman A pril 17, 17, 2012

Thank you, Eric . . . for your r esponse and suggestion. Greatly appreciated. I will see if I can find it on Kindle, first. first. God bless, and let's always reme mber that we are great sinners save d by a G reat Savior!!! [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Eric Thompson 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Dr. Luke...neither...it's not about being more convincing or someone's pre-suppositions. It's about dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%…

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cultural, cult ural, historical, historical, and Biblical context. Th The e book was recomme nded to me by a Hebrew scholar and was very informati informative. ve. I think think you would fin find d it worth tthe he read. More accurate because there are some statements here that put put believers that h have ave a divorce force d on them to live a life in bondage. This is really a touchy and diverse topic that should not be debated here. Hence, the suggestion to read a scholarly source. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Robert Thangasamy 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Why was no refere nce made to Malachi 2:1 2:16 6 ?For tthe he Lord God of I srael says That He He hates divorce, For it covers one?s garment with violence,? violence,? Says the Lord of hosts. ? ?Therefore Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Robert Thangasamy A pril 17, 17, 2012

Why was no refere nce made to Malachi 2:1 2:16 6 ?For tthe he Lord God of I srael says That He He hates divorce, For it covers one?s garment with violence,? violence,? Says the Lord of hosts. ? ?Therefore Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Robert Thangasamy 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Why was no refere nce made to Malachi 2:1 2:16 6 ?For tthe he Lord God of I srael says That He He hates divorce, For it covers one?s garment with violence,? violence,? Says the Lord of hosts. ? ?Therefore Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Doug Conley of Meyersdale Church Of Christ A pril 17, 17, 2012

Why is there no mention that Jesus used two different words which a lot of English translations put as divorced? Apoluo and apastation are the the words used by C hrist hrist.. One is divorce, the oth other er is put away, which is is not divorce. If I put my wife away and she goes to anot another her man, or course there's adultery; adultery; she's still married. This, not divorce, is the sin. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Robert Sickler of Church Flame A pril 17, 17, 2012

Well done! [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Armando Esca mill milla a 17, 2012 A pril 17,

I read these email articles week ly and often rece ive insight. Th This is article was particularly wellwri wellwritt tten en and thorough. Thank you for taking the time to answer some difficult questions and speak the truth biblically and in love. It has helped me a lot. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%…

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Joel Rutherford of 1st Christians Church 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Your Comments [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Joel Rutherford of 1st Christians Church 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Your Comments [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Dr. Luke Kauffman A pril 17, 17, 2012

Eric . . . While I apprciate your suggestion, I need to know how you measure what is more accurate? Is it more convincing or does it match the reader's pre-supposit pre-suppositions? ions? Truly a friendly question to which I would love to know what is the grid that you use to determine what is More Accurate? We all need that grid as His servants, so, please share the grid to all of us. OK? [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Eric Thompson A pril 17, 17, 2012

For a deeper and more accurate Biblical interpretat interpretation ion on marriage and divorce I would like to suggest you read "Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary C ontext" by David Instone-Brewer. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Mark Markham of Travis Oaks Baptist Church A pril 17, 17, 2012

This is one of the best explanations explanations I have read on what th the e Bible say s about divorce. Thank you for sharing this. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Dr. Luke Kauffman 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Great prese ntat ntation, ion, Kevin. . . I would add one more Biblical observation, which which is that divorce in Deut 24 is God' idea, not man's, but for the female to have a better life, not for the man to get rid of  her. True it was for the hardness of man's heart, but in balance, Deut 24, tells us that it is the female that profits profits from a hardhearded husband. [delete comment] Sign in to in to reply to this comment.

Jack Gandy 17, 2012 A pril 17,

Thanks for that balanced insight into a rather messy issue. Too often we tend to go from one extreme to another, from casual acceptance to rigid legalistic legalistic condemnation. Divorce is never God's best, but is sometimes a part of life. Learning how to deal with it through the provisions of Scripture dat data:te a:tex xt/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv t/html;charset=utf-8,%3Cdiv%20id%3 %20id%3D%22Articl D%22ArticleDeta eDetailil_FullWidth%2 _FullWidth%22%2 2%20sty 0style%3D%22 le%3D%22float%3 float%3A%20 A%20ri right%3B%2 ght%3B%20w 0width%3 idth%3A%20 A%2060 600px 0px%3B%…

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